


burgundy

by discordiansamba



Series: burgundy [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 82,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13907256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discordiansamba/pseuds/discordiansamba
Summary: AU. The last thing he expected upon being sent by Kolivan to a backwater planet with the vague mission of finding a weapon straight from legend was that he'd end up piloting one of them himself. But his growing attachment to the humans he'd found himself tossed halfway across the galaxy with? That was something he'd expected even less.(Blade of Marmora!Keith AU)





	1. prelude

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing anything for the fandom, and of course, as is my wont, I go in whole hog with an AU. For those of you following me for Detective Conan fics, don't worry, I do plan to get back on top of those as well! I was close to burning out there for awhile and simply decided to take something of a hiatus to get myself back in the zone, so to speak. (Also, real life obligations, those too.)
> 
> So again, this is my first fic for this fandom- it's been an idea that's been mulling around in my head ever since I watched season two. This is more or less the prologue to the rest of the fic, and so not much dialogue indeed up in this chapter... oops.
> 
> Anyways enough of me, thanks for reading!

They'd sent him here looking for something. Something out of legend, something that if found, could turn the tide of the war.

Something that _desperately_ needed to be kept out of Zarkon's hands.

Beyond that? He basically had no idea what it was that he was looking for. Or even _where_ it was, other than which of the massive land masses it was located on. Even then, that gave him _a lot_ of territory to cover, and probably not a whole lot of time to cover it. Who knew when Zarkon's forces would catch wind of it's location- if they hadn't already.

That they were looking, of that they had no doubt.

Still, to think the key to defeating the ten thousand year old reign of tyrant could be found on a planet so backwater, they hadn't even yet managed to leave their own solar system. It almost sounded like a bad joke. He might be serving the cause, but it almost felt more like exile.

(Was it? He wasn't sure. He didn't _exactly_ have the best track record of following orders, after all.)

(Or maybe they'd just sent him because he was _short_. At least people here wouldn't mistake him for being much younger than he actually was due to his height- here, he came in around an average height for his age.)

He didn't even know if Kolivan actually _believed_ in the legends of Voltron or not. But he'd been given the mission, and he'd sensed this wasn't one of the things that he could argue with him about. Granted, as the leader of the Blade of Marmora, he wasn't technically supposed to argue with him about anything- but again, there was that whole issue with _following order_ s thing.

He'd gotten that from his mother.

(She couldn't decide whether to be angry or proud about it.)

He probably would have fought more if he knew that the mission would involve taking on such an inconvenient form- and even worse, being _stuck_ with it. The Galra might not be shapeshifters, but there were other ways to change one's appearance- and some more than just skin deep. He'd used one of the latter- and until the time came when his mission was completed, and he either located the weapon of legend, or determined that it's presence on this planet was nothing more than a rumor, he wasn't going to be changing back any time soon.

Figures that the race that hadn't even managed to leave their own system yet didn't even know extraterrestrial life existed. And while humans seemed to come in a fair array of colors, they were mostly of earth tones- shades of tan, brown, and peach, not a trace of purple, blue, or even the occasional gray in sight.

They certainly didn't have claws, or fangs, and he couldn't help but wonder how it was they even managed to hear _anything_ with their short, rounded ears. He _still_ hadn't gotten used to having a new, lesser range of hearing, even if he suspected his was still far better than that of your average human.

Inconvenient body was right, he grumbled to himself. How did humans even live like this? They couldn't even identify each other by scent.

And their technology was no better. He'd thought that given their reputation as Earth's premier space exploration program, the Galaxy Garrison would have been the best place to start when it came to searching for what he'd came here for, but he'd quickly learned otherwise. At this rate, he was starting to wonder if it was even worth the trouble he had gone though to enroll as a cadet there.

(Not that it had actually been that _hard_. Shouldn't a place like this have like, actual _background checks_? Obviously not, if they'd accepted a student who basically hadn't even existed the day before.)

Even if it did give him a roof over his head, and three meals a day- not to mention the chance to pilot something, _anything_ \- even if it was just a simulator most days.

It wasn't nearly enough. To make matters worse, none of the pilots here had any real talent- if one of Zarkon's ships showed up one day, he didn't doubt that Earth would be conquered before the end of the day.

All pilots but one, that was.

Takashi Shirogane.

His assigned mentor.

His mentor, who wouldn't leave him alone.

Be it dragging him to the commissary to eat something other than ration bars (what was wrong with ration bars?), or asking him more questions that he cared to answer, it was quite clear that the older man had almost no intention of leaving him in peace. And while he had a begrudging respect for his skills as a pilot, the last thing he wanted to do was try and make _friends_ with any of the local populace.

He had a job to do, he didn't have time to get involved.

(Some humans were easier to ignore than others. That loud kid in the same class as him, the one whose name kept slipping his mind, was an example. What was that guy's deal, and what even was a _mullet_?)

The worst part about this one, however, was that it was really hard _not_ to like him. He had a way about him that he couldn't quite describe- something that drew people in, almost like a black hole- if not considerably less deadly. He had no intention of warming up to him, but it was almost like he didn't have a choice in he matter.

When he started calling him _Shiro_ , he was forced to admit defeat. Fine- fine! So he was interested in this one human in particular, big deal. It was fine. It wasn't so bad that he'd let it distract him from his mission.

Not that he had much to show for it, even though he'd been out here long enough to get used to seeing pale skin, purple eyes, and black hair reflected back at him in the mirror. Even though he'd gotten used to be being addressed as _Keith_ , no longer failing to respond to the name he'd picked as a more human alias. It wasn't through any lack of effort on his part either- he was starting to think that whatever this _Voltron_ was, it just simply wasn't here.

But _probably_ wasn't good enough for Kolivan. If he was going to get off this rock, then he needed to be one hundred percent sure it wasn't here.

By the time a deca-phoeb, give or take, depending on the differences between cycles, had passed, Keith thought he was going to go mad.

And to make matters worse, Shiro was leaving. The one human that he had learned to get along with, and he was leaving, flying off into the far reaches of space- or at least, what the humans considered to be the far reaches of space. Beyond this system, even the clunkiest of ships could make the journey in at least a few quintants, if not much, much faster. For the humans, however, the journey would take several of their months- and that was only just _getting_ there.

He half wanted to tell Shiro not to go.

And not just because he would miss him. _Please_ , like that would ever be the case- he'd gotten used to not seeing people for long stretches of time working with the Blade. A few months would pass by in the blink of an eye compared to some of the deep cover assignment that their agents could be sent out on.

He didn't even miss his own mother that much, and he hadn't been able to contact her in deca-phoebs. There was no way that he was going to miss someone who would only be gone for half that time, especially not when he'd only met him a little over a deca-phoeb ago.

No, what he was more worried about was the Galra Empire.

As of yet, he hadn't received any word from Kolivan that they were in the area- he surely would have been notified if that was the case. But though they had showed no apparent interest in Earth as of yet, that was something that could change quickly.

It would be fine, he reasoned at the time. Space was vast, even if the Galra Empire ruled most of it, the Kerberos mission was a small one, made up of no more than three members. It wasn't like any of the other planets in this system hosted sentient life, so they might actually be safer there than here, should the Empire decide to show it's face. They'd probably look right past an uninhabitable moon.

(He'd been wrong.

It wasn't fine.)

He'd yelled at Kolivan, damaged no small amount of Garrison property, swore he'd kill Zarkon himself if given half the chance, and punched one of the commanders, not necessarily in that order. It was the latter that found him tossed out of the Galaxy Garrison, sending him back to the tiny shack that he had staked out when he'd first arrived here.

Shiro was gone.

The news said that he was dead, due to a crash- but he knew it was filled with lies. Pilot error, they'd said- as if Shiro was some kind of _incompetent_. No, there was no way. He was better than that.

Then he'd heard from Kolivan that one of the Empire's cruiser had been spotted on the edge of the system, and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that there had been no crash. Shiro, and the rest of his crew, had been taken.

Taken by the Empire.

Him being dead might still very well be true.

And Kolivan was _not_ helping.

He'd kind of expected it. It was clear that he disapproved of the apparent attachment he'd developed to the human- an attachment that Keith didn't even realize ran as deep as it did until he was already gone. He thought it was distracting from his mission- it was- and that it wasn't worth the risk to go and save a single human prisoner.

( _Three prisoners_ , he reminded himself, and would feel guilty for leaving out the other two crew members much later.)

And Keith understood. He understood- but that didn't mean he didn't hate it. Because the Galra Empire being on the edge of the system meant that there was a chance that the rumor of a part of Voltron being here had reached their ears as well. Kolivan couldn't afford him being distracted right now.

As a member of the Blade of Marmora, he should have been used to people disappearing on him. It happened all the time- the mission being more important than the individual was something that had been drilled into his head ever since he was able to walk. But this was different- this wasn't a fellow Blade member, one who knew exactly what it was that they were getting into, but someone who had nothing to do with the conflict at all- someone whose only crime was being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

It wasn't right.

To sit back and do nothing just didn't feel right.

It was enough to make him want to punch someone- which, yeah, he kind of did. Broke their jaw too. His senses might have been downgraded upon taking this form, but if there was one thing that hadn't changed too much, it was his physical strength.

He didn't regret it one bit, but it did result in him being exiled again- to the desert, this time. Whoops.

That was also around when he felt the energy for the first time.

He didn't know what it was at first. It might have been his imagination, the heat of the desert getting to him- until he sensed it again, and then another time, and Keith came to understand that it was very real. At the time, he didn't think that it was what he was searching for- but given that he had almost no other leads to work with, it was worth looking into.

Kolivan had given him a slightly odd look when he'd reported as much back to him, but at the time, Keith hadn't thought much of it. He was always giving him those kind of looks.

So he searched the desert, trying to find where it was this energy was calling to him from. It wasn't like there was much else he could do while living in a shack in the middle of the desert, and it kept him from dwelling too much on Shiro's disappearance. Kept Kolivan happy too- or at least, as happy as he got, especially when he reported back to him about the cave with all of the strange lion carvings.

He was on the right track.

He'd wonder why it took so long to pick up on this- this energy that got harder to ignore by the quintant. When he later learned who it was that would pilot the Blue Lion, he thought he had his answer- there was that old Earth saying about peas in a pod.

And the Galra Empire drew closer all the while.

The humans didn't even _notice_.

They were drawing closer- and the writing on the wall was all spelling out the _when_. There was something there, on the cave walls, something about some kind of event, some kind of _arrival_ , though of what kind, they didn't specify- and at first, he thought all the clues were pointing towards the Galra.

Until he received contact from a fellow Blade, that was.

Brief, to the point, but enough.

Kolivan would have never approved the transmission. But if there was something that he had in common with Ulaz, it was not always listening to orders, to following their instincts, even when they went against the mission.

And his instinct had been to send Shiro home.

But if he wanted to get him, he was going to have to act fast. He didn't know where his pod was going to land, or _crash_ , to be more exact- other than that it was going to fall somewhere on Garrison property. He couldn't- he wouldn't- let Shiro fall back into their hands, not when they didn't understand anything about what it was they were dealing with.

He knew how much the druids liked to experiment with prisoners- and who knew what they had done to Shiro. Ulaz's message had been sent off in such a hurry, that he didn't have time to tell him anything further. He was making himself scarce, having blown his cover to do this. Likely he wouldn't be able to get anything further from him for some time.

If he got the chance, he'd thank him. But right now, he had a mission.

Distracting the humans had been easy- and dispatching the ones in makeshift decontamination area had been even easier. He'd thought about wearing his Marmora armor at first- but the less the humans knew, the better- he didn't want to risk them seeing it, and raising more questions that they didn't even need to know to ask.

Besides, if Shiro had been held captive by the Galra Empire for the past deca-phoeb, the last thing he needed to know was that he was one too. Even if he didn't look like one of them right now.

And it was him.

It was Shiro.

Scarred, with a shock of white hair, and a cyborg prosthetic that he knew at once was Galra tech- but it was Shiro.

Now he just had to get him out of here, and then everything would be-

"Oh no, no, no, no, no."

What.

" _I'll_ be the one saving Shiro."

 _ **What**_.


	2. complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, between the crashed alien spaceship, and the very not-dead pilot of the Kerberos mission being inside of it, this _still_ managed to be the craziest thing that Lance had seen all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with the first proper chapter! Since the first episode, Rise of Voltron, is a one hour special, it's probably going to take a bit to get through it- I was kind of planning on doing this as sort of a one episode equals one chapter thing, but that would leave this chapter being really, really long in comparison to the others, so for the moment I'm just kind of winging it in terms of chapter length.
> 
> Anyways, that's enough out of me! Hope y'all enjoy!

A shack.

He'd been living in a _shack_.

And not just _any_ shack, oh no. One that was out in the middle of the desert.

A _desert_ shack.

Like some kind of... some kind of crazy desert hermit!

Somehow, between the crashed alien spaceship, and the very _not-dead_ pilot of the Kerberos mission being inside of it, this still managed to be the craziest thing that Lance had seen all day.

His onetime rival, in a shack, in the desert. God, it was even covered with mountains of paper and old books- and was that a cork board hastily covered by an old sheet? Oh that was never good.

He'd never taken Keith Kogane much for the crazy, desert dwelling, conspiracy theorist type, but in hindsight, it _almost_ seemed to make sense to him. He hadn't heard a word about him since he'd gotten expelled from the Galaxy Garrison due to discipline issues, but if he'd been living for the past year in almost virtual isolation... well, he guessed that kind of made sense, in a way.

And... alright, to be fair, he'd always thought that Keith was _kind of_ on the crazy side. I mean, what else did you call a kid who just carried around a _knife_ on the regular? Someone who actually seemed to _like_ the Garrison provided ration bars? Not to mention one who didn't understand any of his totally awesome jokes- it was like he'd just crawled out from underneath a rock or something, _geez_.

"So just so I'm getting this straight," Keith was speaking now, and Lance dimly realized that one of the other two must have been recounting how it was that they came to be at the crash site in the first place, "...you saw something crash into the earth, decided to investigate it, and then decided you were going to butt in on my rescue mission?"

"Well _butt in_ isn't the word I would choose but," Hunk paused for a moment, seeming to reconsider his words, "...okay, yeah, we pretty much did butt in there, didn't we?"

" _Yes_." Keith's tone was as dry as the desert air- making it all too clear that he very expressly did not want them to be here. Figures. He'd never exactly been known for his winning personality.

"Well it's not like we can just _leave_ ," Pidge spoke up, picking up on that fact right away, "...not when the Garrison probably has our faces on video. Or Lance's, at least, since he's the only one who actually went into the tent."

Damn, they were right.

"Yeah, I mean, they kinda seemed like they were going to try and make him disappear, so..."

The _him_ that Hunk was referring to was none other than Takashi Shirogane- the hero, the legend, the pilot that Lance had looked up to for like... ever. The one who was currently lying still as a doll on a couch that Lance was pretty sure Keith had never bothered dusting, only the steady rising and falling of his chest indicating that he was even still alive.

Takashi Shirogane, who had fallen to earth in what he was pretty sure was a crashed alien spaceship.

Takashi Shirogane, who had woke, ranting of aliens who destroyed worlds.

Takashi Shirogane, who was currently sporting a frankly pretty _sick_ cybernetic arm that he was damn sure he didn't have before he went missing.

(Said sick cybernetic arm also intimidated Lance more than a little, but he wasn't about to admit that out loud.)

"Yeah, and besides," Lance finally decided to speak up himself, "...we can't just let you take all the credit for rescuing Shiro, now can we?"

"The only thing you did was weigh me down." Keith replied dryly. "And the three of you should leave. If you're _that_ worried about the Garrison finding you, you can head into town and take one of the late night buses out of here. They probably won't be checking them until they've finished clearing the crash site of all debris."

Figures the crazy desert hermit kid would have an _escape plan_ , Lance thought dimly.

" _I'm_ not going anywhere." Pidge said, steely determination in their voice. "Not until I get a chance to ask Shiro about the other two members of his crew."

That... actually seemed to make Keith withdraw a bit, Lance couldn't help but notice. Enough for him to let out an exasperated sigh, and drop his hands from where they were folded in front of his chest.

"Fine. You can stay here _one night_ , and then question Shiro about them when he's awake." Keith said, his voice tight. "But don't push it."

"Deal." Pidge said, seemingly satisfied with that.

"You think he's gonna wake up though?" Hunk asked, hesitation clear in his voice. "I mean, he kind of slept through the whole chase, you know, the one where we kind of went off a cliff and all, so what if he _doesn't_ -"

"He'll wake up." Keith cut him off. "He will."

"Well, if you're sure..." Hunk trailed off, as if suddenly realizing that he didn't know what else to say. It dawned on him that this was probably the longest conversation he'd ever had with Keith, and by and large, it was about _aliens_.

Oh god, he'd just remembered the aliens.

"So did you... did you hear what he was going on about, back there in the tent?" Hunk asked. "The aliens and stuff?"

"No." Keith replied, his brows furrowing as he narrowed his eyes. "How do you know what he was talking about?"

"Pidge here hacked into their camera feed." Lance supplied.

"I can show you, if you want." Pidge offered, already pulling their laptop out of their bag. "I've still got the data recorded on my computer. Sounded like he was talking about some kind of invading force."

And somehow crazy desert hermit kid didn't seem at all surprised by that. Now why didn't that surprise _him_.

"Show me." Keith said, already bending down to get a better look as Pidge set up their laptop on a table that Lance was just now noticing was actually just a plank of wood set atop some cement blocks.

"I gotta warn you though man, it's some serious stuff." Hunk said, his eyes once more straying to where Shiro lay fast asleep on the couch. "Like... serious bad stuff."

Without even looking up, Keith gave him a simple reply, one that none of them found the need to question- "I can handle it."

* * *

_"Aliens are coming here for a weapon."_

_"We_ _**have** _ _to find Voltron."_

It was all he could do to school his reaction so that he didn't give too much away. The average human was sensitive to even the most minute changes of facial expression, he'd since come to learn. Picking up three Garrison cadets on his way to rescue Shiro hadn't been in the cards, and as much as he'd agreed to let them spend the night, he didn't want to give too much away to them either.

The only reason he hadn't just tossed them out right then and there was the strange determination in the smallest one's voice- whatever it was that they wanted to know about the other members of the Kerberos mission, it seemed to be deeply personal. They probably had their own reasons, and throwing them out without answers when he'd ignored his own orders to rescue Shiro would have just been plain hypocritical.

It didn't mean they'd be sticking around, though. As far as he was concerned, they'd be leaving, first thing in the morning, hopefully sooner.

But until then...

"It's that word again." The one called Pidge spoke up, breaking him from his thoughts. "Voltron."

Brows furrowing, Keith tore his eyes away from the computer screen, fixing them on the young human at his side. "You've heard of it before?"

"He sure has!" Lance piped in- because of course he did. From what little Keith recalled of him, he wasn't the type to keep his mouth shut. "Go on and tell them about the _alien radio chatter_ , Pidge."

"You mean the alien radio chatter you made fun of me for?" Pidge dryly asked.

Oh, he might actually kind of like this one.

"Yeah, exactly. That." Lance said, all but brushing off their retort.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Pidge pushed back a bit, closing out of the video recording and bringing up something else entirely. Keith recognized it right away- those were the same frequencies that Galran cruisers used to send messages. Sure enough, the message that went along with it was in Galran.

"I can't understand any of it, but there is one word that they keep repeating." Pidge noted.

"Voltron." Keith supplied, the furrow of his brow deepening. This stuff... it didn't look like Garrison tech. As far as he knew, they didn't have anything that would have allowed them to pick up on Galran transmissions. And believe him- he'd checked. "Where did you get all this?"

"Built it." Pidge said- and he didn't miss the way they poofed out their chest a little. He had to admit... he was actually kind of impressed. He didn't recognize this one from his time at the Garrison, like he vaguely recognized the other two- so they must have enrolled after him.

"Mind if I listen in on this?" Keith asked. He didn't doubt that Kolivan had gotten wind of these transmissions already, but it would be his first time hearing them- and if they involved Shiro (and Voltron) in any way, then he wanted to know. If the kid had also managed to intercept any of his transmissions back to Kolivan... then he kind of needed to know that too.

Given the situation, Keith would rather avoid being outed as an alien spy. Though given that the sound of his voice hadn't seemed to raise any alarm bells with them, perhaps he didn't have anything to worry about.

Or perhaps he did, and this _Pidge_ was simply accustomed to his voice speaking _Galran_.

"Sure, though I doubt you'll understand anything." Pidge said, sliding a bit aside, letting Keith take a seat. "It's all a bunch of alien gibberish. I've been trying to translate it, but languages aren't exactly my forte."

Biting back a remark that what they were speaking right now sounded a lot more like alien gibberish to him, Keith began to play back the recorded messages, starting from the most recently intercepted ones. From the sound of it, they had all been picked up from one ship- likely whatever ship Zarkon had patrolling the edge of the system- but he couldn't say that he recognized the voice of it's commanding officer.

"It's been going _crazy_ tonight." Pidge helpfully supplied. "I can... kinda guess why, now." They added after a moment, gaze falling back on Shiro.

They must have said something else after that, but frankly, Keith didn't hear them. His focus was on the transmissions. Voltron came up more than a few times- but so did Ulaz's name, and one word that he recognized to mean ' _champion_ ', though it took him awhile to truly place the context of it in the message.

The champion escaped, one transmission had said. The champion stole one of the escape pods. It was with a tightening knot of dread in his stomach that Keith realized that _champion_ was being used to refer to Shiro- and dimly, he recalled just how much the Galran Empire loved their gladiator matches.

Had Shiro been made to fight in those?

So not only had they taken his arm, they'd also forced him to fight. It was enough to make his stomach well up in disgust, and when it became too much to handle, he pulled back from the computer, taking in and letting out a long, deep breath.

This was bad.

Jolting up, ignoring the way that he caused the three humans to start, Keith racked his brain for what to do next. How long would it take them to track Shiro here? Did they already know where Voltron was? No, from the sound of it, they had no idea where to start looking. That gave him time, but not much.

And to top it off, there was no way he'd be able to contact Kolivan with _these_ three around.

He had to find Voltron. And _fast_.

And after that... what would he do after that? Obviously he couldn't leave it here. There was no way that he'd be able to get it off planet himself- he'd heard the legends, he knew that they chose their own pilots. The odds that one would choose a _Galra_ for a pilot... that, he doubted. He'd have to arrange a rendezvous with Kolivan, and then what?

He couldn't just _leave_ Shiro here. Could he bring him with him? If the Empire was coming here, then he'd be safer with him than he would be on Earth. He couldn't take him back to the Marmora base- there was no way that Kolivan would allow it, and there were some lines even Keith wasn't about to cross.

Would he have to tell Shiro that he was Galra? Somehow, the idea didn't sit well with him. After all he'd been put through at their hands...

"Hey, yo, earth to crazy desert hermit dude."

Right. Of course. He still had the three freeloaders to deal with.

Letting out a disgruntled sigh, Keith pivoted on his heel, glaring back towards Lance. " _Not_ a crazy desert hermit."

"Sure you're not." Lance told him- and he was pretty sure that was sarcasm. "But listen, hate to interrupt your pacing here, but do you like... have anything to eat around here?"

Opening his mouth, Keith found himself cut off, growing more disgruntled by the second.

"Something _other_ than ration bars?"

"What's wrong with ration bars?"

"Uh, I don't know... maybe _everything_?"

* * *

Sometime in the early morning hours, Keith found an excuse to peel away from the group. Most of them were still asleep, save for Hunk, who blearily lifted a hand at him, before he returned to his watch. Though he'd said it wasn't necessary, they'd been watching Shiro in rotation, none of them having any illusions about how rude his awakening would be.

They'd set aside some food for him once he did wake- real food, by the instance of Hunk, and not simply ration bars. For once, Keith didn't argue- after everything he'd been through, the least Shiro deserved was a good meal. There was clothing set aside as well, figuring that he wouldn't want to stay in the ragged outfit of a prisoner of the Galra Empire.

Putting some distance between himself and the shack, Keith perched on an outcropping of rock, gazing over the vast desert. Somewhere out there, was what he was searching for- and from the sound of it, he didn't have much time left to find it.

But he was close. He had to be. Just like the carvings had said, something had arrived last night, even if it wasn't what he'd expected it to be- and that had to mean _something_. Maybe it was some kind of sign- maybe Shiro had something to do with Voltron. Though what that something could be, he knew not.

(They did choose their own pilots. If there was any human on this rock that was deserving of that, it would be Shiro.)

Either way, he'd better contact Kolivan while he had the chance. Reaching into one of his belt pouches, he produced a small, handheld transmitter. Careful to use a frequency that Pidge's tracker wouldn't pick up on- he'd examined it while the others slept- he used one of the Blade's back channels to contact Kolivan.

The first few times that he had reported back to him with this face, he'd felt undeniably awkward. He'd gotten used to it since then.

"There's trouble." His words were spoken in Galran, making sure to check over his shoulder before a single word of it left his lips. He was far away from the shack, and halved though his hearing might be, he was confident he'd hear anyone coming, but prudence was best. Couldn't afford to be overheard.

Kolivan did not look surprised. But to be honest, Keith couldn't ever recall a time in which he had.

"We have heard." Kolivan's tone was stern- so no change from the usual, then. "Ulaz has defied orders and has been forced to disappear as a result. Though it is to my understanding that you are already aware of this."

Fighting the urge to wince, Keith instead gave him a sharp nod. No point in hiding it. "He contacted me, briefly."

Kolivan did not need to guess as to what, and so he simply did not. "There is a Galran cruiser with the objective of claiming the blue lion en route to your current location. You have a few Earth hours, at best."

"I know." Keith said, his eyes narrowing. "I'll find it, don't worry."

"I trust that you will." Kolivan observed. "We cannot afford to allow Zarkon to get his hands on it. It is to our understanding that he has one in his possession already."

That took Keith by surprise, though he schooled himself not to show it. It was the first he'd heard of such a thing. "Can we get it back?"

"As of now, no." Kolivan said simply. "The intel only just came in, so we do not have enough information, and the mission is too much of a risk to take on the back of a mere rumor. Your task, youngling," oh how he wished he wouldn't call him that, he was too _old_ to be a youngling still, "...is to concentrate on locating the beast that dwells on that planet."

"And I intend to finish it." Keith said, his tone short.

"See that you do."

With that, the transmission cut out. Shoulders slumping, Keith cast his eyes up towards the sky, watching as the sun began to crawl over the horizon. No big deal, he just had to find something in the short span of a few vargas that he'd spent the past two _deca-phoebs_ or so looking for.

That, and lose the Earthlings. Aside from Shiro, that was. Shiro could stay, but the other three? That was something he really didn't need underfoot right now.

Letting out a low groan, the best imitation of frustrated vocalization that he could manage with his current vocal chords, Keith thrust himself up onto his feet. Tucking away the transmitter, he turned on his heel, facing back towards where he could just make out the shack in the distance.

When he entered, he found that Hunk was no longer the only one awake. So were Pidge, Lance- no, not Lance, Lance was still asleep- and-

"Shiro?"

"Uh, yeah, he kind of woke up just after you left." Hunk hurriedly supplied, apparently picking up on the anxiety in his voice. Was he being that obvious? "He's fine though, he's fine. Just went to get changed and you know... get a bit of that fresh Earth air."

Letting out a faint breath of relief, Keith still kicked himself for not actually being here when Shiro woke up. Giving Hunk a nod, Keith made his way out towards the front, and for a moment, it was all he could do to hover there, his breath catching in his throat.

Shiro, looking at his arm- the fake, mechanical, _Galra_ arm. Keith could only be grateful that his back was turned, so that he didn't have to see what kind of expression he wore.

When he touched his shoulder, he didn't flinch. He wondered if that would change, if he knew.

"It's good to have you back."

Whatever expression he might have worn looking at his arm, the one he gave him was enough to wash some of Keith's worst fears away.

But not all.

"It's good to be back."

* * *

He'd wanted to chase the other Earthlings away, not parade around in the desert with him. Which was, incidentally, _exactly_ where he found himself, barely even a varga later. He was starting to think these three were stuck to him like... like _gluten_.

...no wait, wrong word. Glue, it was glue. Stuck to him like _glue_.

But as much as he hated to admit it, they were making progress. He never thought of making a scanner to pick up on the energy source itself- he'd always just followed it, purely on his gut.

Maybe these Earthlings weren't so bad after all- or well, Hunk and Pidge, at least. Lance? Yeah, he could still probably do without Lance.

"These are the lion carvings I was telling you about." Keith noted, as they entered into one of the caves that he had explored many times previously. Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out Lance breaking off from the group, moving to brush some dirt from the wall of the cave.

At which point, the carvings suddenly began to light up, a bright blue glow filling the cavern.

That... that had never happened before.

Neither had the cave floor giving way beneath him, sending him and everyone else into a free fall, down some kind of underground waterfall. Great- so either he was going to fall to his death because of Lance, or, given the way the carvings had lit up just previously, was going to have to owe the success of his entire mission here to him.

And frankly? Keith couldn't decide which option was _worse_.


	3. castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he'd first met Keith Kogane, he'd reminded him of a stray cat. Unused to people, and wanting to keep it's distance.

When he'd first met Keith Kogane, he'd reminded him of a stray cat. Unused to people, and wanting to keep it's distance.

It wasn't exactly rare for senior cadets to be asked to mentor the younger ones- and Shiro had always been more than willing to do it. He was always more than happy to assist aspiring young pilots, and if he had to admit, there were few things that he enjoyed more than seeing that spark of enthusiasm in their eyes.

Keith had none of that.

Talent, yes, and skill as well- more than he had ever seen before in someone his age. But enthusiasm? He didn't think he even knew the meaning of that word.

But Shiro didn't falter. He had a job to do, and if anything, that was all the more reason to do it. What scant information there was available on the boy was telling- no records of any family members, a prior address that turned out to belong to a long abandoned parking lot, and no records at all of _anyone_ by that name living in the state he claimed to come from.

A runaway, Shiro had thought. It wasn't that uncommon- to a runaway, the Galaxy Garrison was a tantalizing option. It provided a roof over their heads, three square meals a day, and most importantly, the promise of stable, future employment once they graduated. He knew that the Garrison was technically required to report such things, but he also knew just as well that more often, they looked the other way.

All the more so for someone of Keith's talent, behavior issues and all.

When Shiro had first been introduced to him, the officer who had done the introducing had wished him _good luck_. It struck him oddly as a warning- one that in due time, began to make sense.

While talented as a pilot, when it came to social skills... well, Keith was decidedly _lacking_. In fact, if Shiro didn't know any better, it was almost like the kid had grown up under some kind of rock. If he was a runaway, then whatever he was running from... well, it was a good thing that he was here now.

Others thought him overly optimistic, but Shiro had confidence that he could be a good influence on the kid. After all, that was what a mentor was for, right?

He didn't expect Keith to open up to him right away- but if there was one thing that he had no shortage of, it was patience. Bit by bit, he slowly managed to chip away at his guard- and while he never got him to drop it completely, by the time it came for him to leave for Kerberos, Shiro was at least confident that Keith would be fine without him.

Hell, it almost looked as if the kid didn't want him to go. He didn't expect him to admit it out loud- and he didn't need to. Guarded though he could be, in some ways, he was like an open book, even if it was true that he could count what he knew about him on one hand. He'd never let much slip about his life before the Garrison, and whenever he did, he'd immediately clam back up again.

_Keith Kogane_ was an alias- which came as no surprise. The boy hadn't told him as much- rather, he'd figured it out on his own. There was no other reason he could think of for being so unresponsive to his own name, especially during his first few weeks at the Garrison.

English, it seemed, was not his first language, and he spoke it far better than he wrote it- though considering the fact that his handwriting was a general mess, maybe it only just looked that way. He never did find out what Keith's native tongue was.

He'd gleaned that Keith's mother was still alive, but that he didn't know where she was, and hadn't spoken to her in years. He seemed genuinely fond of her, and Shiro could only guess it wasn't by her choice they had been separated.

And his father... his father was someone Keith didn't like to talk about. He'd seen the scars on the kid, some old and some new, and decided against pushing the topic. Still, he passed on word to the Garrison guard that if anyone ever came claiming to be Keith Kogane's father, that they be redirected straight to him.

He didn't know what he was running from, but he wouldn't let him go back.

But he didn't need to know about his past to know Keith as a person. He was a good kid- rough around the edges, something of a temper, and awkward when it came to dealing with others, but a good kid. Others might not see him the same way, but given time, he knew that they would come to understand him as he had.

Honestly? He was going to miss him. He'd have to be sure to tell him all about Kerberos when he returned. Maybe introduce him to Matt's little sister sometime. Some friends would do him good, and from the sound of it, Katie was struggling to make friends of her own at school.

He never got the chance.

He'd been taken.

He thought he'd never be able to return.

But he did.

He'd tried to warn the Garrison, but they wouldn't listen. In hindsight, raving like a frantic madman probably wasn't earning him any points- but if they'd been through what he had, they'd be ranting too. Even if he couldn't recall concrete memories from the past year, he need only look down at his own arm to know that it had been a living nightmare.

He slept, and when he woke, he was a free man again.

And Keith was there. In fact, from the sound of it, he'd _saved_ him.

He'd actually been hoping a little that the three Garrison cadets that were with him were his friends- but it quickly became clear that wasn't the case, and they had just happened to be in the same place at the same time when his pod had crashed. In fact, Keith had apparently been _kicked out_ of the Garrison during the time he was gone and had been living in a shack in the middle of the desert all this time- and while there were so many questions Shiro wanted to ask about that alone, it would have to wait.

There were more pressing matters.

God, were there ever.

Aliens were coming. God, he knew that made him sound like a crazy man- but it was true. Aliens _were_ coming, and they were coming for something- a weapon of some kind, one that had been hidden away on Earth. And though he didn't know how he knew, he knew that whatever it was they were searching for, whatever this _Voltron_ might be, that they couldn't be allowed to have it.

As it turned out, Keith had been searching for it all along.

Or well, at least ever since he'd disappeared.

And while it was true that Keith didn't seem to really know the three Garrison cadets- Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, he came to learn their names were- when they offered to help, he didn't turn them down. Progress, Shiro noted, a hint of a smile on his face. Maybe they weren't friends _yet_ , but if he gave them time... he might be on to something here.

(He could worry about the impending alien invasion and his mentoree making friends at the same time if he wanted to. He could multi-task.)

Shiro hung back, watching as Hunk and Pidge worked together to create the sensor that they had talked about, occasionally pausing to ask Keith a question or two, to which he readily answered. Seeing this... it was good.

Even if part of him still half believed it was a dream- right up until he landed face first in a puddle of water.

(Not one of his better moments.)

* * *

The lions chose their pilots. He knew that.

The lions chose their pilots. It was a bond, beyond the understanding of science. The lions could sense things that others could not- even things that their chosen pilots themselves couldn't possibly know. He knew that.

And yet.

Lance.

The blue lion had chosen _Lance_.

It was all he could do to bite his tongue, to keep himself from asking if it was absolutely sure it had made the right choice. Who knows, maybe after ten thousand years of disuse, the lion's judgement had gotten a little bit loopy.

At that, he could have sworn that it's energy had turned angry, but honestly? Ancient sentient warship or no ancient sentient warship, he was going to stand by that statement. If it wanted to throw him out into the vacuum of space for it, that might actually be an _improvement_ over his current circumstances.

It couldn't be any worse than dying as a result of this Earthling's incompetent piloting. Up until that moment, he didn't think it was even possible for him to fear death.

And it surely couldn't be any worse than what Kolivan would do to him when he'd learned that he'd let the blue lion fall into the hands of someone who couldn't even fly one of the human's test simulators without crashing it. Sure, it wasn't as bad as handing it over to the _Zarkon_ , but... yeah, it was pretty bad.

Not that he had much say in the matter. The lion was the one calling all the shots now. All he could do was go along for the ride.

Literally. Very, _very_ , _**very**_ literally.

The blue lion was alive, and it was going home, and like hell was it going to let anything stop it.

(He still couldn't believe they'd gotten away from that cruiser alive, even if he didn't think that jumping through a mysterious wormhole was the best of ideas.)

"But seriously," Lance spoke, "...there's a castle up ahead."

He was right, and Keith felt his breath catch in his throat.

Though their civilization had vanished over ten thousand years ago, well before he was born, he knew at once that the castle, with it's elegant lines, gleaming white in the bright sunlight, untouched by time, was Altean in origin. It called to the lion, so strongly that it crossed galaxies in an instant just to return to it.

Altea, a planet that no longer existed, alongside it's people. The Galra had wiped it from the map- the first of many to suffer the same fate. The only thing that remained of their people, their culture, were some scattered ruins, broken and forgotten, and the lions of Voltron.

"Keith?" Shiro's voice caught his ear, his hand soft on his shoulder. "You okay?"

Drawing in a long breath, Keith swallowed back his own thoughts. He hadn't even realized that they had landed, much less that everyone else had already left the cockpit. So much for being _observant_. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Shiro wasn't convinced, he knew, but he knew just as well that he wouldn't push it. "Alright. But if you need anything, just tell me. We're in this together."

"Whatever this is." He added, almost as an afterthought, and Keith wasn't quite sure if he'd meant to say that aloud or not.

It was a reminder that Shiro was human too, like the others, and held prisoner for a year on a Galra ship or not, there was still much he didn't know.

"Yeah, thanks." Giving him a curt nod, Keith's hand fell on the pouch where he'd tucked his transmitter away, darting in to switch it off for the time being.

No sense in contacting Kolivan until he knew what they were dealing with here. If this really was an Altean castle, maybe he would be able to learn the whereabouts of the other lions from it. If they knew that, not only would they be able to reclaim the red lion from the empire's hands, but they'd also be able to locate and protect the remaining three lions as well.

And wouldn't _that_ be an accomplishment.

Nodding to himself, satisfied with that reason, Keith followed the others outside the cockpit, blinking for a moment in the bright sun. He couldn't be too sure what planet they had landed on, other than that there seemed to be no Galra presence here.

Good.

Even if he did feel slightly nervous about entering an Altean castle. But since the blue lion had allowed him inside of it's cockpit, it would probably be fine.

"Hold for identity scan."

Or not.

Sucking in his breath, Keith braced himself, half waiting for alarms to go off. The change ran deep enough to fool any human detection, but he didn't know if that would hold for Altean tech. If one looked too close, it would become pretty obvious that he wasn't what he appeared to be- an imposter in human skin.

But no alarm bells rang.

Instead, a pathway lit up, glowing a gentle blue, illuminating the dust in the air. Letting out his breath, Keith allowed himself to relax once more- though not as much as he had been. Who knew what he'd find within the castle walls- it was best to be prepared for anything.

The castle was leading them somewhere, at any rate, lighting their path as they went. He could make out the faint sound of systems booting up after ten thousand years of disuse, groaning here and there. It was like a gentle hum, and not one that he particularly minded- why was it, he wondered, that it sounded so much different than the harsh buzz of a Galran cruiser?

"It's some kind of control room." Pidge observed, as they reached where the castle seemed to be leading them.

Keith picked up on the sound likely before anyone else did- and with it, his tension returned. Cryopod technology was thought to be lost to the ages, gone with the Alteans, but he'd seen records of them in the archives of the Blade's headquarters before.

And they weren't empty.

_Alteans_.

* * *

The Altean princess struck him as naive.

Given the fact that she'd been asleep for the past ten thousand years, he couldn't exactly blame her for being unaware of just how deeply entrenched Zarkon's regime had become. Even the virtual sea of distress beacons didn't truly illustrate the whole picture- there were whole planets that had fallen before they had even had the chance to send one out, entire civilizations wiped out in the time it took their armies- if they even _had_ one- to mobilize.

It was a grim picture.

Voltron had the power to turn the tide of the war, and this princess- _Allura_ \- was the key to Voltron, it seemed. Zarkon feared them, just as much as he desired them.

He knew that much.

But he also knew just how firmly entrenched the Galra Empire had become- how powerful their forces had gotten. He'd seen fellow Blades leave on missions, and never come back. It had never phased him- it was simply their way of life, something that they had all come to accept. He'd been trained to look death in the eye and show it no fear- for in a war against a ten thousand year old tyrant, death was inevitable. One had to be ready- ready, if need be, to sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the mission.

_Knowledge or death._

This was not a battle that could be won on hope or ideals alone. Those things were not without their meaning- but they simply weren't enough.

The Altean princess was naive- but also strong. Though obviously struck by a deep grief at the loss of her people, her planet, even her family, she did not break. Perhaps that was just how royalty was. They had to be strong, to be the backbone of their people- even if their people were no more.

She was strong, but also naive.

The Voltron lions were the key to turning the tide against Zarkon, and she was putting them in the hands of _children_.

He was a child himself, it was true, but human children seemed all the more fragile, with their round nails and flat teeth (he was ignoring that he currently possessed those very same traits himself). They had known nothing but peace their whole lives, not bred and raised in war as he had been, living in the shadows just to survive. He'd been raised to fight- and though he'd lived in relative peace while on Earth, it wasn't something one's body forgot.

But these... these humans were just children, save for Shiro. None of them knew battle, none of them knew _war_.

Shiro, the lone adult among them, had tasted it, and it had left him scarred. He'd just come out of hell, and this princess wanted him to go _back in_?

What made her think that any of them could go to war? Fate? _Destiny_? They were novel concepts, but they had no place on the battlefield.

But she seemed to truly believe that they had been brought here as _paladins_.

Himself included.

That, he knew, couldn't be true. He knew the stories of the paladins of Voltron, from long before Zarkon's reign. They were heroes, shining and bright- or were, until everything went south.

But him? He was a solider, not a hero. He _took_ lives, he didn't save them- didn't even know if he knew how. The paladins of Voltron lived in the light, spreading hope and peace throughout the galaxy- but that wasn't the Marmora way.

That wasn't _his_ way.

The irony of being 'given' the red lion was not lost on him. Give the only Galra the one lion in Galra hands. Perhaps the identity scan hadn't come out as clean as he'd first thought.

Especially not since it left him behind, alone in the castle with two Alteans. While Shiro had been the one to split everyone up, Allura had been the one to assign the lions. Perhaps she'd merely been lying about being unable to locate the red lion. Perhaps this was nothing more than a trap. Isolate him from the others, and then see what the Galra who dared to step foot inside her Castle knew.

The princess was naive, strong- and to the core of her being, full of _hate_.

He could sense it, feel it in the way she talked about Zarkon, her words seething with anger, her shoulders tight, rage and despair intermingling at the mere mention of his name. The way she spat _Galra_ as if it were a curse, more foul than any other.

None of which he could blame her for. If she wanted to turn it on him... so be it. He could handle it.

"So," the princess spoke, barely so much as looking back at him, "... _Keith_ , was it?"


	4. paladin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladin armor felt clunky, unfamiliar, _wrong_ \- restraining in ways that his Marmora armor did not. It fit perfectly, but it didn't suit him, making him feel ill at ease in his own skin, as if he were desperately trying to pretend to be something and someone he was not.
> 
> Which he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, here's the next chapter! With this one, we finally move past the realm of the first episode and will be picking up with the second episode in the coming chapter. So look forward to that!

"... _Keith_ , was it?"

Though she didn't turn around, she could still feel his eyes fixed on her back. They had been there, ever since she'd left the cryopod. At first, she chalked it up to her imagination, but the longer it went on, the more she was sure of it.

She was being watched.

Her and Coran, really. Even when they were on opposite sides of the room, he would position himself just so, so that he was able to keep an eye on them both at the same time. Never once did he turn his back on either of them- an underlying wariness to him. As if he didn't trust a word that was coming out of their mouths.

It wasn't as if she didn't understand. In fact, it made perfect sense, really it did. He and his companions had been sent hurtling across the galaxy in a ship the likes they had never seen before, and now were being told that they were chosen paladins, brought here to fight a war against an ancient empire that from the sound of it, most of them hadn't even known existed until today. That there would be some level of suspicion was perfectly natural, really it was.

If anything, she was rather surprised by how easily the other four had gone along with everything she'd said. Not so for this one- _Keith_ , she knew his name to be- who watched her as if he expected her to reveal some monstrous true form any second.

She could certainly understand it, but...

But she was starting to get a bit tired of being watched. His gaze was... almost a little unnerving, if she had to be honest. It reminded her of something, but of what, she had no idea, merely that it made her skin crawl.

Part of her was almost loathe to trust him- ridiculous, really. If he had been brought here as one of the five paladins of Voltron, then she needed to be able to trust him- and he needed to be able to trust _her_.

Perhaps all he needed was a bit of reassurance- a bit of convincing to ensure him that she was in no way lying to him, or trying to trick him and the others. Were she in his situation, she might very well be having the same reaction.

"Yeah," the boy's tone was curt, as to be expected, "It's Keith."

Well this already wasn't going very well, Allura decided.

"Ah." Momentarily, she wished that Coran hadn't left to check on the turbine- he was always better at this sort of thing that she was. There must be _something_ that they could talk about, she thought, racking her brain for a topic. "The planet you are from... where is it, exactly?"

"Can't say." Another curt response. "I'd have to know where _here_ is."

"A fair point." Allura observed. "Do tell me, what is it like?"

"What, Earth?" Keith asked.

"Yes, of course." Allura told him, wondering what else he could have possibly thought she meant. "If we are going to be fighting Zarkon together, I should at least try and get to know you all a bit better. What is this _Earth_ like?"

"I've only really known the desert." Keith supplied. "Can't really tell you much more about it than that."

"Ah." Allura said, a tight frown on her face. Perhaps Keith simply wasn't much of a conversationalist. Still, she wasn't out just yet. "There were no deserts on Altea."

"You're not missing much." Keith told her, and she could pick up on the sound of fabric shifting just so- he'd shrugged his shoulders. She hoped that perhaps he'd expand on that, however...

No such luck.

This... really wasn't going at all well, Allura quickly deduced. Resisting the urge to sigh, she instead collected herself. Well, if conversation wasn't working, then perhaps a show of good faith would.

"There is no need for you to stay here, you know." Though she only spared a glance in his direction, she found herself very quickly meeting his eyes. So he _was_ watching her. "It might be some time until I can locate the red lion. If you would like to take a look around the Castle in the meantime, you are more than welcome to do so."

Keith's gaze lingered on her for a moment longer- before he shrugged his shoulders again, pushing himself up from where he had been leaning against the wall. He didn't say another word to her- but he did seem to be taking up on her offer, leaving her alone on the bridge.

Well, at the very least, he wouldn't be watching her any longer. She'd seen the way that he had interacted with Shiro, so perhaps all that he needed was some time to warm up to her. Maybe once he got his lion, that would help.

Of course to do that, she first had to _find_ the red lion. Easier said than done, it would seem. Perhaps it was just the fact that the Castle had been sitting, gathering dust for the past ten thousand years, or perhaps the red lion was somewhere it's sensors couldn't locate it. Pursing her lips, she wondered if there was perhaps some way to hide it from her eyes- a rather unpleasant thing to consider, since she couldn't imagine any natural way that could have happened.

Not unless the red lion itself had closed itself off to her. But she couldn't think of any possible reason for it to do so, especially not with it's new paladin here.

_New_ paladin. She couldn't help but feel her heart ache at that, even as she tried to bury it deep, somewhere it couldn't hurt her. Out of all the lions, she was most loathe to hand the red lion over to someone new.

It had been her father's, once.

No longer.

She wondered if it would even take to it's new paladin. While she didn't doubt what she had sensed, Keith's personality... from what she could gather, it left her a little wanting. Really, almost all of the new paladins were young- almost painfully so, in the case of the new green paladin.

But they were the ones who had been brought here, after all this time. There must be meaning to it, she knew.

What else could they be, if not the new paladins of Voltron?

At least it seemed that they had someone who could truly lead them. She could only hope that Shiro would be strong enough to truly take command of the black lion- with Zarkon still alive, she couldn't say if his connection to it had truly been severed or not. It _should_ , given the terrible things that he had done, but she knew full well that the lion's bonds with their paladins simply did not work that way.

But all that would be for naught if she couldn't find the red lion. Without it, the black lion would remain sleeping in the Castle forever- and without it, Voltron could not be formed. Whatever the cost, she had to push forward.

She could only hope that these new paladins would be up to the task.

* * *

That... could have gone worse, he thought.

At the very least, he didn't detect anything in the princess' tone but simple curiosity. The conversation itself had been benign enough, so perhaps that was all it was, and his suspicions were nothing more than that- suspicions. Given how she'd spat out Zarkon's name with so much hate, he doubted that she'd be able to maintain such a civil tone with him if she suspected him to be Galra.

Still, it was too early to let his guard down. Though they were well hidden, blended into the architecture of the Castle, he was able to pick out the cameras that lined it's walls. There was still a chance that she was watching him through them, waiting to see what he would do when he thought he was on his own.

In his line of work, suspicion was a survival skill. Trust no one, until they had proven themselves beyond the shadow of doubt.

And sometimes not even then.

In any case, he couldn't risk contacting Kolivan just yet. He didn't know what kind of capabilities the Castle had, and there was still too much chance that his transmission could be picked up. There was always the option of leaving, but wandering too far away could rouse suspicion- and if he wasn't already suspected of anything, then he didn't want to give any cause to change that.

Relaxing his shoulders, Keith drew in a long breath. Kolivan would be furious with him, but perhaps the information would make up for it.

He wondered how Shiro was doing. Had they found the green lion yet?

...though maybe the ones he should be worried about were actually Hunk and Lance. The other Altean- _Coran_ \- had said that the planet he was sending them to was peaceful, but Keith knew otherwise. The Galra had a mining operation there- seeking ore for their ships.

Or perhaps more, if the yellow lion was there.

No, if Kolivan's intelligence had learned about the red lion's capture, then it was safe to believe the Galra Empire didn't know about the yellow lion's location just yet. Their mission was of a higher risk than Shiro's, but as a simple mining outpost, the planet wasn't exactly heavily fortified. With the blue lion with them...

Oh.

Right.

The blue lion.

Piloted by _Lance_.

Yeah, that... that was something to worry about.

* * *

"Keith?"

Allura's voice crackled over the intercom, making it clear that it hadn't been used once in the past ten thousand years.

"We need you on the bridge. We have located the red lion."

She sounded troubled. Keith didn't have to guess why.

"I am... afraid there is a _bit_ of trouble."

Unable to help himself, Keith's lips curled into a smile. That was one way of putting it.

* * *

The paladin armor felt clunky, unfamiliar, _wrong_ \- restraining in ways that his Marmora armor did not. It fit perfectly, but it didn't suit him, making him feel ill at ease in his own skin, as if he were desperately trying to pretend to be something and _someone_ he was not.

Which he was.

He was, but he'd gotten used to that- to having the face of a stranger, to people calling him by a name that was not his own. He'd had two years to get used to it, to become at ease with his deception.

And all it took was one look in the mirror to bring it all back again.

He'd forced himself to look away, drawing in a long, ragged breath, hoping that nobody noticed. They had a mission to accomplish, and he couldn't afford to let his emotions get in the way. Those were a luxury- a luxury that the Blade of Marmora couldn't afford.

(But he was a _paladin_ now- or was supposed to be one. Allura thought so, _Shiro_ thought so- it felt like the only one being honest about this whole thing was _Lance_.)

(At least they'd all soon realize the truth- that he was no paladin, just as he had.)

Even the weapon at his side felt unfamiliar. Allura had called it a bayard, a weapon that changed shape at the will of it's user. For a split second, he'd nearly formed it into a perfect mimic of his Marmoran blade, before he'd stopped himself short, forcing the sword that formed into a different style. Thankfully, everyone was so engrossed in their own bayards that nobody even noticed.

They knew where the red lion was, and they were going to get it. Fortunately, it was located on the very same Galra cruiser that had locked onto their signal.

Sendak- now _there_ was a name he knew, though he'd never crossed paths with him himself. He had a reputation in the empire, for being so thirsty for power, that he willingly let the Druids experiment on him. His second in command was Haxus- and while he might not have been as bad news as Sendak, he was still, indisputably, bad news.

At least he was back in his comfort zone, even if he was doing it in a clunky, unfamiliar suit of armor, in a body that provided him with limitations. He hadn't realized just how much he had been itching to run a mission- a _real_ mission- until the moment they stepped on board Sendak's ship. He could feel his blood almost sing- in anticipation, with excitement for what was to come.

It was hard not to let it show on his face.

The plan was to sneak a three man team onto Sendak's ship- him, Pidge, and Shiro. They'd locate the red lion, and then escape with it. Simple, clear cut, in and out, no problem. He'd done this kind of thing countless times before, knew the layout of your run of the mill Galra cruiser like the back of his hand.

There was nothing that could go wrong.

Other than the fact that he knew he wouldn't be able to pilot the red lion out of there. Maybe... maybe he could talk it into letting him get it off the ship, at least. It would probably rather let itself be piloted, however briefly, by a Galra rebel rather than allow itself to fall into Zarkon's hands.

From the way Allura talked about it, it had too much pride for that.

The plan, however, ran into a hitch not long after they had infiltrated the ship. When Shiro learned that this was the same ship he had been taken to after being captured, Pidge had insisted they go back for the prisoners, hoping that the other two members of the Kerberos mission might still be here.

( _This is war, and sometimes we have to make hard choices_ , Shiro had said at first, reminding him too much of Kolivan.)

Family. They were family.

No wonder they had been so insistent on asking after the crew, back on Earth. Somewhere out there, their father and brother were still in Zarkon's hands- if they were even still _alive_ , Keith thought grimly.

It was enough to get Shiro to relent. He would go with Pidge, and Keith was to go on to find the red lion, by himself. He wasn't about to put up a fight about it- if he was on his own, he could fight more freely than he could under watchful eyes.

Now all he needed to do was find the red lion.

There were only so many places on the ship it could be- all he needed to do was check them one by one. Which would be great, if he had all the time in the world, and was prepared for a stealth mission.

He didn't, and he wasn't. _Great_.

Letting out a long breath of air, Keith narrowed his eyes. He knew he should have told someone that Allura had made the wrong choice, but he hadn't. What could he possibly tell them? The truth? That he wasn't who he said he was, that he was Galra? He couldn't just give that up so easily.

Still, he had to try. Even if he didn't believe, the others did- and maybe that counted for something. And maybe... maybe there was a part of him, a small part of him, that almost hoped it _were_ true.

(His mother would be proud. Kolivan would be exasperated.)

They had said something about him being able to feel the red lion. It was worth a try- he'd picked up on the blue lion's energy in the desert after all, and he wasn't even it's paladin. One way or another, he was it's ticket out of here- so maybe it would trust him to that extent.

It started as a faint tug, at first, almost familiar. Trying to follow it's cast out thread, it came to him in a snap, his eyes flickering open. Turning on his heel, Keith cast his eyes down in the opposite direction, mentally mapping out the ship, trying to pinpoint where it had come from. One of the hangar bays- a place he had planned on checking anyways.

It was a good enough place to start. Making his way down the halls of the Galra cruiser, careful to avoid sentries and drones alike, Keith once more felt himself start to relax, the familiar tension of an infiltration mission almost calming. He hadn't realized just how out of his element he had been until now, and in a way, it was like coming home.

The hangar's doors were locked- but that wasn't much of a problem, not for him. Pressing his hand against the access panel, it beeped slightly, his hidden Galra blood enough to allow him to pass through. Heading into the hangar, it didn't take him long to locate the red lion- and for a moment, it was all he could do to suck in his breath at the sight of it.

They'd taken it, particle barrier and all, leaving it suspended inside of it. Slowly approaching it, he kept an ear out for any advancing sentries, well aware that there was a chance he could have tripped some kind of internal alarm. Right now, Sendak's attention would have been focused on the yellow and blue lions, but he shouldn't let his guard down.

Coming to a full stop in front of the red lion, Keith's eyes narrowed. You have to _earn_ it's respect, he'd been told- a more difficult feat than Allura could have ever imagined. He might be able to fool scanners of both earthly and Altean nature alike, but he got the feeling that the lions would be able to see right through him.

The blue lion had still let him in though, even so.

Seeing the red lion in person stirred something inside of him, he couldn't deny that. Maybe... maybe there was a chance after all? He could at least _try_.

Reaching up a hand, Keith placed it tentatively against the red lion's barrier, closing his eyes. For a long moment, nothing happened, half making him want to give up- the extent of his mission had been to keep the blue lion out of Zarkon's hands, nothing more. And he'd done that- the blue lion was now united with it's paladin. But with the red lion right in front of him, there was no way he could just let it slip from his grasp.

He'd seen all too well what Zarkon could do, what kind of power that he possessed. He'd seen countless Blades sacrifice themselves for the cause, all for one small piece of information. If he were allowed to get hold of the lions, even just one...

...then the entire universe falling to him wasn't impossible.

He couldn't- _wouldn't_ \- let Zarkon have the red lion. He'd taken so much, so much from him alone, that Keith wasn't willing to give him anything else.

That, it seemed, was enough.

(It's roar too, felt strangely of _home_.)

* * *

"Keith?"

He didn't respond at first, and for a split second, Shiro thought that perhaps all of today's excitement had caused him to momentarily forget his own alias. He couldn't blame him- just this morning, all five of them had been on Earth, and now they an impossible distance away from it.

A moment later though, he stirred. "Shiro?"

"Hey." Shiro grinned, turning his gaze to what Keith had been transfixed by. From this part of the Castle, one could see the stars- and though try as he might, Shiro couldn't pick out a single constellation that he knew. They really had come a long way from home. "Nice view, huh."

"Mm." Keith noted, falling back into the habit of using verbal cues, rather than words to express himself. Back during his first few months at the Garrison, he'd done it often, before seemingly training himself out of it. Shiro had never minded it, and Keith didn't bother to correct himself and use words instead when it was just him around.

"You're not sleeping?" Shiro asked. "I think aside from Allura, everyone else is already in bed."

"I'm not tired." Keith said.

It was probably true, Shiro knew. As much as he'd tried to break him of the habit during his time with him at the Garrison, even recruiting his roommates (numerous, many requests for transfer) in an effort to help, Keith still only slept for about four hours a day. He'd managed to get an extra half hour out of him, at best- but chances were, he'd relapsed since he'd...

...well, since he'd left.

"You should still get some sleep." Shiro observed. "It's been a long day."

"I've had longer." He'd said it without thinking. Shiro knew from the way his own words made him flinch, from the tight set of his lips after he'd realized, as if trying to seal his own mouth shut to keep him from saying anything more.

"I'll take your word for that." Shiro said simply, deciding not to push him. "So, ever think you'd be piloting a giant space cat?"

He'd hoped it'd get a laugh out of him- not the complex expression that was reflected back in those violet eyes of his. "It's probably just a fluke."

There it was, out in the open. Keith had buried it before, but Shiro couldn't shake the feeling that he'd thought Allura had made some kind of mistake when he'd assigned him the red lion. He'd wanted to talk to him about it, but with everything going on, there had never been a chance to.

He thought things turning out contrary to his expectations would make him happy. And it did, he could tell- but it also seemed to be weighing on him.

It reminded him once again how little he actually _knew_ about Keith.

"I'm not so sure about that." Shiro said. "The red lion doesn't sound like it's the type to make a mistake, not from the way Allura put it. Besides," giving Keith a chance to see his hand before he placed it on his shoulder, he gave him a smile, "...you did good today. I think we've got the beginnings of a good team."

There was a long pause there- and for a split second, Shiro swore that there was _guilt_ in those eyes. Then it was gone, and he was left to wonder if it had simply been his imagination.

"You're right, Shiro." Keith told him, getting to his feet. "I should try and get some sleep."

Shiro wanted to say something more, but instead merely smiled. "Alright then. I'll see you in the morning, Keith."

He recognized the small grunt in reply as meaning goodnight.

* * *

He was a paladin.

Him.

A paladin.

Allura had been right. She'd been right.

He still didn't know what to make of it, still trying to process the whole thing. It still didn't feel real.

He couldn't wrap his head around it. It had to be some kind of mistake, right? It _had_ to be- even as he heard a low hum from the red lion, reassurance that there had been no mistake. He tried to ask it why it had chosen _him_ \- but it gave him no answer, at least, not any that he could understand.

He'd been given a room in the Castle, all his own, but he went past it, heading down into Red's hangar. Finding his way into the cockpit, he took a seat at the controls, closing his eyes and drawing in a long breath.

They'd even formed Voltron.

He couldn't wrap his head around that either.

And while it had been... strangely joyous, in a way, it still came with it's fair share of guilt. He was the red paladin now- a paladin of Voltron. What would that mean for his future? He couldn't put off reporting to Kolivan forever- he needed to know what was going on, and his loyalty was always first and foremost to the Blade of Marmora.

If it came down to it, he would choose the Blade over Voltron. It was his home, they were his family- he'd been born and raised there, trained from the day he could walk.

Would there come a time when he'd have to choose between the two? What would Kolivan have to say to this, to any of this? Would he call him back right away, or would he have him stay, continue his work here? Continue wearing this false face, or chance revealing himself for what he really was?

Would he become a spy for him, just as he had been on Earth?

It was a thought that made his gut churn. Shiro had said that they had the beginnings of a good team- but for a team to work, they had to have no secrets between each other. And here he was, almost everything about him a lie.

Because he knew if Kolivan asked him to, he would say yes.

(First and foremost, he was a Blade.)


	5. lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd gotten a bad feeling the moment a cheerful _'this should help!'_ left her lips. For a brief moment, his thoughts flashed back to Antok- and that was never a good sign.
> 
> (He wasn't sure what the Altean princess would think if she were to learn that she had the same definition of _inspiring_ as a Galran rebel. Best not to tell her.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, here's chapter four! As mentioned we're in the realm of the second episode now, and we also pretty much wrap up it's canon events in this chapter. Whether or not we'll get to any events from the third episode in the next chapter remains to be seen until I, uh, you know... actually write it. Oh Keith, you keep making terrible life choices and internalizing all your problems.
> 
> Until next time!

If the blaring alarm didn't wake him, then falling out of his chair sure as hell did.

Groaning, Keith raised a hand to his head, already feeling it throb from where he'd landed on it. He didn't even remember falling asleep, and it took him longer than he'd like to admit to place where exactly he was.

He'd fallen asleep in the red lion. Ugh, no wonder he was sore. Human bodies got stiff so easily.

Even from inside of the red lion's cockpit, he could hear the alarms, and the call to the bridge that came with it. Lips set in a tight line, Keith's eyes narrowed, grumbling to himself as he leapt out of the cockpit from the red lion's mouth. He didn't expect Zarkon's forces to sit still for very long, but they were _already_ launching another attack?

"Oh no, it's horrible! Allura is dead! Her head fell off!"

...or not, Keith thought, arching a brow. This was a drill, then.

They'd almost sold it too, until Allura had let Coran take charge of the broadcast. Her severed head, trying to speak to him? He didn't know much about Altean biology, but he was pretty sure if their severed heads could talk, Zarkon wouldn't have been able to wipe them all out ten thousand years ago.

Letting out a faint snort in spite of himself as Coran's theatrics got... well, even more theatric, Keith made his way to the bridge. Was _anyone_ even still buying this?

Apparently not. By the time he reached the bridge, Shiro was already there, ready in full paladin armor, a bemused expression on his face. Pidge scurried in moments after him, and from the way they cracked their joints when they realized there was nothing actually wrong, he guessed that they'd fallen asleep sitting up, same as him. Hunk was the last to stray in, still half asleep and in pajamas.

Lance didn't even bother to show. _Shocker_.

Suffice to say, Allura was not at all happy. Where Kolivan's anger was cool, she practically _seethed_ with it- and yet, even still, managed to hold some level of composure. Lance, when he finally decided to show up, got the burnt of it, but it was clear that her displeasure extended to all of them- save for Shiro.

Well, that was what she got for getting a bunch of children to fight a war for her.

(Okay, so _technically_ , he'd failed too, by virtue of not showing up in armor. But he was ignoring that.)

He couldn't say that she wasn't ambitious, though. Free _all_ of the planets that Zarkon had conquered? In _this_ lifetime? The Blade of Marmora had been fighting against his reign for centuries, and they'd barely put a _dent_ in it. He couldn't tell if she was simply foolish, or if she just had that much faith in Voltron.

Voltron, something that she knew just as well as he did that they'd only managed to form by complete fluke yesterday. Maybe she wasn't that foolish after all.

Today's agenda, it seemed, was going to be training. He'd been hoping to send a transmission to Kolivan today, but it looked like for the time being, he was going to have to put that on hold.

Well, maybe he could at least find out if his connection with the red lion had been real or not. It hadn't spat him out overnight, so maybe it wasn't actually just a fluke.

He still wasn't sure how he felt about it- about being the red paladin, a member of Voltron. It came with too many problems, and he was at the dead center of just about _all_ of them.

Everything he knew about Voltron told him that the key to it was the bond between the paladin and their lion, which... sure, he could manage, provided yesterday hadn't been a fluke. He didn't doubt the red lion already knew that he wasn't what he appeared to be, but had decided to let him in anyways so... no real issues there. But from the sound of it, it _also_ depended on one's bond with their fellow paladins- of honesty and trust, both of which he had in short supply.

It _definitely_ meant that you couldn't lie.

And yet here he was, entirely made up of lies.

None of them even knew his name- his _real_ name.

Still, he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. It was either expose himself as a Galra spy here, and face the considerable consequences, or do his best to bury his truth so deep that nobody could see past his lies. Squaring his shoulders, Keith resigned himself to the latter, and all that it entailed.

Clunky armor and all.

(And _zip lines_ , apparently. Who the hell thought zip lines were a good idea?)

* * *

Naive, strong, foolish, and absolutely _out of her mind_.

He'd gotten a bad feeling the moment a cheerful ' _this should help!_ ' left her lips. For a brief moment, his thoughts flashed back to Antok- and that was never a good sign.

(He wasn't sure what the Altean princess would think if she were to learn that she had the same definition of _inspiring_ as a Galran rebel. Best not to tell her.)

This had, so far, been the most trying day of his life.

And that _included_ the time he'd had to fly through the middle of a firefight in open space with nothing more than a jet pack.

If there was one good thing about this all, it was the fact that he'd learned the Castle had a training deck. He'd had no one to practice with in the past two years of living on Earth, and he'd been itching for a serious partner. If this thing had drones, it probably had other things for him to fight, just like the ones on the Marmora base- and he couldn't wait to try them all out.

Especially after how _humiliating_ his defeat at the hands of said drones had been. He'd felt like a proper youngling again!

All _Lance's_ fault, of course.

(He'd gotten him back with the invisible maze, all while pretending he didn't know what Lance was going on about. He definitely wasn't doing it on purpose, not a chance.)

(He totally was.)

And then he'd done it _again_ , causing him to crash into the desert during the flight exercise. Okay, sure, maybe it was his fault for letting him rile him up in the first place, but _come on_ \- him, lose to a human? A human that was _Lance_? There was no way.

Ugh. It was a good thing that there weren't any fellow Blades around to see this. He felt like his pride was in shreds. Thace and Ulaz might be understanding, but Antok and Regris? They'd never let it go.

He was better than this- he really was!

"Now, for our next exercise," Coran was speaking, but frankly, Keith was half drowning him out at this point, "...is vital to creating a strong bond between the five of you. We'll be linking your minds!"

And suddenly, Keith was listening again.

Jerking his head up, his eyes went wide. Wait one second, what did he _mean_ , linking their minds? Keith could kind of hazard a guess, but he couldn't possibly...

Oh no. No, _no_ , **no**. On the list of bad ideas, that was on the top. If someone dug too deep and saw something they weren't supposed to... that would not end well. At all.

"No." He actually wasn't aware that he'd said it out loud at first, not until Shiro reacted to it. Well, too late now, time own it. "No, I am not doing that."

"Keith-" Shiro began.

"I'm with Keith on this one." Pidge agreed, cutting him off. "I don't want anyone else rooting around in my brain."

"Oh it's not so bad, really." Coran piped up, and Keith dimly realized that he and Pidge were the only ones who hadn't taken one of the circlets. "Besides, it's all part of forming Voltron. There's no secrets between paladins!"

"He's right." Shiro told him- _them_ , Keith thought, casting a glance over towards Pidge, only to find that they were looking at him too. "This is important, you two. I know it's not exactly ideal, but..."

"The answer's _no_." Pidge was firm, narrowing their eyes. "I'm not doing it, Shiro."

Well, at least he wasn't alone in this. He'd just look suspicious otherwise. Briefly, he found himself wondering about what _Pidge_ could be hiding that would cause them to react so vehemently about this. "Sorry Shiro, but this is one exercise I'm going to have to sit out."

"But you can't!" Coran insisted. "This is an exercise that requires all five paladins, not just three of them! Team building, you know!"

"Yeah, come on." Lance piped up. "What do you have to hide anyways, mullet, your hair care secrets? You don't have to worry about that, they're obvious to anyone who hasn't washed their hair in seven days."

" _Lance_." Shiro's tone was stern. Letting out a long sigh, he rested a hand on his helmet, before locking eyes with Keith. "You really can't do this?"

"I-" Opening his mouth and then shutting it, Keith felt his brow furrow. Did... did Shiro suspect something? He had been held captive by the Galra for the past year, so maybe there was something he'd noticed that the others might miss, but...

"I can't." Keith said firmly. "Sorry. There has to be other team building exercises we can do."

"Well there are, but..." Coran frowned, turning his attention back to Pidge. "What about you, Number Five? Still a no go?"

"If Keith's not doing it, I don't see any reason why _I_ should." Pidge told him, folding their arms in front of their chest. "He's not special."

"Didn't say I was." Keith hissed, narrowing his eyes. What the hell was that even about? As far as he knew, they were both on the same page, so what were they getting angry at _him_ about?

He didn't think he'd ever fully understand humans.

"Now, now, calm down you two." Shiro said, heaving a long sigh. "Sorry Coran, but it looks like this one's a no go. We can try again some other time, maybe."

"Well..." Coran hesitated for a moment, looking as if he was going to insist for half a second. "I'd really rather you did it, but I can see that things seem a bit... _tense_ right now. So maybe we should all just take a nice little break, and get back to things once we've cooled down a bit."

"That sounds like a plan." Shiro said, taking off his own circlet, and handing it back to him. "Keith, why don't you come with me for a second? We should talk."

Keith felt himself stiffen. _Did_ he know something? He hadn't let anything on yesterday, so had something changed between now and then? "What about Pidge?"

"Not Pidge, just you." Shiro told him, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It won't take long."

Opening his mouth, Keith just as quickly shut it again, dropping his eyes away from him. If he suspected something, then maybe it would be for the best if he came clean with him. Shiro... Shiro was different from the others. Sure, he'd been captured by the Galra, but he'd been saved by one too- and while he didn't remember, maybe if he dropped Ulaz's name, that would spark something, just like being back on Sendak's ship had.

Maybe he'd actually hear him out.

"Alright," Drawing in a breath, Keith looked up at him. "...let's talk."

* * *

"You alright, Keith?"

Keith blinks, if only because that's not the question he expected Shiro to ask.

"I'm... fine?" Hesitating for half a second, he internally winces at the uncertainty in his voice. "I thought you wanted to talk about something, Shiro?"

"And I do." Shiro told him, the smile on his face one of those calm, patient ones that he'd many occasions with which to become familiar. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay first."

"Oh." Keith blinked again, his brows furrowing. Maybe this wasn't about what he thought it was. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"It just seemed like kind of a touchy subject for you." Shiro told him.

"It..." Keith paused, lips twisting in a frown. From the sound of it, Shiro didn't suspect him like he'd thought. He doubted he'd be speaking to him with such _concern_ , if that were the case- not after everything the Galra did to him. "Maybe? I don't know. I just don't want other people prodding around in my head."

There was a long pause between the two of them, a silence that drowned out the faint sounds of chatter in the distance. Shifting his weight onto his right foot, Keith found himself carefully studying Shiro, his eyes falling on his Galra prosthetic before long.

"Does it hurt?"

"My arm?" Shiro asked, lifting up his right arm. "Sometimes."

"I'm sorry." Looking away, Keith couldn't help but apologize. He'd nothing to do with it, but maybe if he'd said something back then, had warned him not to go... then this wouldn't have happened. "You shouldn't have had to go through all that."

"It's not your fault, Keith." Shiro told him, carefully placing his hand- his _real_ hand- on his shoulder. "I feel like I should be the one telling _you_ that."

That got Keith's attention, jerking his head up to look Shiro in the eyes. There was an almost strangely... _understanding_ look in them, and for a moment, Keith could only be baffled by it. It was enough to make him slightly uncomfortable, to shift just so, letting the older man's hand slip from his shoulder.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Look, Keith." Shiro began, not moving to touch him again. "I've suspected it for awhile now, and-"

_Suspected what_? Keith thought, alarm bells once more going off in his head.

"...and it's _okay_. Pretty much the first thing the commander in charge told me when I took charge of your mentorship back at the Garrison was that you were probably a runaway."

Runa- _oh_.

Runaway. It was a concept that he was familiar with, though he guessed the context with which Shiro was using it was a bit different than what he was thinking of. Some Blades were born into the resistance, as he was, but others still came to them, fleeing from the empire for one reason or another.

And Shiro thought... thought that he was one of these... _runaways_? Not from the Galra Empire, but rather...

He didn't understand much about humans, but he knew enough to know that when they ran away, it was usually from something much closer and far more personal than a tyrannical emperor.

"Keith?"

Snapping back into reality, Keith realized that Shiro had been waiting for him to say something. Shifting his weight back onto his left foot, he narrowed his eyes, racking his brain for how to reply. He didn't know it, but he'd just handed him a convenient cover story- and the part of him that was loathe to take advantage of it was much smaller than the part that wanted to seize this chance.

Unsurprisingly, the larger part won out.

"I don't like to talk about it."

"I'd imagine." Shiro said- and the sympathy in his voice nearly made Keith wince. He was taking advantage of that, right now. "You don't have to, not until you're ready."

"So... no mind linking?" Keith asked, chancing a look up at him, hoping that what little guilt he had didn't show plain as day on his face.

"No mind linking." Shiro repeated, patting him on the shoulder. "Just know that there's no one here who would think any less of you for it."

Eyes falling, Keith forced himself not to draw back. He'd embraced this lie- there was no going back on it now.

"Yeah," and it was clear from his tone that he didn't believe him, not one bit, "...sure. If you say so, Shiro."

Like _hell_ they wouldn't.

* * *

And he'd thought that today couldn't have possibly gotten any more embarrassing.

That was before he'd lost to an Altean training gladiator, set at a level for an Altean _child_.

Sure, sure, he hadn't been the only one fighting it- all five of them had. If he'd been on his own, Keith had grumbled to himself, he would have beaten it _just fine_.

At least Hunk had _apologized_ for accidentally shooting him. _Lance_ , on the other hand, hadn't said one word about getting in his way.

(Okay so fine, he'd been _thrown_ in his way, but would an apology really kill him?)

On top of all that, getting into something like... like a _food fight_ , he'd heard someone call it. There was just so much of today that he didn't want to ever have to speak of, ever again.

Sure, sure, he had to report to Kolivan, but it wasn't like he needed to _know_ any of those things. What was that Earth phrase... what you don't know can't hurt you? Or was it _kill you_?

(Earthlings always did have a flair for the dramatic.)

Ugh, whichever one it was, he was going to go with that policy towards well... most, if not all, of today's training. The only thing that really mattered was it's result- that they had somehow managed to form Voltron.

(By bonding over a food fight. Sure, okay.)

And he didn't think it was a fluke this time.

So much for being unable to keep secrets from each other. Granted, Keith doubted it was really that easy- but what he didn't have to deal with now, he could deal with later.

Or, you know, never at all. That was the more tempting option.

But there was one thing that he knew he couldn't put off any longer- and that was filing his report with Kolivan.

"You heading out, Keith?"

He nearly froze at the sound of the voice, grumbling internally about how none of them would be able to sneak up on him if it weren't for these infernal human ears he was stuck with. Still, once he saw who it was- only just Hunk, Keith relaxed somewhat.

"Yeah. Just thought I'd take a look around, you know." Keith told him, having already prepared an easy lie just for this situation. "Alien planet and all."

"You sure?" Hunk asked. "Cause I know Coran said that Arus is peaceful and all, but like... he said that about the planet the yellow lion was on too, and look how well that worked out."

"I mean, you got it, didn't you? " Keith asked.

"Yeah, true, true. Thought I was going to die, but true." Hunk nodded. "Still, you should like... take your bayard or something. Just in case, you know?"

"I have a knife." Keith stated simply.

"Oh right. Knife." Hunk repeated. "I forgot about that."

A pause.

"Why _do_ you have a knife anyways?" Hunk asked.

"I lived in the desert." Keith quickly supplied, coming up with the first thing he could think of.

"Didn't you like... have the knife _before_ you went to live in the desert?" Hunk asked. "I mean, not that there's anything _wrong_ with having a knife, some people just like having knives, I get it, I do. It's just that Lance would always make a big deal out of it, you know. Back in the old Garrison days."

For a moment, Hunk almost looked wistful, and Keith didn't have the heart to tell him that was literally _yesterday_.

"It's... it's a family thing." Keith said after a moment, scrunching his nose together as he tried to put it in a way that wouldn't raise huge red flags. "My... ah, my uncle," and he could almost _feel_ Kolivan's exasperation from here when he said that, "...gave it to me."

"Uncle, right." Hunk said, nodding his head. "Cool. I mean... a knife isn't a present I would give to my nephew, if I like... _had_ a nephew, which I _don't_ , but..."

"It's okay Hunk." Keith told him, finding himself amused by all this in spite of himself. "Anyways, I'll be fine. I'll be back before dinner."

"Cool, gotcha." Hunk said, frankly looking relieved that Keith had cut him off. "I'll tell Allura or Shiro if they ask."

"Thanks." Keith told him, flashing him for what passed for a smile.

It seemed to work, since Hunk left him alone after that. Letting out a breath, Keith felt his shoulders slump, before he spun on his heel, choosing to make a quick exit from the Castle before anyone else could stop him. The last thing he needed was for someone to drag him back inside.

Or decide to come with him.

He still hadn't had the chance to determine all of the Castle's capabilities, but if he got far enough away from it, he could send a transmission without being detected. Once it took off, he'd have to find another means to send them- or just figure out to bypass any interception methods that the Altean ship might have.

Putting some distance between him and the Castle, Keith set to his work. Scouting out a spot from which to send it from, double and triple checking the area to make sure there was no one around, he perched himself on a fallen log. He could see the Castle from here, knowing that Kolivan would likely want to see it with his own eyes.

Drawing in a long breath, Keith steeled himself. His leader wouldn't be happy with him, for any number of things.

But well... when was Kolivan _ever_ happy with him?

(Or ever happy at all.)


	6. loyalties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't the only reason that Kolivan had decided to send him to the farthest reaches of space, but it was among them. On a small, backwater planet like Earth, the chances that he could find himself any lasting trouble were second to none. Perhaps he'd even learn something from the experience.
> 
> Instead he had developed an attachment to one of the Earthlings, continued to defy direct orders, and then had disappeared into thin air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Keith Makes Bad Life Choices the fanfic, here's the fifth chapter where Keith makes bad choices, pretends his feelings aren't what they are, and has a bit more of his AU-specific backstory exposed. Also, Kolivan is there.

The youngling took too much after his mother.

That was both a good and a bad thing, Kolivan knew. Good, for it meant that he took almost nothing from his father, and good, for it meant that he possessed all of her best traits. She was a fierce warrior, and that spirit was something that she had passed on to her son. She had a fierce loyalty, and so too, did her child.

Bad, for it meant that he got all of her worst traits just the same.

Headstrong, reckless, and wont to disobey orders, with an attraction for trouble that just seemed to get stronger with age. If anything, the latter seemed compounded in her son, as if it were trying to compensate for his small size. And while he was certainly glad to see that the health issues that had plagued his younger years were now a thing of the distant past, sometimes Kolivan half wished them back, if only to keep the boy from running headlong into danger based on some vague instinct.

( _Kyix_ , she had named him upon his birth, her chest swelling with pride.)

When Krolia had first brought him to their base, a runt smaller than any Kolivan had ever seen, none of them had thought he'd actually make it. Certainly none of them could have imagined that he would one day pass the Trial of Marmora, not when merely breathing on his own had been such a chore in his first few weeks of life. If he had been born into the Empire, he surely wouldn't have survived, Kolivan knew.

Useless, _weak_ \- an infection, by Zarkon's standards. They wouldn't have even given him a chance. They'd have discarded him- or _worse_.

Instead he'd lived- lived to become a handful. What he lacked in stature, he made up for in fierceness- which often lead him to trouble. Ever since he had joined the order proper, very few of his missions had gone according to plan- and usually the one to throw a wrench in them was Kyix himself.

None of them had ever _failed_ \- not in the broadest sense of the term. It was something that Kyix wore as a badge of pride.

Kolivan feared it would get the better of him one day. He'd watched the child grow, and could not entirely deny that he had a fondness for him- but even that would not change things. He knew, just as well as any Blade did, that no one would come for him should he fail.

Knowledge or death.

It wasn't the _only_ reason that Kolivan had decided to send Kyix to the farthest reaches of space, but it was among them. On a small, backwater planet like Earth, the chances that he could find himself any lasting trouble were second to none. Perhaps he'd even learn something from the experience.

Instead he had developed an attachment to one of the Earthlings, continued to defy direct orders, and then had disappeared into thin air.

Absolutely, completely nothing out of the ordinary for him.

There were two things about this situation, however, that Kolivan absolutely did not miss. First and foremost, was that very shortly after he'd vanished, there started to be more chatter about _Voltron_ \- and no small amount of it. Most of it was heavily encoded- which made it all the more vital to decode it, and quickly.

The second, less important, but still worth noting, was that before Kyix had switched off his transmitter, it had pinged him as being located on _Arus_.

A planet several galaxies away from Earth.

And that, even for Kyix, was something that was quite the feat.

He'd half a mind to send Antok out on the next transport to go pick him up and drag him back to the base, but he knew that in good time, Kyix would contact him on his own. Abandoning his mission to turn tail and run was too out of character for him, so whatever reason he had for being so far from Earth, it would be worth hearing out. Patience was something of which Kolivan had no short supply of, but even then, sometimes the youngling tested his.

When his transmitter finally came online again, a good day later, it's location hadn't changed. It was still, very much, on Arus.

Arus, where a Galra cruiser had recently gone down- one that the empire was rather mum in regards as to what it was doing there, and what destroyed it. Commander Sendak's ship, Kolivan knew, and he could only hope that his ship had taken him down with it. It would be one less to deal with, and Sendak, especially, had always been on the Blade's list of primary targets.

(But though Kolivan was many things, _optimistic_ was not one of them. He very much doubted it.)

When the youngling finally contacted him, Kolivan took the communication in private. A precautionary measure- he trusted nearly all of those within the confines of their main base, but there were certain advantages to having an agent on the field with a face that not many others knew. The human appearance that Kyix had taken on might find itself with more uses in the future, should he ever finish his current mission.

His nature as a runt, which proved him ill suited to any deep cover missions within Zarkon's forces, in turn proved useful for infiltrating the human race. What was far too small for a Galra was of average height for a human, and out of all his members, he would have the most success at adapting to a human form.

That was the other, more practical, reason Kolivan had chosen to send him, above any others.

In hindsight, perhaps it had still not been the best choice. A more experienced agent would have never let their own emotions interfere with their mission. He'd lost a valuable position all due to his attachment to the human known as Shiro- that temper of his was going to get him into serious trouble one of these days.

Still, though he'd lost his valuable position, he'd nevertheless picked up on the lead that they had been searching for. His sensitivity to ambient energies hadn't been a part of the reasons that Kolivan had chosen him, but had seemed to prove useful nonetheless. With proper training, it could become a skilled asset- but there were none amongst the Blades with the proper knowledge of such things.

(Even in his own mother, it had skipped a generation, and with her own mother long since perished, there was no one left to develop the youngling's talent.)

(The druids, maybe, but those puppets of Haggar were foul beasts to the last. He'd sooner whet his blade with them, than allow them anywhere _near_ the youngling.)

The face that appeared on the other side of the screen was one Kolivan had grown used to seeing- and had learned to gauge very well. Though he was his only point of comparison, he was fairly confident in saying that Kyix masked his emotions even worse in this human form- they seemed to be a more expressive lot than the Galra as a whole.

(They reminded him of _Alteans_ , in a way- a strange thing to say, as they had long since been dead before even his grandfather's grandfather was born.)

" _Kyix_ ," he began, stressing his name to indicate the depth of his displeasure, "I trust you have something worthwhile to report."

"Well," and true to what he knew of the youngling, there wasn't a trace of guilt in his voice, "...how's a ten thousand year old Altean castle-ship for one?"

* * *

It was not often that he got the opportunity to stun Kolivan into silence, so Keith couldn't help but savor every chance he got. And to think, this time hadn't even involved any kind of egregious stunt on his part.

Granted, it didn't show on his face- it never did. But Keith knew- he'd grown up around Kolivan, and could read the man just as easily as he could read him.

(Okay, maybe not _that_ easily. But that was only because Kolivan's ability to read him was uncanny.)

"Your mission was to locate the blue lion." Kolivan noted. "But an Altean castle-ship is of no small interest to us as well. We were under the impression that they had all long since been destroyed."

"Well, not this one." Keith supplied, careful to keep his voice low, just loud enough for Kolivan to hear. He doubted that there was anyone on this planet that could understand Galran, but there was risk enough being caught speaking it alone. "And as for locating the blue lion... I've done that, and more."

"You have located it's paladin?" Kolivan asked, not even missing a beat. Internally, Keith couldn't help but grumble- what was the point of all this if he could just see right through him? "That _is_ worthy of note. An Earthling?"

"A human." Keith nodded. "A cadet of the Galaxy Garrison. It brought us here, to Arus."

"To the castle-ship." Kolivan finished, looking thoughtful. He also looked like he wanted to ask what he had been doing with a human in the first place, to have discovered the blue lion with him- but it seemed he wasn't going to press on that subject, at least not _yet_. "There is more."

It was a statement, not a question.

"There is." Keith told him frankly. "The blue lion was not the only lion of Voltron located, nor the only one to find it's paladin. Koli-," he began, cutting himself off and quickly making a correction- it was something he had indulged when he was still a youngling, but now that he was a proper member of the order, no longer. "... _leader_."

"All the lions have been found."

"And their paladins as well." Kolivan finished, drawing that much from his earlier statement. For a moment, the imposing Galra fell into silence, one which Keith knew better than to break. "This is valuable information, youngling. You have done well."

Keith had to fight the urge to twitch, even as part of him beamed at the praise. Even now, he was still calling him _youngling_. He would have thought that locating all the lions of Voltron would have made him more of an adult in Kolivan's eyes.

"But you have more to give." Kolivan sensed.

"Yes." Keith told him, brushing aside his feelings for the moment. The report wasn't anywhere near finished. "The Altean princess lives."

A long pause, and for the span of a second, he wondered if Kolivan even believed him.

"Princess Allura?"

"Yes." Keith said, giving him a curt nod, unsurprised that he knew of her name. "She and another Altean, Coran, have been asleep in the castle-ship for the past ten thousand years. When the blue lion returned to it, they awoke. She wasted no time in locating the other four lions, including the red lion that Zarkon's forces had captured."

"Zarkon would not be pleased to hear this." Kolivan mused.

"Zarkon already knows." Keith told him, narrowing his eyes. "Seeing as I- _we_ \- stole the red lion back."

"Sendak's ship." Another statement, Keith knew. "The one that went down over Arus."

"That's the one." Keith supplied- and he couldn't help but preen a little. "Destroyed by _Voltron_."

Another long, considering silence. Kolivan was capable of making quick decisions when it was needed, but when there was time, he would take it to deeply consider whatever new piece of information he might have obtained. And this was a _considerable_ piece of information.

"The new paladins." Kolivan finally spoke. "Tell me of them."

"Earthlings." Keith told him. "Other than the red lion's."

There was another long, considering look in Kolivan's eyes. Yet somehow, not as much surprise as he thought there would be. "You?"

"It would seem." Keith told him, hoping he masked the hesitation in his voice well enough. Not that there was any point- Kolivan knew him well enough to see right through it. "It chose me."

And for the span of half a second, Keith swore he saw something of a genuine fondness surface in Kolivan's eyes- before it vanished as if it had never been there. It was easy to forget, sometimes, that he'd had no small hand in raising him. "Your mother would be proud of you, Kyix."

In spite of himself, Keith preened at the comment, sensing it was not only his mother who would be proud, but tried not to fix himself too much on it. He'd other things to ask.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me where she is, in exchange for going above and beyond my mission?" Keith asked, not even bothering to disguise the hopeful note in his voice.

"You know I cannot." Kolivan told him, with the tone of a man asked the same question a thousand times. "Her mission is too important to risk being compromised."

Well, it was worth a shot, Keith thought to himself. Who knew- if he was going to take the fight to Zarkon, maybe he'd find her first. Wouldn't she be surprised if she saw him like this.

(She'd recognize him, he didn't have any doubt.)

"I understand." Keith said. "Leader, what is it that you wish me to do from here? Should we extend an alliance to the Altean princess?"

"Do you believe she would accept one?" Kolivan asked.

"I..." Keith began, recalling the vehemence with which she'd spoken Zarkon's name. "No. She is... the hurt is still fresh to her, and it may cloud her judgement. I do not think she would be willing to accept an alliance with any Galra, nor would she even entertain it."

"Then the answer is no." Kolivan said simply. "The Blade of Marmora has acted in secret for centuries. It is how we have managed to survive this long. Allying with Voltron would draw too much attention to us, and put the members of our order at risk. We cannot afford to chance that."

"I understand." Keith said, giving him another curt nod. "What should I do? Stay?"

It wasn't as if Kolivan could exactly replace him, not on this. A Blade could easily be replaced if lost, but the same could not be said of a paladin of Voltron. At the same time, he couldn't deny the deep yearning in him to leave it all behind, to return to where he belonged, to return to his _home_ \- to become _himself_ again, as opposed to the lie that was _Keith Kogane_.

He didn't belong here, among humans and Alteans alike.

"If you are the red paladin, then there is no question in the matter." Kolivan said, making it all sound so simple. "Has your identity been at all compromised?"

"No." Shaking his head, Keith stiffened. He knew what was to come next. "They all still think I'm human, like them. I... don't think the princess would take it too kindly if she knew there was a Galra flying her father's lion."

Understatement of the deca-pheeb, Keith dimly noted.

"See to it that it stays that way." Kolivan advised him. "You are to keep me informed of the activities of Voltron and it's paladins, as well as those of the Altean princess. Voltron's appearance will mean that Zarkon will be distracted- we may be able to use this to our advantage."

"You want me to spy on them?" Keith asked.

"Yes." Kolivan told him, cut and dry.

He knew it would be coming, but if he had to be perfectly honest, he still hadn't been entirely ready for it. The absolute frankness was not the least bit unlike Kolivan, but for him to state as much in such unequivocal terms...

Drawing in a long breath, Keith steeled himself. He'd known that it would come to this, and beyond that, had already come to terms with it. He might be a paladin of Voltron now, but his loyalties would first and foremost always be with the Blade of Marmora. Allura might rule the castle-ship, and Shiro might lead Voltron, but Kolivan would always be his leader.

And defy him on occasion as he might, Keith would never turn his back on him. Every order that he defied was for the sake of the Blade- doing something that completely went against them would be the same as stabbing his own mother in the back.

So if he wanted him to be his eyes and ears inside Voltron, if he wanted him to _spy_... well, so be it.

"I understand." Keith finally said. "I accept this mission."

And if he had to be honest... he didn't feel as guilty about it as he thought he would, now that it was all for certain. It had been worse, before, when it had still been a possibility looming over him- but over the course of the day, he'd had time to come to terms with it. He disliked the idea of lying to Shiro, but as for the others... he barely knew them.

As long as he didn't get attached, it wouldn't become a problem. And he wouldn't. He'd spent two years on Earth without becoming close to any other humans, he failed to see any reason why that would change now. Shiro, clearly, was the exception to the rule.

He'd work with them, but otherwise, he'd keep his distance. To Lance and Hunk, who remembered him from his time at the Garrison, it would be nothing unusual- to them, he'd always been that way. Pidge, who had never met him before this, wouldn't have anything else to compare it to.

Only Shiro might notice. But Shiro had his own ideas about him, and as long as he played along with them... it would work.

As for Allura... though he could understand where she came from, he didn't think he could ever truly get along with someone who spat the name of Galra like a curse. Maybe she'd understand, one day, that all Galra were not Zarkon, but until that time came, the more distance he put between himself and her, the better.

(He had no idea about Coran. He seemed... harder to pin down.)

He would be a Blade first, and paladin second. Nothing would change that. _No one_ would change that.

And... it wouldn't entirely be like he was betraying them. He wasn't spying on them for the Empire or anything. They had the same mutual enemy- Zarkon. For all he knew, the intelligence that he gathered might one day lead to a real alliance between their forces, in spite of what Kolivan had said earlier.

Having a Blade by their side, even if they didn't know it, would be a good thing. It meant he could try and steer them away from the more dangerous segments of space, things they were in no way ready for. In time, with practice, perhaps they would shape up, but as things stood now, they were sorely wanting in any number of categories.

He could help with that. He could train them. He knew how Zarkon's solders fought, knew what their weak points were. And if he happened to provide information about them to an outside force, well... it would all balance out, in the end.

(Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself it would.)

"Good." Kolivan spoke, and somehow, his tone seemed far more stern than it always was. "We have much to discuss."

Keith nodded. "I've yet to have the chance to properly scout out the castle-ship. I will make it a priority in the coming days."

"See that you do. Send me all that you learn." Kolivan instructed. "As for the remaining paladins... what do you know of them?"

"Three Galaxy Garrison cadets, and," if he was going to do this for him, then he had the right to know, "...the _Champion_."

The hiss to his voice must have sounded quite pathetic to Kolivan's ears, but he did not miss the faint way in which it caused his eyes to narrow. He'd _known_ , Keith realized. He'd known, and he'd said nothing.

"There was nothing that could be done about the Earthling's plight. It was better that you didn't know." Kolivan told him simply- and some part of Keith knew that he was right. "Do not allow your attachment to him to cloud your judgement."

"Ulaz freed him." Keith pointed out. "Clearly there was something that you could have done."

"Ulaz acted against orders. You know this." Kolivan said. "As a result, he has exposed himself to the empire."

"I know." Gritting his teeth, Keith nevertheless felt his shoulders slump. "I know, I do."

Ah. That's right, though.

"One of the other paladins- Pidge, the paladin of the green lion," Keith began, "...the other two humans captured by Zarkon, they're his family. He may- no- he _will_ try to search for them. If the Blade has any intelligence-"

"We do not." Kolivan cut him off, his voice firm. "Do not let your emotions cloud your judgement."

Keith didn't miss the undertone of _I literally_ _ **just**_ _said this_.

"I'm not letting them cloud my judgement." Keith huffed. "They might cloud _his_ judgement though. He could put himself at risk, and get himself killed, and then we'll be one paladin short and unable to form Voltron."

Kolivan seemed to relent at that, if only a little. "We will keep our eyes open for any humans. I can promise you nothing more, Kyix."

Giving him a firm nod, Keith accepted it. This wasn't a matter of attachment- it was just... he'd gotten back the person who was important to him, who had vanished in the very same mission. The least he could do for Pidge was try and cast a net out there for them.

"I understand." Keith said. "I will report to you as often as I can. When the castle-ship launches, it may become more difficult."

"Leave your transmitter off while you are inside of it." Kolivan advised him. "You cannot allow your cover to be compromised."

"You won't come rescue me if I do." Keith dryly noted. "I know, I know. You've only drilled that into my head near a thousand times. I don't think you have anything to worry about. I look human, they're not likely to think otherwise."

"The humans might not, youngling," Kolivan told him, his tone bordering on almost wary, "...it's the _Alteans_ you need be wary about."

* * *

"Is something wrong, Coran?"

"Oh no, it's nothing princess." A kind smile on his face, Coran swiped away from what he was looking at. He must have made more of a sound than he'd thought, if he'd drawn Allura's attention. "Just a bit of a bug in the system. I'll have it sorted out in a moment."

"After ten thousand years, I would be more surprised to find a part of this castle that did not have some kind of bug." Allura told him.

"Ah, true enough." Coran said, nodding his head. "Why don't you go on and get a bit of shut eye before dinner? You've worked hard today, I'd say a bit of a break is in order."

"Are you certain?" Allura asked.

"Certain as they come, princess." Coran told her. "They don't call me the Coranic for nothing, you know!"

"I... honestly do not actually recall anyone ever calling you that." Allura confessed. "But perhaps my memory is a bit fuzzy from the sleep pod."

"Yes well, I'll admit, it didn't catch on quite like I hoped." Coran told her.

Letting out a faint laugh, Allura nodded her head. "Then I shall follow your advice, Coran, and avail myself to a short rest."

"Goodnight, princess!" Watching as Allura made her way from the bridge, Coran let out a faint sigh once she was gone, turning back to what he was working on. He felt a bit bad about it, but there was no reason to tell the princess about it until he knew it was something worth worrying about.

With all the chaos in the past two days, the identity scan of their valued guests had gone forgotten. Coran had only brought it up by chance, while checking the systems.

Bug, he'd said.

This, Coran knew, was no bug. Not when all the other readings had come out just fine.

It was only just Number Four's. His scan, and his scan alone, simply said nothing at all. It was a fail safe that his grandfather had installed into the system- what with their reason being akin to chameleons, it was wise to know when someone entered the castle wearing a face that was not their own.

It couldn't detect what was hidden, not truly- just that something was wrong. And for Number Four, that seemed to be just about _everything_.

"What," Coran wondered idly, as if somehow the screen would provide him with all the answers "...are you hiding, Number Four?"


	7. red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran was no warrior, but he had spent a lifetime around them. He knew enough to tell when someone had been trained- and there was no doubt in his mind that someone had trained Number Four.
> 
> And well.
> 
> Even more so, they'd trained him to _kill_.

"Oh Keith, _no_."

Hunk's words barely went above a horrified whisper, as if he simply could not believe what he was seeing right now. Just the sight of the paladin lunch had been atrocity enough, but seeing someone actually eat it?

Wow, yeah. That was worse. Like. _Way_ worse.

"Wow mullet. The ration bars were one thing, but this...?" Lance trailed off, crinkling his nose. "This is just _disgusting_."

Hunk fully agreed- sorry Keith. The ration bars were at least... palatable, if only in the vaguest sense, but this? He wasn't standing anywhere _near_ the thing, and he swore he could still smell it.

"Well at least _someone_ is appreciating the paladin lunch." Coran said in a huff. "And after all the time I spent making it!"

Sorry Coran, as much as he understood the pain of someone rejecting food that you'd worked hard on, he was going to have to go with Lance on this one.

"What?" Keith squinted, swallowing- oh god he actually _swallowed_ it- a mouthful of food. "It's just food."

"It's not just food, dude. It's slimy. Food isn't supposed to be _slimy_." Lance said. "C'mon Shiro, you're like, his mentor or something. Help us out here."

"Well..." Shiro trailed off, glancing between Lance and Keith, both of whom were watching the black paladin with equally expectant looks on their faces. "I have to admit, I'm _kind of_ with Lance on this one."

"Wow, Shiro." Keith's tone was dry, as he very pointedly tried to ignore Lance's little victory fist bump. "Look, we're in space now, okay? We're not on Earth-" and for a split second, Hunk could have sworn that Keith had been about to say something else, "-anymore. I think you've gotta get used to the idea that food's going to be a little different out here."

"Besides," squinting a little, Keith frowned, "...the only thing food needs to do is provide nutrients. Everything else is secondary."

Wow. If Keith had been trying to break his heart into a thousand pieces, he probably couldn't have done a better job of it than he just had. It was enough to make Hunk want to scoop him up in his arms and ask who it was that had hurt him.

Come to think of it, his strongest memories of Keith's days back at the Galaxy Garrison, outside of Lance's (admittedly one sided, if he was going to be perfectly honest) rivalry with him, were the times he had noticed him in the commissary.

It was... pretty hard to miss him, actually. He'd never seen someone take apart a sandwich before and eat it ingredient by ingredient before Keith Kogane. Or someone scrutinize the menu for twenty minutes, before giving up and stacking their plate with nothing but ration bars. Or someone... well okay, point is, probably the first thing he'd noticed about the Garrison's rising ace pilot was his atrocious eating habits.

He'd known his eating habits had been bad, sure, he'd seen him try to eat a steak using his bare hands, but like... not _this_ bad.

No wonder he'd been the only one who had never complained about the food goo.

Out of the edge of his hearing, he could just make out a long suffering sigh escape from Shiro. Now that he thought about it, the only times he'd ever actually _seen_ Keith in the commissary, it had been with Shiro in tow.

Or like... Shiro, towing Keith. Not in the _literal_ sense, Shiro had never _literally_ towed Keith anywhere, but in the figurative sense.

Basically, he'd never once seen Keith set foot in the commissary on his own. Couple that with the boxes of (very likely stolen, what the heck, Keith) Garrison ration bars he'd found in Keith's desert shack, and Hunk could realize a problem when he saw one.

"Keith... doesn't really like food with too strong of a flavor." He heard Shiro supply- and maybe he didn't say it out loud, but Hunk was pretty sure he heard the undertone of _or any flavor_ at all, loud and clear.

Okay, that did it, he thought. There was no way that he could allow this stand. Keith's eating habits were clearly a travesty, and someone had to do something about it.

Thankfully, he knew just the man for the job.

(Him. That man was him.)

He was pretty sure he could manage to juggle saving the universe _and_ saving Keith's taste buds.

He'd start by taking that godforsaken paladin lunch away from him.

* * *

Three things.

There were three things that he had been able to determine about Number Four since he had begun to keep an eye on him.

First and foremost among them was the fact that it was _very_ difficult to do just that. Even now, as he watched the red paladin out of the corner of his eye, Coran swore that he saw his back stiffen, feeling the presence of someone's gaze upon him. Quickly averting his eyes before Keith started searching for the source of said gaze, Coran could only frown.

He'd have thought that in a village chockfull of the local population, he would have let his guard down, or at the very least, expect to be stared at, but no- here was just as much of a bust as it was on the castle-ship.

It was an uncanny instinct, and not one that his fellow Earthlings seemed to posses.

Then again, Coran wasn't entirely sure he was an Earthling at all.

That was the second thing.

In order to properly gauge their new paladins, Allura had had him run some basic physical tests on them. Nothing too worthy of note- some physical exercise, simulation battles against the Gladiator, tests for vision and hearing, that sort of thing. They didn't know much about these humans, so it was important to understand what their limitations were if they were going to be living and fighting alongside them.

Number Four's results had been... well worthy of note.

His range of hearing was about two levels too high in comparison to his fellow Earthlings, and his sense of smell seemed to be much stronger in comparison to them as well. And as for his physical strength, well... he'd tried to conceal it, but it was quite clear to him that Number Four was significantly stronger than the rest, especially when Coran took his smaller frame into consideration.

And when it came to skill with _combat_ , well... suffice to say, his first day's battle against the Gladiator hadn't been anywhere near indicative of his real talents.

Coran was no warrior, but he had spent a lifetime around them. He knew enough to tell when someone had been trained- and there was no doubt in his mind that someone had trained Number Four.

And well.

Even more so, they'd trained him to _kill_.

Death blows seemed to be the boy's automatic default- as if he had been raised in a life where if he didn't strike first, strike fast, and strike in the most final of methods, it could be his life at risk instead. There was no hesitation in his movements, no room for any second guessing.

There was something... familiar in the way that he fought. It bubbled up in the back of Coran's mind, but he couldn't quite place it. He was familiar enough with warriors from all walks of life to recognize that he recognized it from _somewhere_ , but just not well enough to know from where that somewhere _was_.

Oh, he'd seen combat before, Number Four had, of that Coran had no doubt. That was the third thing that he had noticed. The scars that marred both his arms were indicative enough of that. If he had to guess, they likely didn't end there, either.

There had been a held breath amongst the three younger Earthlings when he'd first taken his jacket off in their company. They'd likely never seen them before- and that was enough to tell Coran that that sort of scarring was not anywhere near being common for an Earth youth of his approximate age.

Number One had merely looked grim. Likely, he'd cause to be familiar with them.

None of the Earthlings asked any questions, so Coran took that as advice to hold his tongue just the same. He doubted he'd get a straight answer out of Number Four anyways.

Perhaps... perhaps some kind of rebel fighter, or the _child_ of rebel fighters, more likely, Coran mused. He simply couldn't imagine Zarkon conquering hundreds of systems without facing _some_ form of resistance, however small. If it was the latter, they'd likely sent him to Earth for his own protection. It was a reasonable enough explanation, but there was something about it that just didn't sit quite right with Coran.

Still, the fact remained that whoever, whatever Number Four actually was, he had still been chosen by the red lion as it's paladin. _Alfor's_ lion. He didn't exactly care for the idea of being suspicious of someone whom the lion his king had once piloted had picked.

So whoever he might be, wherever he might come from, Coran felt certain that he, and his secrets, weren't likely to be a danger to them.

Who knew? Maybe in good time, he'd eventually come around.

Besides, he was the only one who had eaten the paladin lunch that he'd slaved over, so he couldn't be all _that_ bad.

* * *

"Have you seen Keith around anywhere, Coran?"

"No, not for some time." Glancing up from what he was doing, Coran frowned. "Not since we saw off those prisoners, I think."

"Well, he's not in the lounge, and he's not in his room or the training room." Shiro told him, letting out a long sigh. He knew full well that Keith had a habit of vanishing without a word, but he'd seemed frazzled after their last battle, and he couldn't help but worry.

Not that he could blame him. It had been one hell of a fight.

One that brought back more of it's fair share of bad memories for him. Maybe there was a good reason for why he could barely remember his year as Zarkon's prisoner.

At least he'd remembered that he hadn't hurt Matt out of some kind of raging bloodlust. If that had actually been the truth, then... well, he wasn't sure what he would have done with himself.

"Hm." Coran frowned. "Well, if you'd like, I can check to see where he might be. The ship logged all of your biorhythms from the time you came on board!"

"Thanks, Coran." Shiro smiled. "For all I know, he could just be taking a look around the ship. He seems to enjoy exploring new places. Did it back at the Garrison too."

Well that was one way of putting it, Shiro thought. In reality, he just didn't think Keith felt safe until he knew the lay of a place like the back of his hand.

"So you've known Number Four for awhile then?" Coran asked.

"I was his mentor back at the Garrison." Shiro told him, a faint smile on his face. "Of course, it was only for about a year before I was sent off to Kerberos. But I'd like to think I got to know him pretty well."

Coran let out a faint _hm_ , before his typing suddenly stopped.

"Huh. Well that's strange." Coran said, breaking Shiro from his thoughts. "It would seem that Number Four actually isn't on the ship right now. And from the looks of it..." a pause, a short span of typing, "...the red lion's gone as well."

"He took the red lion?" Shiro asked, his eyes narrowing. "Why would he do that?"

"Perhaps he just wanted to take a more in depth look around the planet?" Coran mused. "It still seems to be here on Arus, at any rate, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Letting his shoulders relax at that, Shiro let out his breath. "Can you send the coordinates out to the black lion? I'll go and meet up with him."

"Of course, not a problem." Coran told him.

"Thanks, Coran." Shiro told him again, nodding his head. Glancing down at the coordinates, he felt something in his blood run cold- he recognized them.

They were exactly where that monster had landed.

What... what on Earth was Keith doing _there_?

* * *

Even now, Keith swore he could still feel the faint remnants of that dark, twisted energy.

He'd never seen anything like the beast that the Galra had sent after them, but it had _reeked_ of druid magic. It had been enough to make his skin crawl, but he'd fought down the urge to vomit, collecting himself so that none of the other paladins could notice. None of the others could feel it- only just him.

Red had softly purred in the back of his mind, as if trying to reassure him, and it had worked- enough to calm him down, at least. Enough so that he could focus on _getting rid of it_.

Now that it was gone, the worst of it's foul energy was gone too- but he couldn't shake the feeling that it would taint this place for a long time to come. Shiro had said that he'd recognized it, recognized the monster, from his time in the gladiator pits- had the druids turned a living thing into some kind of robotic monster?

Whatever it was, Kolivan needed a full report. If Zarkon had access to this kind of monstrosity, then he needed to know.

With any luck, it was something that had been created for the sole purpose of defeating Voltron. If not... Keith bit his lip, wondering how many lives would have been lost if something of that caliber had been put up against the Blades.

Enough to make even Kolivan pale.

Faintly, he could hear the sound of Red's purr in the back of his mind again, and let out a long breath. Patting it's leg, Keith spared a glance up towards it, part in wonder. It had spoken to him today, in a way- though not with words, he'd been able to hear it, loud and clear.

If he'd have any doubts at having been chosen, it had laid them to rest. And if he'd had any doubts that it hadn't seen right through him the moment he'd presented himself in front of it, those too, had been put to rest.

It knew what he was. It just didn't care.

In any case, he had to hurry. Since he'd taken the red lion out, people were bound to notice at some point. It had been faster than trying to reach this point on foot.

(Another desert. Because of course.)

"This is grave news, youngling."

"It _has_ to be the work of the druids, Kolivan." He must have been more shaken still than he'd admit to himself, since he didn't correct the mistake, even though he'd caught it. "I felt it."

"Calm yourself, Kyix." Kolivan merely told him, his tone not departing from that of his usual stoicism, even if the corners of his eyes narrowed.

"It was _foul_." Keith nearly spat the word. Galran was already a harsh language, but he made it harsher still. "Shiro... Shiro said that he recognized it. From his time in the gladiator pits. _Myzax_. It fought like him."

Kolivan frowned at this, an expression of deep pondering on his face. "He was certain of this?"

"We even beat the same way he did in the past." Keith supplied. "So yeah, pretty sure."

"This does sound like the work of druids indeed." Kolivan narrowed his eyes. "We will look into the matter as much as we can from this end. I will send word to Thace, but his security clearance may not be high enough to tell us what the druids might be up to now."

"Thace?" Keith blinked. "Did he gain access to Central Command?"

Last he'd heard, he was still stationed as part of fleet in the borderlands. His rank had obviously gone up since then, if Kolivan was speaking of him now.

Kolivan paused for a moment, seeming to consider if he should tell him this or not. "He has gained access to Commander Prorok's fleet, and Commander Prorok has been called to Central Command. We expect that he shall advance from there, if all goes well."

"Oh, caterpillar brows." Keith mumbled, half underneath his breath, ignoring the look it earned him from Kolivan. How the hell had _Prorok_ managed to get bumped up to Central Command was perhaps the real mystery here. "Well if he's under _Prorok_ , all he has to do is wait for him to slip up and seize his chance."

"Indeed." Kolivan said, his tone dry. "I will have our scientists go over the readings that you sent us, Kyix. Perhaps we will be able to determine something yet about this beast that you fought."

"Right." Keith said, giving him a curt nod. "I've begun to map out the castle-ship as well. In another two days, I should have the layout of the place memorized."

"Once you depart from Arus, I will send an agent down to the planet to do reconnaissance with the remains of the beast." Kolivan told him. "What of the locals?"

"They make me feel like I need to apologize to Earth." Keith noted, arching a brow, pointedly deciding to not mention the fact that they were, actually... really kind of _cuddly_. "I don't think you'll have any problems with them."

Anything else he might have said was interrupted by a soft purr in the back of his mind. Glancing up, he cast his eyes towards the horizon, just making out the shape of the black lion at the edge of it. A few moment's later, he could faintly make out it's energy, a soft, weak hum compared to what he could pick up from Red.

Shiro.

"Sorry, Leader." Keith said, turning back to the screen. "I'm going to have to cut this transmission short. Looks like someone noticed I was gone."

"Understood."

Letting the screen go dark, Keith tucked the transmitter back away in his pouch, switching it off. Placing a hand against the red lion's leg, he muttered his thanks in Galran under his breath, before trying to shake his native tongue from him.

English. Time for English now.

(He was pretty sure Shiro already knew that it wasn't his native tongue, but like hell he was going to let him solve the mystery of what it actually was.)

Not longer after, the black lion touched down beside the red lion, and Shiro wasted no time in getting out. "Keith?" He called out. "What are you doing out here?"

"I... needed to see it one more time." It wasn't a lie, Keith thought. "What are you doing out here though, Shiro?"

"I was looking for you, and Coran said that the red lion had left it's hangar, so-" Shiro began, before cutting himself off, shaking his head. "You doing okay? You looked a little shaken when you came out of your lion back at the Castle."

"I'm fine." Keith told him, a little surprised that Shiro had even noticed. And here he thought he'd masked it well. "Shouldn't I be the one asking if you're fine? That monster was one of the gladiators you fought, wasn't he?"

There was a pause, before Shiro gave him a curt nod, a flicker of pain dancing through his eyes. "...he was."

"I'm going to take it he wasn't a giant robot back then." Keith quipped, arching a brow.

It served to put a faint smile on Shiro's face, the man shaking his head. "No. I'm... pretty sure I wouldn't have won that match if he was a giant robot."

"Nah, I'm sure you could have done it." Keith told him. "You brought this one down, didn't you?"

"That's mostly thanks to you." Shiro told him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Without that sword, we would have been in trouble."

"You can thank Red for that one." Keith told him, reaching out to touch Red's leg once more, hearing the faint sound of it's purr in the back of his mind.

"Still think it's a fluke?" Shiro asked.

Pulling his gaze away from Red, Keith couldn't help but smile- a faint, awkward thing. "Maybe not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, here's chapter six! I figure I should go ahead and give you all a head's up that there's a chance I might not be able to update as frequently in the coming few weeks or so. My dog is having surgery on one of his legs today (he's old, it's that kind of problem, nothing serious), so he'll be in recovery starting tomorrow. How much time I'll have to write depends on the kind of aftercare that he'll need, so obviously that's my first priority!
> 
> Anyways, see y'all next time!


	8. bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were supposed to be five paladins of Voltron, but putting aside the injured Lance, only three had shown up in response to the blast.
> 
> Where the hell was _Keith?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I return, with a new chapter! First, an update on my dog- namely that he's doing well, and is mostly just upset that he has to wear a cone and can't go upstairs. So that's really good news, and hopefully things stay that way! With that said, I actually don't have all that much left to say, so I'll just let you all get to the chapter and enjoy.
> 
> Until next time!

Some part of her knew that she was being selfish. It was just that the rest of her didn't care.

She did feel bad about it- she'd be lying if she tried to claim otherwise. But it wasn't enough to change her mind, not by a long shot.

Somewhere out there, her father and brother were being held captive by the Galra. Somewhere out there, they were fighting for their lives, at the mercy of beasts who knew none. Somewhere out there, they might already be dead, for all she knew.

(God she hoped that wasn't true.)

They could find a new green paladin, but her family couldn't be so easily replaced. If she didn't look for them, who would? There was no one out here but her who even _cared_ about them.

And she had a lead. It wasn't much of a lead, but it was better than anything that she'd had before- which was technically _nothing_ , but even so. A lead was a lead. There was no way that she could just sit here, when every hour, every minute, every second might bring her loved ones closer to death.

(If they weren't dead already. Nope. She had to stop going there. She had to, or she knew she would break.)

She didn't expect the team to take it easily. She was letting them down, abandoning them. But she _had_ to do this. She _had_ to go.

Maybe if things went well, she could come back to them. But if they didn't... well, she was prepared for the search for her family to be a long haul.

To be fair, she had meant to wait until the party was over. Everyone seemed to be in such a good mood that she hated to ruin it- or well, _almost_ everyone. Shiro was watching the entrance of the castle like a hawk, and Keith... well, he'd been here, she'd seen him herself, but he'd apparently vanished somewhere along the way.

Figures. It was a small miracle he'd decided to show up at all. He hadn't exactly made very many efforts to be social with them.

It didn't matter. The others could tell Keith for her. Hell, it was probably better that he wasn't here right now. With that temper of his, he was bound to snap at her when she told them she was leaving and she'd rather not deal with that. She'd made up her mind, and nothing was going to change it.

Come to think of it, Pidge thought, Keith wasn't the only paladin missing. Where had Lance gone? She could have sworn that he had been here when she went to collect Shiro. Oh well, it wasn't really like it mattered- Allura and Shiro were here, and they were the people that needed to be told this the most.

Breathing in, and then letting out her breath, Pidge Gunderson- _Katie Holt_ \- braced herself to tell them the news.

It would not go over well.

She didn't care.

She'd made up her mind.

* * *

Nobody had noticed him slip out of the party early.

Just being there had been compromise enough already. It wasn't like there were _never_ any social events amongst the Blades, but to call them anything like a party... well, a stretch didn't even begin to describe how far off it was.

Granted, he did get to see Lance nearly gag on Nunvill, and then _actually_ gag on it when he learned it doubled as hair tonic. Maybe it was worth the preceding awkward social interaction.

(He _still_ didn't get the chant.)

But if the party meant one thing, it was that it would keep the entire crew preoccupied. Now was the perfect time to do some reconnaissance work. Seeing as they were taking off tomorrow, it might very well be the only chance he'd get. Once he learned about the castle-ship's systems, he'd be able to navigate them more easily, work them to his advantage.

Still, party or no party, there was still a chance that he might get caught. And this wasn't exactly like wandering around the ship, where he could claim he was just trying to get his bearings. If he were caught downloading a copy of the castle-ship's systems... well, that'd pretty much out him as a spy right then and there.

But if they couldn't tell who he was, then...

Slipping out of his paladin armor, Keith reached for one of the pouches on his belt. Sure, the clunky paladin armor might be better for defense, he'd admit it, but there was something handy about having an armor that one could make super compact. It was a stroke of luck he thought to keep it tucked away in one of his pouches at all times- Kolivan would have killed him if he'd left it back on Earth.

(He didn't even want to think what Kolivan would say about all the _other_ tech he left back on Earth. Whoops.)

And wearing it again, after all this time? Suffice to say, it made him feel more like himself since well... since he'd taken this mission just about, waking up on an unfamiliar planet with an unfamiliar face. Maybe the body underneath it was still human, but it felt far less like it now.

There weren't any cameras in the living quarters, Keith had checked. He also knew exactly where he would be going, how many cameras were on his way there, and how best to avoid them. Once there, while he might be no computer genius, he knew enough to know how to loop security footage, so that nobody noticed the mysterious intruder hanging around in the bowels of the castle-ship. Once done, he'd be able to erase the camera footage, replacing it with a time loop to fill in the missing time, just in case.

This was hardly his first infiltration mission.

Pulling up his hood, Keith unwrapped the hilt of his knife, sheathing it at his hip. On the off chance he needed to use it, he'd activate it, but unless that need became a reality, just the unwrapped hilt alone should be enough to disguise it. Even on the off chance someone caught him, he'd planned several escape routes out, and was confident he could get back here before they could even catch up. Then it would be a simple matter of changing back into his paladin armor, and joining the search, all while pretending the intruder that they were looking for wasn't _him_.

It helped that the Marmoran armor had a function in it that made him invisible to biorhythm scanners- and very grateful that Shiro had mentioned that the castle-ship had them. Unless someone saw him with their own eyes, it would be like he was never even there.

As for the download itself... reaching into his belt pouch, he produced a small chip, twirling it idly between his fingers. Most members would conceal it beneath one of their claws, but given the current rounded, translucent state of his own, that was an impossibility at the moment.

( _Nails_ , humans called them. Keith hated them.)

Tucking the chip back away, Keith touched the underside of his chin, activating the suit's mask. Drawing in a deep breath, going over his route one more time, Keith couldn't help but grin to himself.

If he thought infiltrating the Galran ship had been like a homecoming, then this was that, and so much more.

* * *

The explosion that rocked the castle-ship caught them all off guard.

Shifting on her heel, Pidge chewed her lip- and then pivoted on it, racing back towards the source of the explosion. A bomb had just gone off! The castle had just gone dark! There was no way that she could just ignore all that and leave!

Pausing to catch her breath as she reached the bridge, dust caught in her throat, causing her to choke. Covering her mouth with her hand, she breathed in as much air as she dared, steadying herself, before she joined the others in assessing the damage.

And it was dire.

The ship's crystal, it's power source, had been destroyed, which would have been bad enough on it's own.

Far worse than that was the fact that Lance had been injured in the blast.

_Badly_.

Without any power, they couldn't put him in one of the healing pods. Without one of the healing pods... a shudder ran down Pidge's spine, as she forced the thought away. No. No, she wasn't going to let that happen.

Not to her family. Not to _anyone_.

She may have made up her mind to leave, but she wasn't heartless.

She was still here, so she was _still_ a paladin of Voltron, and as long as her team needed her during this crisis, she would be there for them. Thank god she had left the bay door open, it meant that Hunk and Coran could use the pod she was planning on taking to find a new crystal- and a new crystal meant they could get the healing pods to work.

While they were doing that, Allura would go to check out what was happening at the Arusian village, leaving Shiro to tend to Lance, and herself on standby in the Castle. If this was some kind of Galra attack, they doubted that this would be the end of it.

Whatever they were planning, they had to be ready.

There was one thing bothering her though, besides the Galra, and she knew she wasn't the only one.

There were supposed to be five paladins of Voltron, but putting aside the injured Lance, only _three_ had shown up in response to the blast.

Where the hell was _Keith_?

* * *

He'd nearly finished the download when the explosion rocked the ship, plunging the room into total darkness.

Grunting, Keith gripped the console, using it to steady himself until the tremors abated. Swearing underneath his breath, he tried to get the console- any of the consoles- to respond, an effort that proved itself to be in vain. Whatever had just happened, it had taken the ship's power with it.

This had _not_ been in his plans.

Yanking the chip from the console, Keith quickly tucked it away in his pouch, taking a moment to get his bearings. That blast had come from the direction of the bridge, and the fastest way to get there without running the risk of running into anyone else was...

...the vents. He could use the vents.

(Every so often, his status as a runt actually came in handy. He was pretty sure the Blade _loved_ having someone around who was small enough to fit in the vents of an average Galran cruiser.)

Castle-ship reconnaissance could wait, this took first priority.

Slipping into the vents, Keith thanked what good fortune he had that he hadn't _entirely_ lost his night vision, though it was pathetic compared to what it once was. His mask improved on what remained of it, making everything come out a little bit sharper and more clear.

Racking his brain for what could have happened, Keith's mind drifted back to something that Kolivan had mentioned to him- to be on his guard. There was a chance that Sendak had survived the fall of his ship, and was merely biding his time somewhere here on Arus.

If that were the case, then he must have seen the gathering as just as much of a chance as he had. It twisted his gut to know that they'd thought the same way as the enemy, but he forced it back, not giving himself cause to dwell on it.

He didn't know how he'd gotten a bomb into the Castle, nor what his plan was from there, but whatever it was, Keith was _going_ to find out. And from there he'd...

...he'd what, exactly? He couldn't risk showing himself in front of the other paladins wearing _this_. Even if he wanted to return to his quarters and change back into his paladin armor, without power, the door was probably sealed shut. He could always break in, but he was _pretty sure_ someone would take notice of the damage that would cause.

Should he contact Kolivan? No, not until he knew exactly what Sendak's plan was. He could figure this out on his own anyways- he took no small amount of pride in his own sharp instincts. They'd never lead him into trouble before.

(They had, but he was ignoring that.)

He'd figure this out. Somehow.

Making out the sound of Allura's voice, Keith froze in his tracks. Crinkling his nose at the dust that hung in the air, he realized just why the Castle had gone dark.

The crystal had been destroyed.

And someone- Keith couldn't quite make out who- had been injured in the blast. His hearing might not be good enough to make out exactly what was being said, but it was still good enough to pick out their individual voices.

The only one that went unaccounted for was Lance.

Biting his lip, Keith narrowed his eyes beneath his mask. Maybe he wasn't _wild_ about the guy, but he couldn't say that he was too keen on him getting hurt.

It was one of the risks of war, he knew. But that was the thing- none of them had signed up for this.

He had. He'd always known that once his mission on Earth was over, that he would be returning to the front lines. He'd always known the risks, the cost of fighting against Zarkon- that victory didn't come without a cost.

He knew. Every Blade knew.

(Knowledge or death.)

The humans didn't.

But now they knew. They'd have to learn it sooner or later, he knew, but he found himself realizing now that he'd wished it didn't have to be the hard way.

Drawing in his breath, Keith carefully crept forward in the vents, mindful that Allura and Coran's hearing was much better than any of the humans. His Marmora armor softened his movements, making him practically noiseless, but caution was still prudent. From here, he could make out what they were saying much better.

The sound of a new voice. The Arusian king. Their village was under attack.

Allura would go. Shiro would tend to Lance. Hunk and Coran would take the pod that Pidge had prepared (and he felt like he was missing something there) and go to the nearest Balmera to try and get a new Crystal.

Keith winced at that. There weren't any Balmera left that were free of Zarkon's control- they'd all been turned into mining colonies, every last one of them, which, from the sound of it, Coran had no idea about. He was starting to think that Hunk had lousy luck.

Getting a crystal from one, especially a battleship class one, wouldn't be an easy task. He'd have cause to know- raiding one had been one of his first missions with the Blade, and he still had the scar to show for it.

(Right underneath his left rib, grazed by a laser. Stung like a bitch, in human terms.)

That left Pidge on standby. As for himself, well...

The sharp edge of Allura's voice made him wince.

"-and someone find Keith!"


	9. unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, granted, she also didn't know that much about Keith, and what she did know was thoroughly unhelpful. He was an ace pilot! But also a dropout. He lived in a shack in the desert, had eating habits that made Hunk cry, and again, given the chance, would probably absolutely shank a Galra.
> 
> (Possibly people? Keith always gave her the vibe that he'd be down with murder.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy hey, here's chapter eight! I actually have another AU in the works that might be coming along sometime in the next two days or so, that's mostly focused on Keith and Pidge (and Matt and Allura), so keep an eye out for that when it's done! I've got like... one other idea besides it (that's more Shiro-centric), but that's still way back in the pipeline, so don't expect it anytime too soon.
> 
> Anyways, here's this, please enjoy!

He'd been itching to move ever since Sendak barged onto the bridge, tossing Shiro aside like he was some kind of rag doll.

And if it had _just_ been Sendak, he would have. But it was Sendak, Haxus, and four sentries, and though Keith had been accused many times as being reckless, even he wasn't dumb enough to challenge those odds.

Especially not when they had two hostages.

 _Especially_ when he hadn't been trained in the slightest on how to protect people. That much had been made _abundantly_ clear during their first team training exercises.

Lance was completely defenseless, and Shiro... well, Shiro didn't look too good either. He kept drifting in and out of consciousness, which was never a good sign. Neither of them were in much of a situation to protect themselves, and odds were, if he went down there, he'd only just end up getting them killed.

A Blade could easily be replaced.

A paladin of Voltron could not.

Drawing in his breath, Keith instead settled in to wait. He hated waiting, but damned if he wasn't good at it- he had to be, he'd been trained to be that way. Patience was vital- and the fact that both Kolivan and Shiro alike valued it was never lost on him. Sendak was bound to let his guard down at some point, and when he did, that was when he'd strike.

He might not be able to face them all at once, but if he could pick them off, one by one... well, that was a different story entirely. He had one advantage over them- and that was the fact that none of them even knew that he was here. If he did it right, they wouldn't even know what hit them.

Of course, if they actually managed to take off, or even worse, jump into hyperspace... Keith's nose crinkled. Maybe then he wouldn't have much of a choice.

 _If_ it came to that, Keith thought. Because when it came to things he knew, and Sendak didn't, there was one other thing that gave him- _them_ \- an advantage.

Lance and Shiro _weren't_ the only paladins left on the ship. Since they hadn't been dragged in here with them, he could only assume that Pidge was still loose somewhere on the ship. There was a small chance that they could have rendezvoused with Allura at the Arusian village- but he didn't think so.

Right now, Allura was probably feeding them instructions about what to do.

(Right now, Allura was probably also _still_ looking for him. He'd... worry about that later.)

They'd either go for the particle barrier, or for the engines. His bet would be on the engines, stalling Sendak long enough for Pidge to get to the particle barrier and disable it from the inside. Once they did that, Sendak would likely become aware of their position- which... granted, would be bad for Pidge, but for him?

It'd work out just fine.

As long as Sendak thought there was only one interloper, he wouldn't think twice about splitting his forces. If he had one weakness, it was how sure of his own strength, his own power, he was. That was the downfall of many a Galra commander, whose talk of _victory or death_ was always undermined by the sheer fact that they truly seemed to believe the latter would never come for them.

They spoke of death, but they only understood taking the lives of others. Nothing of putting their own on the line.

Drawing in a long breath, Keith set himself in to wait.

It didn't take long.

When the engines sputtered and died, Keith couldn't help but grin from underneath his mask. Bet Sendak hadn't expected _that_.

There was a certain satisfaction that he took in watching Sendak bark out orders. It didn't take them long to get to the root of the problem- Haxus brought up camera feed on the monitors just in time to see Pidge leaving the engine room. It wasn't too long before they picked up on Allura's transmission, helping them pinpoint the location of the so-called intruder.

It was so like a Commander of the empire to forget that _he_ was the intruder once he'd taken whatever it was that he'd wanted. One hand straying to the hilt of his knife, he readied himself, waiting to see what orders Sendak would give.

"Find that room. Kill the paladin."

Curt, straight to the point, and without hesitation. Narrowing his eyes, Keith watched through the gap as the sentries quickly complied.

He knew where the main hull was, he could cut them off before they got there. Four sentries were _nothing_ if he didn't have to worry about trying to protect anyone else.

"Repair the engine."

Sendak's voice broke off his chain of thoughts. The order had been directed towards Haxus- who quickly determined that he would not be able to fix them from the bridge. It was a decision that would leave Sendak alone, making him a tantalizing target...

...but no. Lance and Shiro were still there, and there was no guarantee that he could sneak up on Sendak without giving away his position. The bridge was one big wide open space, not ideal for infiltration.

In that case, better to follow Haxus, and take him out first. Without him, there was a chance that Sendak might not have the knowledge to reboot the castle-ship's engines, leaving him effectively stranded, his plan a failure. Keeping the Voltron lions out of Zarkon's hands was his highest priority right now.

The sentries still bothered him, but Pidge was scrappy and resourceful, which made them a better match against them, than it did against Haxus. Thinking quick on one's feet was a good trait to have in a battle, but without experience to put it to good use, it wasn't worth much.

Besides, this was war. They'd all have to learn to fight and defend themselves at _some_ point. If they couldn't even manage to take down a few sentries, they'd never make it out here. What was that expression that humans used... swim or sink? Sink or swim? Whatever, _that_.

Haxus first, then.

Drawing his hand away from the hilt of his knife, Keith quietly moved from his position, careful to not let any of his movements be heard. Sendak's ears were even better than Allura's, so he couldn't afford to telegraph his location in any way.

He'd head Haxus off before he got to the main engine room. He knew the way.

Kicking away one of the grates, Keith slipped back into the ship proper, twitching up his hood. Mentally sorting through the camera locations on this level, he determined the best path of interception- one that would leave him largely in the blind spots of the devices.

Ideally, he'd take out Haxus before he even had a chance to know what hit him. He couldn't afford to get into a long, drawn out battle with him- it'd only work to his disadvantage.

He was a runt, he couldn't fight like the other Blades could. He'd had to learn to adapt, to work around his own disadvantage.

Strike fast, and without hesitation. He was smaller, sure, but he was also _faster_. Fast enough to slip in before his enemy's guard was up, break through it before they even had a chance to defend themselves.

Ulaz had taught him that.

Resting his hand on the hilt of his blade, Keith crouched down, putting all his focus into his hearing. Steadying his breathing, he concealed his presence, waiting for the sounds of Haxus' approach. This was the most direct and fastest way to the engine room- there was no doubt that he would come down this path.

 _There_. An unfamiliar set of footsteps. It wasn't the loud, unsubtle ones of the sentries, metal clanging against metal, nor were they the small footfalls that belonged to Pidge. It wasn't perfect yet, but he'd been taking the time to memorize the sound of all of the paladin's footsteps, both in armor and out.

If they weren't Pidge, and they weren't the sentries, then they could only be Haxus.

Grip tightening on his knife, he drew it half out of it's sheath. Gauging his breathing, he waited until Haxus was nearly upon him, before he struck. Drawing his knife, it transformed into a sword in a flash, using that instant to step into Haxus' guard. He had a brief second to react, moving for his own energy sword, but he didn't give him the chance to draw it.

Clean, one hit, over and done with.

Ulaz had taught him how to fight.

Kolivan had taught him how to _kill_.

Letting out a breath, Keith watched as Haxus crumpled, hand still clutching the hilt of his sword.

At least _something_ today had gone according to plan.

Transforming his blade once more into a knife, he quickly sheathed it. Running what he should do next through his head, he just barely missed the small footsteps that he was becoming increasingly familiar with.

He saw Pidge at the same time they saw him.

Swearing underneath his breath in a particularly vicious bit of Galran, Keith pivoted on his heel, ignoring Pidge's sharp cry to wait. Like _hell_ he'd wait. Making a quick exit, he slipped back into the vents, trying to pretend that his heart wasn't currently beating a mile a minute.

Maybe he'd spoken too soon about that whole _according to plan_ bit.

* * *

In what was perhaps her _least_ graceful display of the day, Pidge found herself falling flat on her face, bayard slipping out of her hand and skidding halfway down the hall. In her defense, she hadn't exactly expected to run into some kind of weird lump the second she'd turned the corner.

Not that she had the time to be embarrassed- springing to her feet, she immediately moved into defensive mode, preparing herself for whatever blow was sure to come.

Which was... nothing.

Cracking open an eye- why the _hell_ had she closed her eyes- she found no sign of the masked intruder. His armor hadn't been anything like she'd seen on any Galra before, but considering her experience with them thus far amounted to like... _two_ , that wasn't really a sign of anything.

Confirming that the hallway was indeed empty, she wasted no time in scurrying over to her bayard, clutching it tight. With it secure in her hands, only then did she bother to check what the hell it was she'd managed to trip over in the first place.

She'd... oh god.

She'd only gotten a brief glimpse of him, when they had first taken the Castle, but there was no mistaking the figure of Sendak's second in command.

His very _dead_ second in command.

Pardon her French, but _what the fuck_.

"Pidge? Pidge, are you alright?" Allura's voice snapped her back into reality, and Pidge sucked in her breath, trying to settle her racing thoughts. "What happened?"

"Allura," drawing in a long breath, Pidge searched her surroundings once more, checking for any trace of the masked figure, "...I think- I think there's _someone else_ in the Castle."

"Someone-" There was a slight pause, a crackle of static. "-could it be Keith, do you think? I still haven't had any luck getting into contact with him."

Okay, while shanking a Galra seemed _absolutely_ like the kind of thing Keith would do, running away from her _wasn't_. Not to mention... what the hell had been with that armor, that _mask_?

Okay, granted, she also didn't know that much about Keith, and what she did know was thoroughly unhelpful. He was an ace pilot! But also a dropout. He lived in a shack in the desert, had eating habits that made Hunk cry, and again, given the chance, would probably _absolutely_ shank a Galra.

(Possibly people? Keith always gave her the vibe that he'd be down with murder.)

But... no. That being Keith made like, _zero sense_.

"I," Pidge began, "I don't think it was Keith, Allura."

"Another Galra, then?" Allura suggested, her tone growing tense.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure whoever it was just _killed_ one of the Galra, so I don't think that's it either." Pidge supplied. "They just... turned a corner and _vanished_."

"That is... _concerning_ , to say the least." Allura admitted. "Did they try and harm you in any way?"

"No, they just ran, like, the moment they saw me." Pidge told her. "What should I do? Pursue? I don't even know where they _went_."

There was another slight pause, Allura likely deep in thought. "For the moment, continue as you were. We _need_ that particle barrier down. We can worry about this... this _unknown_ , once we have taken care of Sendak."

Leaving an unknown factor free inside of the Castle obviously did not sit easily with the princess- and Pidge had to agree with her. Still, she was right- their objective hadn't changed. She'd taken out the sentries that had been sent after her, so the bulk of Sendak's forces were now gone, which meant now was as good a time as any to strike.

"Alright princess," Pidge began, "I'm heading back to the generator room now."

* * *

Allura and Pidge hadn't seemed to link their mysterious intruder to him. That was the good news.

The bad news? The bad news was that he was now the center of attention- with Allura demanding quite loudly to know just where the hell he had been. Okay, so she hadn't said it _quite_ like that, but beyond the politeness that was deeply ingrained in the princess' speech, it was clear that was what she had meant.

And he understood. He did! There was no way that he didn't look awful right now.

It wasn't like he'd- or well, _red paladin him_ \- never shown up. He'd been there in the end, when they took out Sendak, having decided to cut his losses and go for his paladin armor after that too close encounter with Pidge. If anyone noticed the damage to his door later, he'd just make something up to brush it off.

And it wasn't like he didn't have an excuse, either. He'd totally thought of one.

Was it a good excuse? No, not really.

Would it work? Well... maybe he didn't understand humans super well, but he knew enough about them to know that they would go out of their way to avoid admitting anything that could be considered embarrassing, even if it meant lying. That someone would lie _with_ something embarrassing just seemed to run counter to their general behavior.

Which was why it would work. Probably.

"Look," Keith began, shifting his weight to his other foot, trying to act as flustered as possible. Not that it was _hard_ \- lie or not, this was definitely going to be a blow to his reputation around here. "...I got- I got stuck in the elevator, alright?"

"Oh." Drawing back, Allura blinked. "Yes, well, that _would_ be a bit of a difficult situation to get out of. But still, you could have contacted me, and I would have sent Pidge to assist you-"

Cutting her off, Keith tried to pretend that he didn't hear the low snickering coming from Pidge's direction. Ugh. At least Lance was sealed up in the healing pod, though he didn't doubt he'd give him hell for it later. "I didn't have it with me. I thought... I thought someone might hassle me for leaving the party early, so I just... left it in my room."

"Ah." Allura said simply, before she let out a long sigh of... was that _relief_?

Wait.

Had she been worried?

About _him_?

"For the longest time, I was afraid that Sendak had already gotten to you." Allura confessed, looking as if a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. "I do not know what I would have done were that the case."

Swallowing, Keith felt the bite of guilt sink into him. The Altean princess, worried about _him_? It sounded like a bad joke.

"I... sorry." He apologized, tasting his own lie as he hadn't before.

"You don't need to apologize, Keith." Shiro spoke up, giving him one of those soft, understanding smiles of his, which only managed to make everything worse. "We're all just glad you're okay."

In the corner of his eyes, Keith could see it- that what had happened to Lance was weighing on Shiro. How he blamed himself for it, even though there was nothing that he could have possibly done to prevent it. Even though this was a war, and in war, these things happened.

It reminded him, that in spite of everything that he had gone through at Zarkon's hands, that Shiro too, hadn't come out here to fight in a war.

He'd been trying to _escape_ one.

"Well then," Allura spoke, pausing to clear her throat. "With that out of the way, there is one more matter that we need to discuss. Pidge?"

Giving the princess a curt nod, Pidge brought up a bit of video footage. Keith had to fight the urge to wince- he hadn't been able to go back and erase the video data like he'd wanted. It spanned only a total of three seconds, none of which were a clear shot of him, but it was enough for everyone to get a vague impression of his Marmora armor, if nothing else.

It was still too much.

"Pidge, what is-" Shiro began, turning to Allura with a confused expression.

"During the time I was locked out of the Castle, Pidge here encountered what we believe to be some kind of third party _unknown_. This is the only piece of video footage we were able to recover of them, and believe me, we looked. Whoever they are, it would seem that they are quite skilled at covering their tracks." Allura told him, striding up to the monitor, her gaze hard. "We cannot be sure what their intentions were, but it would seem that he was the one who finished Haxus off."

"So... what, they're an ally, then?" Hunk chimed in. "I mean, they _did_ take out one of the Galra, so..."

"If they're an ally, why did they run?" Pidge asked, arching her brows.

Deciding that being silent here wasn't his best option, Keith decided to chime in himself. "And what were they doing in the Castle in the first place?"

"All good questions." Allura said. "I had Coran do a full sweep of the Castle, and he couldn't detect any biorhythms that were out of the place."

"So whoever this was, they're gone now." Shiro finished, a grim expression set on his face.

Keith had to force himself not to look away.

"Unless they have a way to hide themselves from our scanners, it would appear so." Allura observed. "It is possible that they snuck into the Castle using the party as a cover, and were trapped inside when the Galra took over."

"What do you think they want?" Hunk asked.

"I can't say." Shaking her head, it was clear that Allura was displeased by this notion. "Coran is checking the systems right now for anything that they might have done, but with the systems corrupted by the Galra crystal's energy, it might be impossible to determine."

"So basically, we have like, _no way_ of knowing if this guy did something or not?" Hunk asked.

Well, that was a nice bonus, Keith thought. Thanks for covering his tracks, Sendak.

"I'm afraid so." Allura said, giving the yellow paladin a small smile. It didn't seem to do anything to reassure him.

"You say that they killed Haxus?" Shiro asked.

"Yes." Allura nodded. "Pidge discovered his body in the same location as the _unknown_. It is only reasonable to assume that they are the one responsible for it, as there was no one else who could have possibly done it."

"From the sound of it, they didn't try and hurt you, Pidge." Shiro observed, and Keith couldn't even pretend that he didn't notice the way his back stiffened, no doubt letting his thoughts stray to the worst possible outcome.

The reality of leading children into battle was clearly sinking into him.

"No." Shaking their head, Pidge frowned. "They saw me and just... took off."

Keith didn't miss the way that Hunk's breathing got a little easier when she said that, as if he'd expected this _unknown_ to pop out any minute and stab him in the back.

Great. He was well on his way to becoming some kind of Castle boogeyman.

(Antok would find it hilarious, he dimly noted.)

"Whatever the case, we will need to be very prudent until we leave Arus." Allura remarked. "There is still a chance that they might come back, so we must be ready if they do."

"Keith?" Perking up at the mention of his alias, Keith turned towards Shiro. "That means no leaving the Castle from now on. Whoever that was, there's a good chance that they could still be out there."

"Yes, Shiro's right." Allura told him, giving him a curt nod. "It's better if we stay together for the time being."

"I mean," frowning a little, Keith furrowed his brow, trying not to dwell on how ridiculous it was that they were worried about protecting him from himself, "...they didn't hurt Pidge, right?"

"While that is true, we can't reliably say that they were any sort of ally either. Pidge is correct- if they were, they would not have had any reason to run- or hide their face, for that matter." Allura told him. "I'll try and run their armor through our system, but after ten thousand years, I'm not expecting too much."

Probably not, Keith thought to himself. The Blade of Marmora wasn't even _around_ ten thousand years ago, and their current style of armor had only been in use for about a century.

"I'll stay put." Keith said with a shrug. He still needed to send the information that he had gathered to Kolivan, along with his mission report, but he'd just have to find some other way to do that.

...ugh. He was going to have to tell Kolivan that he'd let himself be spotted. He was _not_ looking forward to that.

"Thanks." The smile that Shiro flashed at him stung, just a little. "Lance was bad enough, we don't need anyone else getting hurt."

No thanks. Keith didn't want to go anywhere _near_ the healing pods- he didn't know what they'd pick up from him that shouldn't be there- or even worse, that they might detect him not being in his rightful body as being something that needed to be _cured_.

Slowly transforming back into his real self while trapped in a pod did _not_ sound like it would be a fun experience for him- or well, for _anyone_ , really, but for him especially. For all he knew, they'd just keep him there, frozen on ice.

Not an option he was real enthused about.

"In the meantime," Allura spoke up again, "...we've all had a very stressful day. I think it would be for the best if we all got some rest. You especially, Shiro. Are you certain that you do not want to go into a pod as well?"

"I'm fine, princess." Shiro told her, shaking his head. "I'm not that badly hurt. But thanks."

"We _are_ still going to go back to the Balmera, right?" Hunk piped up. "Cause you know... I did _kind of_ promise Shay and all."

"Of course we will. Voltron will not abandon those who are in need." Allura told him with a smile. "But we'll need to recheck all of the Castle's systems before we can leave. Who knows that having that Galra crystal put into the system has done to them."

"Right, got it." Hunk said with a nod. He didn't look totally satisfied with that, but he'd accept it. "In that case, I'm going to head to the kitchen to get some food goo, and then I'm gonna crash. It's been a _long_ day."

"You _must_ be tired, if you're settling for the food goo." Pidge observed, getting to their feet. "I'm going to see if I can recover any data from the sentries, and then I'll probably hit the sack myself."

"Good plan." Shiro said, nodding his head as he got to his feet. "What about you, Keith?"

"I'm fine." Keith shrugged. "Probably head to the training deck for awhile."

There was a strain to Shiro's expression that told him that wasn't... quite the right answer. Ugh, right. Humans needed eight hours of sleep, didn't they? He kept forgetting.

He was already pushing it by needing three hours- most Galra only needed two, and he could only assume it was different for him due to being a runt. But _eight_? He couldn't even begin to wrap his head around wasting eight hours a day asleep. It was just such a waste! How did they ever manage to get anything done!?

"Well alright," Shiro said finally, reaching out to pat his shoulder, clearly having decided to not press the issue. "...just promise me you'll get some rest once you're done."

"Promise." Keith lied.


	10. impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that she'd actually met him, she could believe it. Keith's temper had made itself well known since day one. All in all, he seemed to largely live up to the near mythology that he'd left behind in his wake.
> 
> If she had to say one thing, though... it was that he was shorter than she'd expected him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, it's chapter nine! Time to fill in the space between episode seven and episode eight! And also time for a chapter that takes place entirely outside of Keith's POV, for a change. I kind of wanted to squeeze Allura in here somewhere, but it just... kind of didn't happen (and Lance, of course, is in a cryopod, so). As always, thanks for reading, and until next time!

Keith Kogane, man of mystery.

At least, that was the impression she had gotten of him back at the Garrison. She'd never actually met him- by the time she'd enrolled, he'd already been tossed out on his rear. Discipline issues, she'd heard- he'd apparently decked one of the commanding officers or something along those lines.

Now that she'd actually met him, she could believe it. Keith's temper had made itself well known since day one. All in all, he seemed to largely live up to the near _mythology_ that he'd left behind in his wake.

If she had to say one thing, though... it was that he was shorter than she'd expected him to be.

Oh sure, that was a thing for _her_ of all people to say. But given all of the stories about him, she'd thought he'd at least be taller than Lance- maybe around Hunk's height, if anything. As it turned out, he was the Number Four to her Number Five, and she hadn't missed the barely restrained guttural growl he'd made the first time Coran had dubbed him that.

Height issues. She understood. God, did she ever understand.

That said she... really didn't know much else about the guy. He seemed to put a distance between himself and the others, but based on what she'd heard from Lance, that was normal for him.

"So," she'd been told that she had quiet feet, but she didn't startle Keith as much as she secretly kind of hoped she would, "...elevator, huh?"

"Shut up." His grumble was low, deep in his throat. "What are you following me for anyways? I thought you were going to check the sentries."

"And I am." Pidge told him, nodding her head. "I left one in the training deck."

That got him to look back at her, one brow raised. "The training deck?"

"Yu _p_." Popping the _p_ , Pidge nodded her head. "Took one out with the invisible maze."

"The invisible maze?" Keith repeated, sounding both curious and incredulous.

"Is there an echo in here?" She couldn't help but quip. "I can show you, if you're interested. You know, since we're heading the same way and all."

"I-" Keith paused, lips twisting into a frown, before he shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not?"

"Great, because it was neat, and I'm _dying_ to share it with someone." Pidge told him, slipping into the training deck ahead of him. The shorted out sentry was exactly where she'd left it, and she gave it a slight punt to the head for good measure, just to check that it was really deactivated.

She could feel Keith's eyes on her as she retrieved it's blaster. He had an intense gaze that was kind of hard to miss- sometimes it almost felt like he was keeping them all under observation.

According to Lance, this was also normal. Well, _Keith_ Normal. Which she was starting to understand was different from well... _normal_ normal.

"Here, hold this." She told him, handing the blaster to him. He took it, with only the slightest arch to his brow giving way how he felt about it. "And stand like..."

Holding up a hand, she scooted up a few feet, measuring out the distance. "Here." She told him. "Stand right here, like at this exact spot."

"Should I be asking if this is safe?" Keith asked, his tone dry.

"No." Pidge simply supplied, taking his arm and lifting it up into the right position. He flinched when she'd touched him, his muscles stiffening at the unexpected contact, but she paid it very little heed.

"Is that a no, I shouldn't ask, or a no, this isn't safe?" Keith asked her.

"No." Pidge simply repeated, humming to herself as she brought up the little display. To have all this new, fantastic tech underneath her fingertips... it was almost like she'd died and gone to heaven, and she didn't even believe in heaven.

"Stand _real still_ for me now, Keith." Pidge told him, pressing a button. In a flash, the invisible walls of the maze sprang to life, severing the discarded blaster in half as they did so.

Keith didn't even so much as _flinch_. What the hell.

"Hm." Tilting his head, he studied where the wall had cut off the blaster, remaining almost infuriatingly impassive about the whole thing. "Not bad."

It was enough to almost make her sulk- sure, giving him a fright hadn't entirely been her objective, she'd just wanted to show off. But if that had been Hunk or Lance, oh man... it would have been so good. Was Keith's spine made out of solid steel or something?

"Thinking on the fly." Pidge told him. "Since some of us weren't trapped in elevators, you know."

Ah, at least she could rile a reaction out of him there. Did he _always_ kind of growl when he was frustrated? Weird.

"Yeah, well, I got out, didn't I?" Keith told her, tossing the ruined half of the blaster away. "It's not like I didn't help."

"Don't worry, I'm sure the next time the Castle gets invaded by the Galra, you'll have your time to shine." Pidge told him, squatting down next to the remains of the shorted out sentry. Odds were, it's systems had been entirely scrambled, but out of the sentries that had invaded the Castle, it was the one most likely to have something remaining. If there was a chance that she might find _something_ , wouldn't it be best to at least try?

"Well hopefully there won't _be_ a next time." Keith told her- his tone almost strangely... guarded, in a way.

Again, weird.

Watching him out of the corner of her eye as she began work on the sentry, she saw a flash of red as he summoned his bayard. With how large the training deck was, he had no issue with putting a good amount of space between the two of them, and for the most part, she was content to leave him be.

Potential answers about her family were way more important to her than the Garrison's resident cryptid.

"Start training sequence." She faintly heard him say. "Level five."

Okay, _that_ she jolted her head up at. Wait, what? He was at _level five_ already? Didn't they all just get wiped out the other day by a Gladiator that was like... level _zero_? How in the hell was he already on par with one that was level five?

Seriously, what the hell was _with_ this guy?

* * *

The task of dealing with the body had fallen on him.

It was a grim one, indeed, but one that he had accepted with all due seriousness. They'd launch it into space, once they got airborne, and then that would be that.

Before that though, a through examination was in order. Given the mysteries that surrounded the death of the Galran officer, it was to be expected that the princess would wish to have _some_ light shed on this confusing enigma.

He already had a theory, of course. One that the evidence did seem to be supporting, at least at the moment.

The Galran officer- _Haxus_ , someone had supplied his name as- had been killed with a single blow, right to the throat. It was the angle of the attack that had caught his interest- it had come from down below, the assailant slashing upwards. It fit with what he'd seen in the video, brief though it was- lining up the mysterious masked _unknown_ with the castle-ship's walls was enough to tell them they weren't very tall.

Around Number Four's height, really.

Number Four, who had apparently been trained for just this sort of blow.

Number Four, who had been unaccounted for during almost the entire takeover.

Number Four, who had a telling habit of avoiding the castle-ship's cameras as much as possible, quite possibly without even fully realizing he was doing it.

Circumstantial evidence, Coran realized- that's all it was. According to what he'd heard from Allura, he'd been stuck in one of the elevators (no cameras there, no way to confirm or deny his story) near the entire time. He'd been quite flustered to admit that much, from the sound of it, so the idea that he'd be lying about it was... counterintuitive, to say the least.

Unless one was trying to hide a bigger secret.

He didn't understand why he didn't just come out with it, really. There would be no shame in admitting that he wasn't human- he and Allura certainly weren't, and the Earthlings treated them no differently. Following along with his theory that he had some kind of relation to a rebel group, there'd be no risk in admitting that either- on the contrary, Allura would likely be _thrilled_ to learn about an active rebel presence.

Perhaps Number Four's situation was not so clear cut.

Or perhaps he was simply mistaken, and Number Four and the _unknown_ were two different people. All he had to go on was a very brief video clip, and the split second in which Number Five had seen them.

Either way... perhaps it would be wise to root around a bit more in the history of the new red paladin. Just to be on the safe side. He still didn't think that Alfor's lion would have chosen a paladin that would bring them trouble, but it had been ten thousand years since then, so...

Well, it was always prudent to be cautious.

He'd ask tomorrow, though. After everything that had happened today, all of the paladins deserved a good rest- Number Four and all his mysteries included.

* * *

"You're asking me about Keith?"

Shiro had wondered just what it was that Coran had wanted to talk to him about so early in the morning- perhaps something about the near taking of the Castle, or about the strange masked figure that Pidge had run into. He hadn't expected it to be about _Keith_.

"It's just that linking one's minds has long since been a traditional paladin bonding exercise." Coran told him, and for a moment, Shiro struggled to place what it was that he meant. "But the five of you haven't done it even once, as of yet."

Oh. Frowning, he realized that he was talking about back when they had been trying to figure out how to first form Voltron. He'd sort of assumed that after both Keith and Pidge turned down the mind linking activity, that the matter had been dropped, as it hadn't been mentioned again since then.

Apparently not.

"And you want me to try and talk Keith into it?" Shiro asked, arching a brow.

"No, no." Coran said quickly. "Not that at all. I simply wish to understand."

"Understand?" Shiro asked. "Why Keith turned it down, you mean?"

"Yes. You and Number Four seem rather close, so I thought perhaps you could shed some light on the matter." Coran told him.

Fair enough, Shiro supposed. It struck him as a little odd that Coran's focus seemed to be only on _Keith_ , when Pidge had also refused the exercise- but he had been the first one to refuse, so it did make some small amount of sense.

"Well, I don't know about _close_." Shiro admitted. " _I'd_ like to think we are, but Keith might have an entirely different impression."

"He's... he's not all that great about letting other people in." He added, after a moment's thought. "And I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about discussing him when he's not around. He's... been through some pretty heavy stuff."

He didn't know for sure, of course. Keith didn't talk about it. But his admission on the training deck had confirmed that he was on the right track with his suspicions.

"Heavy?" Coran's brows furrowed in a clear lack of understanding. "Like the weight?"

"Oh, it's..." Trailing off, Shiro mulled over how best to put it. "Keith's... dealt with some things that kids his age shouldn't have to."

"Ah." A look of understanding now dawning on Coran's face, he seemed to give an almost sage nod. "Yes, I can understand that a bit. And that makes him... hesitant to let others in?"

"To say the least." Shiro told him. "Sometimes I'm still surprised he let _me_ in."

"In any case," shaking his head, Shiro gave Coran something of a rueful smile, "I don't think we'll be doing that particular bonding exercise until Keith is ready for it. It... might take awhile."

"Oh yes, of course." Nodding his head, Coran returned his expression with one very much the same. "Forcing him seems like it might only damage the team's bonds, not help it. Wouldn't want that."

"No we wouldn't." Shiro agreed. "That aside, did you get anything on our guest last night?"

"Guest?" Coran frowned, before what he'd meant dawned on him. "Oh! No, I'm afraid not much. There were some traces of luxite in the wound, which is worth noting, but other than that, I'm afraid there's just not any real leads."

"Luxite?" Shiro asked.

"Ah yes, it's a rare metal. One of the rarest, in fact!" Coran supplied. "There was only one planet it could be sourced from, and it doesn't even exist anymore."

"That's... definitely something worth noting then." Shiro said, raising his brows. "Any ideas as to where someone might get that sort of thing?"

"None at all." Coran said. "But I have been sleeping for ten thousand years."

"Ah. Right." He'd almost forgotten that. It only made sense that they wouldn't have the most up to date information. "Well, hopefully nothing comes of it."

"One can only hope." Coran said. "Well, I'll leave you to it, Number One. Still have to work on scrubbing all that Galra crystal energy out of the system, and all!"

Watching as the Altean man quickly retreated out of the door, Shiro couldn't help but frown. That had been... a bit odd. He'd seemed awfully interested in Keith all of a sudden. Why would he...?

Wait.

He couldn't- he couldn't think that _Keith_ had anything to do with yesterday's intruder, could he?

That... that didn't sit right with him, not at all. Was it just because he'd been unaccounted for during most of the castle-ship's invasion? Keith was a lot of things- but he wasn't a _liar_. He'd _seen_ him try and lie before, and quite frankly, he was kind of awful at it.

Besides, someone with Keith's pride wouldn't have admitted to be stuck in an elevator if that wasn't honest to god where he actually was.

Shiro didn't like the implications of this. Still, maybe Coran was just trying to cover all of his bases- or maybe he was just overthinking things, and he really was asking for the reason he'd said he was.

Either way, he suddenly found himself filled with the urge to seek out Keith.

* * *

Even when set in an entirely different face, Kolivan recognized that expression right away.

Humans, it seemed, with their defined pupils, were all the more obvious when trying to avoid eye contact- and Kyix was no exception to this. The purple eyes of his assumed form were busy trying to look anywhere they could that wasn't straight into his eyes, and for Kolivan, that was sign enough that he'd done something that he would have cause to be displeased with.

Sure enough, his hunch was right.

"Listen," Kyix began, "...in my defense, it wasn't on purpose."

In that moment, Kolivan felt far less like the leader of a secret network of rebel spies, and far more like an exasperated father figure.

(It was not, technically, wrong.)

"You showed yourself in front of them."

"Just one!" Kyix protested. "And not even for very long!"

"You should have heard them coming."

"With _these_ ears?" Lifting his free hand to one of his pale, rounded ears, Kyix squinted. "I can only hear like, _half_ my normal range."

A decent reason, as they went, Kolivan was forced to admit. He was aware that Kyix's current human form provided him with certain... limitations that he would not otherwise possess. What he lacked was mindfulness of this fact- despite being a new constant in his life, he never seemed to quite remember it.

"Look, they didn't know it was _me_." He told him. "They still don't."

"You've still put yourself at risk." Kolivan noted. "If this were any other mission, your life could have been in jeopardy."

"I know. I know that." Letting out a frustrated sigh, he leaned back in his chair- he seemed to be sending his mission report from _inside_ of the red lion. There was a level of audacity to it that was uniquely Kyix. "It won't happen again."

He levels his gaze with him as he says that, finally- and Kolivan believes that he means it. Whether or not he can carry through with it is something that remains to be seen.

"Do not let it. Now," one hand bringing up the contents of the data file that had been sent to him, Kolivan narrowed his eyes in thought, giving it a cursory scan, "...as for the information you have sent us, we will go over it thoroughly."

"Understood." Giving him a curt nod, Kyix's lips set into a tight frown. "What of Sendak?"

It's a question that Kolivan allows himself to ponder over- according to Kyix's report, the Altean princess had decided to put the commander into cold storage. A risky move, he thought, and not one that he would have made. The need for information was understood, but it did not seem like the wisest of choices.

"Let him be." Kolivan told him. "The paladins will be on high alert now due to your error," and he didn't miss the way the youngling winced at his choice of words, but he did not allow this to hold him back, "...so if something were to happen to him, it would only increase the atmosphere of suspicion."

"I don't like it." Kyix admitted. "We should have just killed him."

"For the sake of maintaining your cover, perhaps it is better that you didn't." Kolivan observed. "Based on the information that you have sent me, going for the killing blow could have had a negative impact amongst the paladins."

Three children, all of whom had never needed to, and one former gladiator, who refused to as much as he had been able.

"They'll have to learn eventually." Kyix said, narrowing his eyes. "This is war."

"Yes." And for a moment, he found himself briefly regretting that they lived in such a world where even such a small one had to be taught to take lives. "They will."

* * *

Not in his room.

Not in the lounge.

Not in the dining room, nor the kitchen.

Not on the training deck.

Not on the bridge.

He'd done this exact march before already, and it had just lead to him learning that Keith had left the castle-ship- _with_ the red lion, even. Still, he had one more place that he hadn't checked yet- and that was the aforementioned lion's hangar.

He was almost ninety percent sure that Keith _slept_ in his lion. The sheets on his bed looked as if they hadn't been touched since it had been given to him, and if he hadn't been told it was Keith's room, he'd have never have known. The only thing indicating that anyone actually lived in it was the familiar red jacket hanging from a hook on the wall.

It also seemed like exactly the sort of thing Keith would do. There was no place on the castle-ship safer- and Keith, who had at least ten different emergency escape plans from the Garrison (that he _knew_ of, he was willing to bet there were still more), was definitely someone who valued the idea of feeling safe.

Back at the Garrison, where he had been forced to share a room, he'd slept with a knife under his pillow. He knew that, because it was always among the reasons why his (numerous) roommates had requested a transfer to a different room. In addition to keeping such scant hours, Keith was also a light sleeper- and did _not_ take kindly to being woken.

At this hour, Keith was probably already awake- which was good, because that was an obstacle that Shiro _still_ hadn't gotten past before he'd left Earth. Being twice Keith's size did absolutely _nothing_ to keep him from being overpowered- he'd left Earth with a hand print shaped bruise on his wrists.

(No thin line on his throat- Keith had realized who he was before he'd drawn the knife, which was... progress, in it's own way.)

"Keith?" Calling out his name as he made his way into his hangar, Shiro first checked to ensure that the red lion was actually still there. To his relief, it was- though that didn't necessarily mean that Keith hadn't left the Castle.

Still, it looked like _someone_ was in the lion, at least. Making his way over towards it, he watched it with a small degree of caution, wondering if it would let him in. It was sentient, to some degree, and if Keith were in there because he thought it was safe, the red lion might respond in kind by keeping everyone else out.

It didn't look like he had to worry. No sooner than had he approached it, a familiar figure came down it's ramp.

"Shiro?" Keith blinked, looking more than a little surprised to see him. "Something wrong?"

"Just looking for you." Shiro told him, giving him a small smile.

"What, thought I'd wandered off?" Keith asked, a trace of one on his own face. "You told me to stay put."

"I tell you a lot of things." Shiro observed, arching a brow. "You don't always listen."

"I listen like, eighty percent of the time." Keith protested.

"Mm, more like seventy percent." Shiro told him. "You eaten anything yet?"

"Tried to." Keith said, his brows knitting in a familiar expression of confusion. "Hunk pushed me out of the kitchen. Something about it not being ready yet."

Ah, right. Hunk's current pet project, Shiro thought. He could only wish him luck- he'd barely managed to make so much as a dent when it came to Keith's... less than stellar eating habits.

"Well, it might be by now." Shiro told him. "Let's go check. Unless," gaze falling down on his exposed arms, his lips curled into a frown, "...did you want to fetch your jacket from your room first?"

Keith merely blinked, as if he didn't understand the question. "Why?"

"I-" Opening and closing his mouth, Shiro shook his head. If Keith wasn't ashamed of his own scars, he sure as hell wasn't going to _teach_ him to be. "No, it's nothing. Just thought you might be cold."

"Oh." Keith blinked again. "No."

Smiling to himself, Shiro reached out a hand to ruffle the red paladin's hair, ignoring the faint grumble it earned him. "C'mon. Let's go see what Hunk's whipped up."

"Better be worth it." Keith muttered. "It's just food."

"I wouldn't let Hunk hear you say that." Shiro told him. "Just humor him, Keith."

"Humor-?" Brows furrowing together, Keith seemed to frown. "I'm not trying to make a joke."

Blinking, it took Shiro a moment to realize that Keith wasn't familiar with that phrase. His English was so good at times, that it was easy for him to forget it wasn't his first language. He'd been a lot worse about phrases and figures of speech when he'd first met him, had even started using them more, but every so often, he still ran into one that befuddled him. "Oh. It means, just to uh... to go along with what he's doing."

Keith's frown lingered for a moment longer, still looking unconvinced. "I still don't get it."

"Food is important to Hunk." Shiro told him. "This is just his way of trying to get to know you. I wouldn't worry about it too much."

"Mm." He didn't look thrilled about it, but he seemed to accept what he was saying, at least. "If you say so."

"I do." Shiro said. "Now let's get you something to eat."

* * *

"Oh hey, Keith! There you are!"

Beaming from ear to ear, Hunk was honestly kind of glad that he'd wandered back into the kitchen of his own volition- apparently tracking him down was like, the hardest thing ever. Catching sight of Shiro in the door frame, he watched as the older man gave him a small nod of acknowledgment, before he went about his own way.

"After you chased me out earlier." Keith noted, arching a brow.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Hunk told him, wincing a little at his tone. "They weren't ready yet."

"What wasn't ready yet?" Keith asked, his nose seeming to crinkle, brows furrowing. "And why do I smell something _sweet_?"

Wow, good nose.

"That, my friend, is pancakes." Hunk told him, before pausing. "Or well, the closest approximation that I could get to pancakes. Color's a little off, and the texture could use some work, but the flavor is there, and that's really what matters the most."

Well, he'd said _flavor_ , but he'd actually dialed back on just that. It went against his every instinct as a chef, but Shiro had said that Keith wasn't good with like... flavor in general, so he fought back down the urge to make them as sweet as possible, and had left the overall flavor of them rather... mild, all things considered.

Take it nice and slow, Hunk thought. Throwing Keith straight into the deep end would _not_ do him any favors.

"Pancakes." Keith repeated. "You mean like... cake? That's not a breakfast food, Hunk."

Oh no, he'd been afraid of this.

"You don't know what _pancakes_ are?" Hunk asked. "You know, like hotcakes?"

"Hot? Shouldn't you cool them down?" Keith asked, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"I... no I mean, they're not- well, I mean they _are_ , they _are_ kind of hot, that's kind of the _point_ , but..." Realizing that he was babbling, Hunk heaved a sigh. "Griddle cakes? _Flapjacks_?"

"...are these all names for the same thing?" Keith asked, looking uncertain of himself.

"Yes." Hunk said simply. "Yes they are."

"Oh." Keith blinked, slightly tilting his head. "And you made them. For me."

"Yes, I made them for you." Hunk told him. "And well, for me too, but I used a different batter for mine, you know, just the way I like it and all."

"That still doesn't explain the sweet smell." Keith pointed out.

"Well, they're sweet." Hunk told him. "So... yeah."

"...but it's breakfast?"

Oh no, it was worse than he could have ever imagined. Yeah, sure, he knew that the Garrison was not _exactly_ a hot spot for sweets- pretty much like, _all_ of their breakfast items were on the savory side, but... had Keith _seriously_ never heard of eating sweet things for breakfast before?

"Listen, why don't you just sit down, and I'll bring them to you." Pulling out a chair, Hunk gave him what at this point he was almost sure was a pleading look.

For half a second, he almost thought Keith would refuse- before the red paladin made a noise that he couldn't quite pinpoint, and took the seat offered to him. Putting up with the feeling of his eyes boring into his back, Hunk busied himself getting the more-or-less pancakes ready, placing them in front of Keith.

"Normally there's syrup to go with them, but I couldn't really find any good substitutes for it." Hunk told him, setting down his own plate and taking the seat next to Keith. "Nothing can really beat the taste of maple syrup."

Keith said nothing- only staring at the pancakes, his nose seeming to crinkle. He glanced over towards Hunk, and then back at the pancakes, and then- oh god, Keith _no_.

"Uh, you're gonna use your hands, huh?" Hunk asked, watching as Keith just... grabbed one of the pancakes with his hands. "That's... that's cool."

Dropping the pancakes, Keith turned his full focus on him- and now suddenly, Hunk regretted saying anything at all. He seemed to almost be... waiting as if he were expecting him to show him what he was supposed to be doing.

He was starting to think Keith had been raised by wolves.

"Uh..." Trailing off a little, Hunk picked up his own silverware, meekly cutting off a piece of his own pancake and shoving it into his mouth. With a small nod of his head, he watched as Keith frowned, mimicking exactly what he did.

"It's sweet." He muttered, swallowing his first bite.

"Yeah, yeah, thought we'd established that." Hunk told him. "I... do you not like it? Because I could still make something else."

Oh, wordless stare time again. Okay, he could deal with that.

At least Keith took another bite. "No," he said finally, breaking the all too awkward silence, "...I mean- you did make it for me."

And that... kind of touched him, actually. Maybe Keith was actually a nicer guy than he'd given him credit for.

"I... actually, I was kind of hoping you could maybe do me a favor?" Hunk almost hesitated to ask, still not quite sure what had brought the idea on.

"A favor?" Tilting his head, Keith cast a curious look in his direction. "Depends."

"I uh, kind of want you to teach me how to fly."


	11. flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In many ways, being a paladin of Voltron was almost the antithesis of being a Blade. To stand out in the open, even on such a primitive planet as Arus, with his face exposed to the world went against everything that he knew- and he was sure that the only reason he wasn't more uncomfortable with it was because this wasn't his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here's chapter ten, also known as the chapter where Keith spends a portion of it internally screaming. Next chapter, we head to the Balmera! And boy oh boy, won't that be fun for Keith (it will not be fun for Keith).
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!

"Well?" Though Allura held herself straight to hide the worry that she surely felt, he could see right through her. "Did you find anything out, Coran?"

If there was anything that he could do to spare the princess this fate, then he would gladly do it. But alas, there was nothing- all he could do was provide her his staunch support as they faced what was sure to be a grueling war. He could only hope it would be enough.

"Not much, I'm afraid." Stroking one end of his mustache, Coran frowned. "There were trace elements of luxite in the wound, but other than that, the autopsy didn't turn up any results we couldn't have already figured out ourselves."

"I suspected as much." Allura said with a sigh, clearly fighting the urge to let her shoulders slump in disappointment. "But at least we have some idea as to what killed him. Luxite was rare in our time, I cannot imagine how much harder to get its become since then."

"Indeed." Coran noted, folding his hands behind his back. "If we can find who might be selling it in this day and age, we might be able to find a clue as to our intruder's identity."

He would do anything for his princess, yes, it was true. And in a way, he _was_ doing something for her right now, even if it was by virtue of not being entirely honest with her. This new team of paladins was untested, untried- and well, _new_. They needed to learn to trust each other, and the princess needed to learn to trust them- if he were to start sowing the seeds of mistrust, it could only end badly.

Especially since he failed to believe that Alfor's lion could make an error in it's judgement.

The princess too, he thought. She'd likely sensed something in Number Four that had made her choose him for her father's lion, out of all the others. He couldn't speak to what it was- he didn't possess the same kind of abilities as his princess- but he knew them well enough to put his faith in them.

If- and that was an _if_ \- Number Four did turn out to be a danger to the team, the moment he discovered anything that would indicate that, he would not hesitate to take action. Thus far, he'd done nothing of the sort- other than lie about his whereabouts, which was hardly a crime.

Not when he'd taken down one of the Castle's invaders, all without seeking credit nor glory for it.

 _If_ Number Four was the unknown, of course. He still couldn't entirely be sure. Theories were all well and good, but he couldn't just go jumping into conclusions just because they sounded like they were correct. That just wasn't how it worked.

"Not to mention what their intentions might be." Allura mused. "Do not get me wrong, Coran, I _am_ grateful that they dispatched one of the Galra for us, but I cannot be at ease with the idea that someone was able to slip into the Castle so easily, especially not since they chose to hide their face."

"No, no, I understand, princess." Coran told her, giving her a small smile. "How did it go with the Arusians?"

"I offered them assistance in rebuilding their village, but they told us that they would be able to recover from the assault just fine." Allura told him. "And that they did not see anyone matching the person in the video."

"Ah, well." Coran merely gave her a rueful smile. "You tried, princess."

"I still cannot help but blame myself for this." Allura said, a tight frown set on her face. "I told them that Voltron would protect them, and look where that got them. Their village, burned."

"But none of their lives taken." Coran reminded her. "And that's the most important thing."

"Yes." Allura paused, regret in her eyes. "We are very lucky it did not come to that. For the Arusians, and for Lance."

Ah. Yes.

Number Three's actions were not lost on him- he'd been the one he had been trying to protect, after all. He hadn't thought at all about how Alteans were built more sturdy than humans, he'd simply acted. He should have been the one shielding _him_ , not the other way around.

"Number Three chose his course of action." Coran reminded her.

"I know that, Coran, but it is just..." Allura trailed off, her brows furrowing. "How is it that they're all _children_ , Coran?"

"Not all." Coran reminded her. "Number One's an adult in the eyes of his own species. But... yes, I do admit, they're all quite young."

Untested, untried, knowing nothing of war.

(Except for Number Four, who seemed to know nothing _but_ war.)

"But they were all brought here." Coran told her. "Young though they are, they are the chosen paladins. It's our role to guide them as best we can."

He wanted to say that _Allura_ was too young for all of this herself- but he would not say that. He knew she knew, and that she had decided to bury any such thoughts deep inside her, so that she could stand tall and face everything that was thrown at her. She was brave that way, his princess. Always was.

Alfor would be so proud.

"I know." Allura told him, turning away from him, drawing in a deep breath and squaring her shoulders once more. "Hunk requested permission to leave the Castle just a short while ago. It would seem that Keith is going to help him improve on his piloting skills. They just left in the yellow lion."

"Number Two and Number Four, eh?" Coran asked. "Well, I'm sure no harm will come to them, princess."

After all, if the unknown truly _was_ Number Four, he'd no reason to believe he had any intention of harming any of them.

Coran was no warrior, but he'd been around enough to know.

If he'd wanted them dead, they'd be dead.

* * *

The yellow lion, Keith thought to himself, felt different from either the blue or red lion.

It wasn't as if he could feel it's energy as strongly as he did his own, but he could make it out- a gentle hum that was soft, reassuring, _warm_ , not entirely unlike the paladin who piloted it. He couldn't recall a time when he'd felt this strangely relaxed- not since before he'd undergone the trials, not since he'd become a proper Blade.

He liked it here, he thought.

He didn't know how Hunk talked Allura and Shiro into letting him take his lion out, but whatever he had said, it worked.

"So why not Lance?"

"Huh?" Sparing him only the slightest of glances, as if he were afraid to look away from what was in front of him, Hunk frowned. "Why not Lance what?"

"Why not ask Lance to teach you how to fly?" Folding his arms in front of him, Keith leaned back against the wall, hovering close to the cockpit's seat. "You're... _friends_ , right?"

Other than the obvious fact that he was in a healing pod right now, he had no idea why Hunk would ask _him_ of all people for help. Even if it wasn't Lance, there was always Shiro- who definitely would have been a better pick than either of them.

"It's because we're friends." Hunk told him. "I need someone who will be honest with me."

Honest.

That was not a word he would have considered to describe himself, but he realizes that Hunk is using it in terms of his frankness about his skills. In that case, yes, he would be honest. Doing anything less would be an insult.

"Why the sudden interest?" Keith asked. He didn't know Hunk well, but it felt almost like something had changed in him since he had returned from the Balmera.

"I... you should have seen it, Keith." Hunk told him, averting his eyes. "How things were on the Balmera, how the Galra treated Shay and her people. They don't even know what freedom _is_."

He knows. He's been to a Balmera before- only once, as Kolivan never sent him to one again. He'd sensed it dying underneath his feet, a feeling which he'd forced back until the very end, when he couldn't take it any longer, and had nearly gotten _himself_ killed as a result.

And now they were going back to one.

He'd be fine though- he was older now, he knew how to deal with it better. He'd been raised all his life in the main base of the order, just stepping foot on something _alive_ had been an experience for him the first time. It had been an unexpected hiccup that Kolivan had not anticipated, but he'd spent two years now on a planet, and he'd since adapted. Earth had been particularly vibrant, even out in the desert.

He'd been able to handle the beast that the empire sent after them- he'd be able to handle going to a dying Balmera.

"And I just _left_ Shay there."

Dimly, he realized that Hunk had been talking the whole time. With a slight twinge of guilt, Keith realized that he'd drowned him out without meaning to. Habit- most of the humans he spoke to had nothing interesting to say.

"There wasn't anything you could have done." Keith told him, lips set in a tight frown. This was one of the lessons of war- that not everyone could be saved.

"I-" Hunk began. "I mean, you're probably right, but... it still doesn't feel _right_ , you know? It's like I just abandoned her to save myself."

"From the sound of it, it's what she wanted." Keith said with a shrug. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, but I did." Hunk told him. "That's the thing. If she hadn't gotten mixed up with me-"

"-then you would have never gotten the crystal." Keith pointed out, his tone cool. "And Lance would be dead."

Ah. That expression. He'd said the wrong thing, clearly.

"I mean... you're right, I know you're right, but..." Narrowing his eyes, Hunk trailed off, his grip on the controls growing tighter. "Do you really have to put it like that?"

"Like what?" Keith blinked.

"Like... like it has to be a _choice_." Hunk told him. "Like you can only save one or the other, you can't save both. Why can't _that_ be an option?"

The question hung in the air between them, engulfing the cockpit of the yellow lion in silence. Keith didn't have an answer to that- at least, not one that Hunk wanted to hear. Part of him wanted to be frank with him, to tell him that this was war, and a war was no place for _ideals_.

Part of him wanted to tell him that there was a strong chance Shay was already dead, and the rest of her family along with her. It was just the simple truth- but no, he couldn't tell him that. He was putting his faith in his promise to come back for her, that she would still be there when he did, and even though Keith didn't understand it, he seemed to be drawing strength from this.

It gave him determination- something which thus far, he'd been lacking.

Better to bite his tongue and go against his own instincts to hope for the best. If Voltron was to live up to it's legends, then it's paladins needed to grow.

(Himself included, he dimly realized.)

"Sometimes... sometimes it's just like that." Keith finally said. "Sometimes you just can't get everything you want."

"Yeah, but..." Hunk began. "I mean, I think you should at least _try_ , right?"

"Well..." Tilting his head, Keith's frown deepened. "Yeah, I mean- I guess you should still try."

That seemed to satisfy Hunk, the yellow paladin giving him a firm nod of his head. "Then I'm going to try. Try as hard as I can to save Shay- and all of her people. I mean... that's- that's what paladins of Voltron do, right? They save people?"

Keith blinked, briefly wondering why the hell he was asking _him_. "I guess? I mean, I don't really know that much about _saving_ people. Just-"

_Just killing them. Letting them die._

Flinching, Keith realized what he was about to say, quickly snapping his mouth shut. He didn't know why he had been about to say something so personal, to be so open about something he really should not be, for any number of reasons. Maybe it was just... maybe it was just something about being in the yellow lion, something about the calming energy it gave off.

Like he could say anything, and somehow, it would all turn out okay.

Suddenly, he wasn't sure if he liked being here all that much anymore.

"Aw, c'mon, that's not true." Hunk told him, beaming at him as if he hadn't realized what he was just about to admit to. "I mean, you saved Shiro, right?"

"I guess?" Keith ventured. "But that was just against the Garrison."

"Yeah, but like... I just wanted to run away." Hunk told him. "Head back to the Garrison and pretend I didn't see anything. You actually went and _did_ something about it."

Yeah, against orders, Keith thought to himself. It had brought him way more trouble than he'd bargained for.

"And back with that robeast, without that sword of yours, we'd have been totally screwed." Hunk continued. "So I mean... I guess what I'm trying to say here is that you shouldn't sell yourself so short."

Was... Was Hunk trying to cheer him up? Brows knitting together, Keith had trouble wrapping his head around the notion. He didn't understand anything about him, didn't know anything about him, and yet... here he was, trying to make him feel better, because he thought he was upset about something.

He really was perfect for the yellow lion.

"You're not too bad yourself." Keith told him with a shrug. "I mean, you always seem like you want to run away, but you still come through in the clutch."

It was the honest truth- he nearly hadn't made it out of Balmera a free man, much less _alive_ , and here he was, wanting to go _back_ to it. Just a day ago, he wouldn't have even thought Hunk capable of it.

"Aw shucks, Keith." His cheeks tinting a shade of red- _blushing_ , Keith recalled- Hunk rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks, buddy."

 _Buddy_? Arching a brow at the term of endearment, he couldn't help but wonder when they'd become friends. Brushing it off as some weird human quirk, Keith shook his head, resting a hand on the back of Hunk's seat.

"So," and there was a faint gleam in his eye, almost leaping at the chance to teach someone for a change, "...you want me to teach you how to _fly_ , huh?"

* * *

He'd kept Hunk so busy that the yellow paladin didn't have a chance to ask anymore questions.

Okay, sure, maybe his training methods had been a little on the harsh side- but they were fighting a war here. Compared to how he'd been taught, he'd actually been going _easy_ on the human. Thace had drilled him day and night, until he practically lived and breathed it- just leaving the base alone required an expert level of skill.

If there was one thing that he had absolute confidence in, it was his skill as a pilot.

At least now Hunk would be better prepared for the task that he'd set before them- freeing the Balmera.

Balmera X-95-Vox, to be exact. He'd sent Kolivan the coordinates, and was expecting him to get back to him at any time with whatever information the Blade had on it. He didn't expect it to be much- the Balmera that the Blades usually depended on were in a completely different section of space.

He wasn't sure what he would do with it exactly. Sneak it into the castle-ship's systems? No, that would make it way too obvious that their _unknown_ was still hanging around, and furthermore, had been monitoring their activities- which he was, but they didn't need to know that.

He guessed the information could at least be useful to him, if nothing else, serving as something of a primer. He didn't like going into a mission not knowing what they were going to be dealing with- the Blades never ran a mission if they didn't have enough intelligence to back it up. Unnecessary risk was not something they could afford, not if they wanted to survive.

(All the risks _he_ took were calculated. It was just... sometimes his math might have been a little off, that was all.)

Voltron, on the other hand, appeared to be all about unnecessary risk.

In many ways, being a paladin of Voltron was almost the antithesis of being a Blade. To stand out in the open, even on such a primitive planet as Arus, with his face exposed to the world went against everything that he knew- and he was sure that the only reason he wasn't more uncomfortable with it was because this _wasn't_ his face.

The very idea of _going back_ for someone- to put your own life at risk again after barely managing to get away- was contradictory to everything that he had been taught growing up. In spite of his words to Hunk back in the yellow lion, he still didn't think the whole affair was a good idea- but he didn't want to be the only voice of dissent.

It would make it too obvious that he _wasn't_ one of them.

A paladin of Voltron in name only, he thought.

When he'd taken that hit on the Balmera, years ago, nobody had come to save him. He'd saved himself, one hand pressed up against where the laser had grazed him, his blade clutched tightly in his other. He'd barely gotten to the transport in time, and he knew that if he hadn't made it, he'd be on his own to escape.

There was no bitterness in it. That was just the way things were- the way things had to be. If someone went back for him, it could have been _two_ soldiers lost, instead of just one. The mission before the individual.

Knowledge or death.

Here... here things were different. Sure, he'd gone to rescue Shiro from the Garrison, but he'd meant what he'd said- they were _just_ the Garrison. He could raid their whole complex and not be caught- he _had_ raided the whole complex and not been caught. They weren't the Galra Empire, bred into victory or death, just a primitive species who barely even knew that extraterrestrial life even _existed_.

Would they expect him to go back for them if one of them were caught? _Could_ he go back for them if one of them were caught?

He didn't have the answer to that. Maybe it was best that he not think on it.

He'd other things to do at the moment anyways.

Slipping into the red lion's cockpit, Keith placed a hand on one of it's walls, a faint trace of a smile on his lips. It was funny, really, that the loophole he'd found was his own lion. It... didn't seem to care that he was essentially spying on the rest of the team, telling him in not so many words that he would be safe here, and no eyes would notice what he did while inside.

He was a farce of a paladin, but at least his bond with his lion was real. That was enough, right?

(No, some small part of him knew, it wasn't.)

* * *

"I _told you_ it was a bad idea."

"You did."

"I _told you_ he was going to be Spartan."

"You were right."

"I _told you_ that you should have asked Shiro instead."

"Yup. Yup, you were probably right about that too."

Groaning, Hunk rested his head, slumping down as far as he could on the lounge's all too comfy couch, which somehow was still not nearly comfy enough, not right now at any rate. He didn't think that piloting was something that could make him sore, but apparently, he'd been wrong about that.

Oh man, had he ever been wrong.

"Do you at least feel more confident about flying the yellow lion?" Pidge asked, slipping into the spot next to him.

"I- yeah, actually." Hunk admitted. "Keith was... Keith was intense, but I can't honestly say that he wasn't good at the whole teaching thing. I can kind of get why the Garrison never tried pairing him up to teach any freshman now though."

"That bad, huh?" Pidge asked, leaning back against the couch. "I never knew him back at the Garrison, you know. He was already gone by the time I transferred in. Is he really as good as they say?"

"He aced like... every flight simulator there was." Hunk told her. "They even modeled more than a few of them off of his runs. Don't tell Lance I said this, because he'll take it personally, but Keith is like... next level."

Letting out a low whistle, Pidge allowed herself to be impressed. "I wonder where he learned to fly."

"Dunno." Hunk said, shrugging his shoulders. "We never talked much back at the Garrison. Or like... at all. Outside of Shiro, I think he mostly just kept to himself."

"Ah yes, Shiro." Pidge said, an impish grin on her face. "The Keith tamer."

"The Keith what now?"

Hunk swore he felt his heart practically leap out of his chest- and he did, actually, physically leap off the couch. He didn't think of Shiro as the kind of guy who could sneak up on people, but apparently, he'd been wrong about that.

"Seriously though." Shiro said, a brow arched in what appeared to be amusement. "Is that... is that what people were calling me?"

"Kind of?" Pidge ventured. "I mean, I heard it once or twice."

"I've heard it too, like, a few times." Hunk supplied, deciding wisely to not state that he knew both who and where it had come from in the first place.

(Lance. It was Lance.)

"Huh." Letting out a faint snort, Shiro seemed amused at the prospect. "Never heard it myself."

"I... kind of think nobody ever wanted to say it to your face?" Hunk ventured. "But I mean- you were like, basically the only person Keith ever talked to."

"That's not true." Shiro told him. "He talked to Matt sometimes, too."

"Wait." Pidge paused there, looking like she was trying to process that information. "You're saying he knew my _brother_?"

"Not very well." Shiro admitted. "They only spoke maybe two or three times. I don't think Matt ever got him out of his stray cat phase."

"Stray cat phase." Pidge repeated.

God, why was it so easy to visualize that?

Maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe Keith _hadn't_ been raised by wolves. Maybe he'd actually been raised by cats.

"Stray cat phase." Shiro said, giving her a firm nod of his head. "I was actually thinking about trying to introduce him to you when," and there was a pause here, a strain to his voice when he forced himself to continue, "...when we got back from Kerberos."

To her credit, Pidge didn't even flinch.

At least, not at the mention of Kerberos.

"Wait, _seriously_?" Pidge asked, her brows shooting right up. "You wanted to introduce me to Keith?"

"Sure, why not?" Shiro asked, giving her a simple shrug of his shoulders. "Matt told me you were having trouble connecting at your school, and Keith needed some friends, so I thought it would have been a good idea."

"Did... did Matt never mention him to you?" Shiro asked after a moment, a slight shred of hesitation in his voice. "I would have thought he would have..."

To which Pidge found herself flinching. It wasn't so much as Matt never having mentioned him to her, it was just kind of...

"Let's just say there's a slight, _very slight_ chance that I might have focused mostly on the science stuff Matt told me and kind of _maybe_ drowned everything else out." She admitted.

"Wow, Pidge," Hunk said, "...that's cold."

"Look, I-" Pidge began, but before she could get the chance to defend herself, the door to the lounge slid open, Coran striding in.

"Ah, there you are!" Heedless of the fact that he might be interrupting anything, the Altean man looked between the three of them. "Or well, there three of you are. Allura wanted me to tell you to gather in the medical ward. Seems Number Three will be waking up in a few doboshes!"

"Aw man, that's great news!" Hunk beamed.

"Yes, great news indeed." Coran told them. "Any chance you all know where Number Four is, though? I checked his room, and he's not there."

"...any chance Keith told you where he was going when the two of you parted ways, Hunk?" Pidge asked, casting a glance in his direction.

"Uh, not really." Hunk said.

"Right." Pinching the bridge of his nose, Shiro let out a long sigh. This was starting to become a trend he could do without. "Split up and find Keith?"

"Split up and find Keith."

* * *

Keith pretended he _totally_ knew that Pidge was a girl the whole time.

If he sent Kolivan a one sentence update later that day along the lines of ' _the green paladin is actually female_ ', they would never have to know.

(And Kolivan would never have to know about the twinge of guilt that manifested in the pit of his stomach at Shiro's words in regards to owning who you are.)

* * *

Kolivan had told him that Prorok had sent out a message to all scoundrels between Arus and the Balmera- to keep eyes on the sky for an Altean castle-ship, and that a reward would be offered for anyone who could capture either it, or one of the lions of Voltron. Classic caterpillar brows, he'd thought- making others do the bulk of the work for him.

With Sendak gone, he was probably hoping to edge into his territory, he figured. That was _also_ classic caterpillar brows.

When they picked up a distress signal on the way to the Balmera, it aroused his suspicions. He was just surprised he wasn't the _only_ one.

At least _someone_ had learned something from the near taking of the Castle, he thought, watching out of one eye as Nyma hooked Lance, line and sinker.

(Was that how he used that phrase? Eh, close enough.)

He'd transmitted a message back to the Marmora base while no one was looking, inquiring about the trio- Rolo, Nyma, and Beezer. Maybe their story was true, and maybe their craft had been damaged in a scuffle with Zarkon's forces- but maybe it wasn't, and maybe Nyma was using her charms to break past Lance's (admittedly thin, had he learned _nothing_ ) defenses.

Kolivan got back to him mere _seconds_ before Lance shot _them_ a message, telling them, surprise surprise, he'd taken Nyma for a ride, and then she'd taken him for one. Guess who had the blue lion now? Not Lance, that's who!

Forget how _he'd_ become a paladin- how the hell did _Lance_ manage to become one?

All because he couldn't keep it in his... in his- _agh_. Whatever how that phrase went. Who cares, it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting the blue lion back.

The lion that he, by the way, had _specifically been assigned_ to keep out of Zarkon's hands. And Lance had just handed it over! Just like that!

(Okay, so he hadn't _literally_ handed it over, but honestly? He'd let Nyma chain him to a tree. A tree! How did he _not_ notice she was going to do that?)

And then Rolo honestly thought he could lose him in an asteroid field? There was only one pilot in the order that was better than him, and that was the one who'd _taught_ him. Bastard had no idea who he'd put himself up against.

And of course, once he'd gotten the lion back, he just couldn't resist rubbing it in Lance's face a little. Childish? Maybe. Did he care? No.

The report back to Kolivan was short- it had to be. If he lingered too long in his lion before returning to the bridge, someone would come looking for him.

Kolivan had just looked exasperated. For once, Keith felt he understood him.

(Would he curb his own reckless behavior as a result? Nah.)


	12. balmera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay so, just to recount," Hunk piped up, anxiety clear in his voice, "...we're all trapped in the core of the Balmera, the Castle is under attack, the Galra are probably trying to steal our lions as we speak, and Keith is in some kind of weird trance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, here's the latest chapter! Aka the chapter in which Keith is totally fine, nothing's wrong, and everything is shipshape. And don't worry! Things are just going to get more fine from here, oh yes they will!
> 
> In other news, my dog got his stitches from his leg surgery taken out today... finally, he is free of the cone.

"Ah Number Four, just where I thought I'd find you!"

Actually, he didn't think he'd find him here at all, he'd just been kind of desperately hoping he would. Finding the elusive red paladin in the first place you looked for him seemed to have odds akin to winning a game of cards with King Alfor. It probably wasn't going to happen, but you felt inclined to try anyways.

He'd returned to the bridge with the others once the blue lion- and it's paladin- had been recovered, but at some point, he had vanished from it. Coran, always more than a little curious as to what their possible _unknown_ was up to when no eyes were on him, went looking for him, only to find him, for once, in the first place he looked- the training deck.

He hadn't said anything to him at first, not wanting to interrupt his session- only waiting until after he had dispatched the gladiator to call out to him. The boy had been so focused, that for once, he didn't seem to notice that he was being watched. His movements, typically fluid and possessing a certain grace, seemed a bit off. Something on his mind, perhaps, something troubling him.

"Coran?" Pausing to wipe some sweat from his brow, Keith visibly frowned at his sudden appearance. "Are we nearing the Balmera?"

"Almost there, not long now." Coran supplied, watching as Keith turned his sword back into a simple bayard, hooking it by his side.

"Could have just had Allura announce it over the castle's com system." Keith told him, draping the towel around his shoulders as he cracked open one of the water pouches. "Didn't need to come find me."

"Ah well, there's no harm in stretching one's legs a bit. After all, I've got to make up for ten thousand years' lack of exercise!" Coran told him, his words seeming to earn a faint trace of a smile from the otherwise stoic paladin. "Getting in a little training before the big mission?"

"Focus." Keith muttered, taking a long sip from the water pouch. "Need it to focus."

Ah yes, there it was. Guarded though he was, he hadn't missed the fact that Number Four had seemed troubled about something. He'd write it off as just nerves in regards to their first big mission, like the rest, but Number Four wasn't like the rest- thus then, it must have been something else.

"I'm sure you'll do just fine, m'boy." Coran reassured him. "No need to worry."

"I'm _not_ worried." Leveling his gaze on Coran, Keith's eyes narrowed. "I just- I just want to be prepared, that's all. We don't know what we're going to get when we get there."

Hm. He'd seem to have taken his words of reassurance almost as an accusation of some kind. Not at all what they'd been meant as, but he sensed it was better to not argue the point. "Nothing wrong with that. Quite wise, in fact!"

Keith held his gaze for a moment longer, before tearing it away, finishing off the water pouch. "Allura wants us to gather at the bridge, right?"

"That she does." Coran told him, giving him a firm nod. "We'll discuss a strategy there."

That seemed to earn him some form of low grunt as a reply, Keith stalked past him, scooping up his jacket from where he had discarded it on the floor. Tugging it on, he left the training deck without so much as another word to Coran.

Hm. He'd hoped for the chance to chat with him a little more, but it would seem that Number Four was going to remain as guarded as ever. Granted, he was like that to varying degrees to all the crew members, but it sometimes seemed like he was all the more wary of himself and Allura.

Strange, really. That was one of the hardest things about Number Four to pin down. Was it simply because he feared that they'd be able to see through him with all the more ease? Earth was not a space faring race, it seemed- from the sound of it, they'd only just made it to the edge of their own solar system, and there was no other sentient life in it outside of their own planet. It would only make sense that the Earthlings wouldn't expect that one of their number would be anything but.

It sounded reasonable enough, but it felt almost as if there were something missing.

Ah, well. With the assault on the Galra occupied Balmera just ahead, he didn't have the time to worry about such things. Number Four would do his part, just as he always had, and he didn't want to do anything that might chase the lad away.

Voltron needed it's red paladin, after all.

* * *

"Dude, Keith," Lance's voice just barely caught his ears, "...are you okay?"

Drawing in what he hopes isn't a ragged breath, Keith collected himself. It hadn't been so bad at first, when he'd still been in the red lion. It was only once they had descended into the tunnels, leaving their lions behind and pressing forward in their speeders, that he realized there might be a problem.

Still, he'd managed to keep it in, even though he was certain his knuckles were white underneath his paladin armor from how hard he was gripping his speeder's controls. He'd been on a Balmera before, and what he was feeling now was about the same thing he'd felt then- if this was all it was, then he could manage, somehow.

It was only once he got out of the speeder, feet touching the ground, did Keith realize that yeah- this was going to be a bigger problem than he'd thought.

He'd been on a Balmera before- but that Balmera and this Balmera were two entirely different creatures. That one had just been weak, but this one?

This one was _dying_.

It hit him like some kind of noxious fume, and he'd had to grip the edge of his speeder to keep his legs from buckling out underneath him. It was dying- and made him feel like _he_ was the one dying instead. Biting down hard on his lip, he used the pain as a means to help himself focus, if only just.

This was _not_ good.

But he couldn't let it get to him. He was on a mission, and he couldn't comprise the mission just because the energy of this place was getting to him. And he was with _Lance_ , of all people- the same Lance who had made fun of him for feeling the blue lion's energy in the desert, and who had never even thought about apologizing for it.

Like hell he was going to give the human any more fodder.

"I'm _fine_." Keith hissed, narrowing his eyes as he pushed away the feeling as much as he could. It wasn't much, but he could at least manage.

"You sure?" Lance asked, not seeming convinced. "Cause I'm pretty sure it looked like you were just about to fall over."

"Stood up too fast." Keith lied, gripping his bayard tighter. "Look, are we going to take care of these fighters or not?"

"Geez dude, I'm just trying to be nice." Holding up his hands, Lance could only frown- but at least it was enough to make him give up. What was he, worried about him? Lance didn't even _like_ him!

"Well save it." Keith told him. "Look, there's few enough sentries there that we can probably take them all out without too much of a problem."

Maybe. Hopefully. In prime condition he could do it with no trouble, but now... well, he'd managed before, and so he'd manage again.

(Okay, so he'd gotten _shot_ the last time, but it wasn't like it had been a direct hit or anything. And he was older now. He'd manage. He'd manage _just fine_.)

"Un-huh." Lance frowned. "Don't you remember all that stuff about the Balmera being a living," _it's dying under our feet_ , Keith wanted to supply, but he fought it back, "...creature? We can't just get involved in a firefight."

"You got a better plan?" Keith dryly asked, honestly not expecting one. This _was_ the same guy who had gotten himself chained to a tree not even a few hours ago.

"How about we sneak in, and then disable those hangar doors from the control room?" Lance suggested- and though Keith opened his mouth to retort about what a stupid plan that was, he quickly had to shut it again, astonished enough that he almost nearly forgot to feel like he was dying.

Wow. That earth saying about broken clocks was right.

"That's... _actually_ a good plan." Keith admitted, casting a suspicious eye towards the blue paladin. "Who are you, and what have you done with Lance?"

"Wow, mullet. _Wow_."

* * *

Keith did _not_ look good.

Oh sure, he said he was fine, and made a good show of it too. But there was a haziness to his eyes that made Lance think that his words were just that- words.

Racking his brain, he tried to recall if any of the shots from the guard tower had come close to the red lion. He'd been fine when they left the bridge together, so that was about the only thing that he could think of that would have had Keith staggering on his feet. And okay, sure, he wasn't staggering _now_ , but he had been before- and he knew he definitely hadn't imagined it.

Did Keith hit his head? Did he have some kind of a concussion? No, no, their helmets would have protected them from something like that.

Maybe... maybe he'd been fighting off a headache or something, and the battle had just made it worse? That was possible. Keith did seem to be the type to bottle things like that up and pretend they weren't a big deal- kind of like he was doing _right now_.

He wanted to say something more, to argue the point, but Keith insisted he was fine, and Lance got the feeling that insisting otherwise would not win him any favors. He'd... keep an eye on him, at least. Make sure he didn't get any worse.

Mullet better appreciate just how much he was worrying about him, he thought to himself. Sure, sure, Lance would be hard pressed to say that he they were best buddies or anything, but now that they had actually gotten a chance to talk, it turned out that Keith _wasn't_ actually the worst person in the world.

He was an elusive asshole, sure, but a _tolerable_ elusive asshole. And he could work with that. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully?

At least they made it to the control room without any issues. He'd been half worried that Keith might start to stumble again, but he didn't, walking forward in a straight line without any issue.

Right, good. Now he just had to figure out how to close the hangar doors, and...

...and he had no idea how to close the hangar doors.

Crinkling his nose, Lance found himself resorting to his classic fail safe- pushing random buttons. Not only did they not close the hangar doors, they didn't even seem to do _anything_. Great. Just his luck.

"Ugh, it's all in Galra gibberish." He muttered.

Faintly, he thought he could hear Keith saying something underneath his breath, but the only word he could catch was _gibberish_. Probably just agreeing with him, he thought, drawing back as he let Keith have a go at the controls.

Without seeming to even think about it, the red paladin pressed his hand against the screen- and like magic, the hangar doors seemed to comply, slowly drawing shut.

Aw, man. Of course _Keith_ had better luck than he did. "How'd you do that?"

The question almost seemed to startle him- before Keith tried to pretend he hadn't just looked like a deer caught in headlights, his expression slipping back into it's usual default of neutrality. "I just... put my hand on the hand print?"

"Oh." Blinking, Lance could only frown, eyes falling on the huge button in the dead center of the panel that very much looked like a hand print. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Keith seemed to snort, and it was enough to make Lance wonder why he'd ever bothered worrying about this guy. "Because you're _Lance_."

"Wow, mullet. _Wow_."

* * *

That had been too close.

If it hadn't been for the haze that had seemed to settle in his brain, he probably wouldn't have made a mistake like that. He could only be grateful that the only other person around was Lance- if it had been any of the other paladins, he would have had a rough time explaining his way out of that one.

He just had to hope that Lance didn't think to bring it up to anyone. If he did... well, that would be the end of it. They'd know.

Not everything. But too much. That he was _Galra_ , at least.

But for now he needed to focus on the mission at hand- a task which proved itself to become more daunting the closer to the core of the Balmera they got. The Balmeran who had saved Hunk- _Shay_ \- had been taken down there, and though every part of that screamed _trap_ , he wasn't the one calling the shots here.

Kolivan was _not_ going to like the news that the paladins of Voltron were willing to walk into an obvious trap.

And now Lance was making weird hand signals at him. What was he even doing? This was a serious mission, and he was doing everything in his power to focus on it, and here he was just messing around!

(It was only later, when his thoughts were more coherent, that he realized that Lance had been trying to tell him about the ladder behind him.)

His movements were more sloppy than he would have liked- but he still managed to take down the four sentries that blocked their path. Keeping a tight grip on his bayard, he drew his focus to it, trying to drown out the way he started to feel worse and worse with each step. It seemed that the closer to the core of the Balmera they drew, the worse he got. Just keeping Lance from noticing was taking most of his effort at this point.

He'd no way to describe it other than he felt like he was dying, energy seeping out of him like he'd sprung some kind of leak. It was all in his head, he knew- but knowing that and actually putting it into practice were two different things.

By the time they finally arrived, he felt dead on his feet, only able to keep himself upright by force of sheer will.

The doors slamming shut behind him sure didn't help matters any.

Great. Just great. All he'd wanted to do was get this _Shay_ and then get out of here as soon as possible, but now he couldn't even do _that_. All because they'd walked themselves right into a super obvious trap.

Honestly, he barely even heard what was going on around him- or he did, but he simply couldn't process it. Even Allura's voice, being transmitted directly into his helmet, felt distant. The feeling of death and dying felt poised to engulf him, ready to drag him down with it at any second.

It was all in his head. He was fine. It was all in his head. He wasn't dying. It was all in his head. He was fine. It was all in his-

He barely even felt Shiro's hand on his shoulder.

"-eith?" Oh, he was talking to him. "Keith? You okay?"

Why was everyone looking at him now? Didn't they have something else to worry about?

"Keith?" Shiro asked again, his tone growing more insistent. "Keith, can you hear me?"

Sucking in his breath, reminding himself again that _Balmera_ was the one dying, not him, Keith gave him a firm nod. He didn't trust himself to speak- he'd made such a rookie mistake back in the control room earlier, what if he opened his mouth and suddenly started speaking in Galran?

They'd realize what he was and just leave him here, probably. He'd die with the Balmera. What a way to go.

* * *

Keith did _not_ look good. Not in the least.

To be frank, Shiro was amazed he was still standing- he looked like he was going to collapse at any moment. Racking his brain, he tried to recall if he'd been looking at all unwell before this- something like this didn't just spring out of nowhere.

It was... it was kind of like back when they had fought that beast, back on Arus. When he'd stumbled out of the red lion's cockpit, looking like he was neither here nor there. Only this was much worse than that- insurmountably so.

He almost didn't notice it at first. Keith had been standing upright, almost stock still. Which was what had caught his attention in the end- while everyone else was trying to process the fact that they were trapped in here, that the Castle was under attack, Keith alone hadn't moved a muscle. It was only when he drew closer to him that he realized that his breathing was labored, his eyes hazy.

It was almost kind of like he wasn't with them at all, but was somewhere else, far from here.

"Keith?" Placing a hand on his shoulder, he knew right away that something was wrong. Keith, who tensed at people's touch, didn't even so much as bat an eyelash. "Keith? You okay?"

His tone must have sounded urgent, because now everyone else had stopped talking, focusing most of their attention on Keith.

Keith didn't move, didn't even acknowledge that he'd been spoken to. Every single one of Shiro's instincts screamed at him that whatever was going on with him right now, it wasn't good.

"Keith?" He asked again, tone more insistent this time. "Keith, can you hear me?"

He didn't seem to respond, for what seemed like the longest time- and then finally, he gave him a nod of his head, the movement too deliberate to be anything but. Shiro felt his shoulders relax, though not by much.

"Oh man, I knew he _did not_ look good." It was Lance who spoke up, making his way over to them. "Keith? Keith, buddy, you in there?"

A faint grunt.

"Wait, is something wrong with Keith?" Now it was Pidge's turn, joining what seemed to be a growing paladin cluster. "Oh man, he does not look good."

"Yeah, way to state the obvious, Pidge." Lance noted. "It's like he's in some kind of _trance_."

"Guys, give him some space." Shiro told them, resisting the urge to physically shoo them away. "And Lance, are you telling me that Keith didn't look well before?"

"I mean... yeah, kind of? Like, not _this_ bad, but when we got out of our speeders, he totally stumbled." Lance quickly supplied. "He said he was fine, but I'm _pretty sure_ he was lying."

"Okay so, just to recount," Hunk piped up, anxiety clear in his voice, "...we're all trapped in the core of the Balmera, the Castle is under attack, the Galra are _probably_ trying to steal our lions as we speak, and Keith is in some kind of weird trance."

"Wow, way to paint a pretty picture there, bud." Lance said. "Shay, you having any luck with your uh... your hand there?"

"The Balmera _is_ sending the message." Shay supplied. "Your friend is unwell?"

"It would seem that way." Shiro told her, a tight frown on his face. "Do you have any idea what could be causing this?"

"No." She merely shook her head. "There should be nothing on the Balmera that could cause him harm. It welcomes all."

Brows knitting together, Shiro kept his hand planted firmly on Keith's shoulder, if only to help steady him. They needed to get him out of here, to get him back to the Castle so that Coran could have a look at him.

Which wasn't an option right now. The Castle was under attack, and if Keith didn't get back to the red lion, the Galra would take it. _Again_.

This was not a good situation.

Even when one of the doors crumpled in on itself, freeing them from the core of the Balmera, it still remained a bad situation. Keith seemed to be using all of his effort to just stay upright at the moment- he didn't seem to be capable of _walking_ , much less flying.

"Lance, I need you to-" Shiro began.

"No." It was Keith's voice, raspy, but unmistakable. "Shiro. Fine."

"Fine? Keith, you're _not_ fine." Shiro told him, his tone stern.

" _Fine_." Keith repeated, almost seeming to hiss. "Lion. Back."

He wanted to argue the point- Keith wasn't even forming _full sentences_ at the moment, and he was honestly trying to pass himself off as being fine? There was no way he was _fine_ , he should have never gotten on the battlefield to begin with!

But Keith apparently had other ideas. Swatting away Shiro's hand from his shoulder with more strength than he would have thought he had in him at the moment, the red paladin took a stumbling step forward, seeming to almost ignore everyone else.

Letting out a long sigh, Shiro turned to Lance, a grim expression on his face.

"Watch him."

"Don't have to tell me twice."

* * *

Making a point to ignore Lance, and all of his efforts to help, Keith forced himself to move. The faster he got away from the core of the Balmera, the sooner he would start to feel more like himself- and not like a dying shell.

The _Balmera_ was the one dying, not him, much as it felt otherwise at the moment.

What was even the point of all this? Even if they managed to free the Balmera, it wouldn't matter anyways. It wouldn't last much longer, and then what would have their effort been for? Hunk would have to watch as the very thing that he had so desperately tried to save collapse beneath his feet.

It would crush him.

(The idea hurt him more than he thought it would. Hunk... Hunk didn't deserve that.)

But Keith wasn't the one calling the shots here. There was no way that he could explain why the whole thing was pointless without giving too much away. In so far as he knew, humans didn't have this kind of ability- and if there was one thing he knew about humans, it was that they tended to fear what they didn't understand, almost like some kind of base instinct. It was insanely frustrating, a stark reminder of the fact that he was alone on this team, an outsider who shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Maybe it was just his weakened state, but now, more than ever, he felt a strong longing for _home_.

But he couldn't go back to the Blade of Marmora. Not with his mission unfinished. Kolivan would never let him.

_He_ wouldn't let himself do it. He'd been entrusted with this mission, even if it was only by pure circumstance. He couldn't let the Blade of Marmora- couldn't let _Kolivan_ \- down.

(He wouldn't be any better than his father if he did.)

So he had to do this.

Dimly, he realized that Lance had been talking almost the entire time it took for them to get back to their speeders. He hadn't been paying an ounce of attention, having fixed all of it in just getting back there. Now that he'd put some distance between himself and the core, his head felt more clear- clear enough to turn on his heel to glower at Lance.

"Would you shut up already?" He hissed, trusting himself with his words again. "I keep telling you, I'm fine."

"Uh dude, no offense, but it's like _crazy obvious_ you're not fine." Lance pointed out, even as he wasted no time in scrambling into his speeder. "Although the use of full sentences is encouraging."

Letting out a grunt, Keith got into his speeder, pushing aside everything else. He knew he'd have to think of some way to explain what had happened back there, and honestly, he wasn't looking the least bit forward to it.

"See? That's _exactly_ what I meant!" Lance told him, blatantly ignoring the fact that he was blatantly ignoring _him_. "That wasn't even a _word_! That was just some kind of weird grunt!"

"Lions, Lance." Keith hissed. "More important."

With that, he wasted no time in turning his speeder around, gripping the controls tightly. He could just barely make out the red lion's energy, drowned out as it was by the Balmera's, but as he drew closer to it, the balance began to shift.

By the time he had slipped back inside of it, he felt himself breathing easy again. Sensing his apparent distress, the red lion let out a low rumble, filling his thoughts with it, pulling him away from the sensation of death that still clung to him in places.

Once this was over, Keith decided, he was just going to hole himself up in the castle-ship for the rest of their time here- however long that would be before the Balmera collapsed in on itself.

At least his pathetic display back there would give him excuse enough to.

All he had to do was just get through this battle, and show everyone that he was okay. That he didn't need- or _deserve_ \- the worry that he felt directed towards him, through the paladin bond as they formed Voltron.

There was no way in hell he was going to falter here, now. He wasn't that _weak_.

It would be easy. They were away from the Balmera now, and he was already feeling way more like himself than he had been ever since he'd first stepped foot on it. So long as nothing else happened, everything really would be fine.

* * *

Everything was not fine.

The beast that came out of the transport was far worse than the last.

_Everything was not fine._


	13. beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't even think about it, he just _moved_. Before he fully understood what he was doing, his lion was between them and it, readying itself for a direct hit he wasn't sure that it could fully withstand.
> 
> Knowledge or death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, let me take a moment to say this- as of last update, this story reached 100+ subscriptions! I can't thank you all enough for your continued interest in this story, and I really hope that you continue to enjoy what comes out of it. Next up, we continue with Keith's very bad no good day, which, in a shocking twist, continues to be a very bad, no good day.

The wave of nausea that overcame them all _definitely_ came from Keith.

It was alarming- not only because it was further confirmation that Keith was very much not fine, but because it was the _first_ thing they'd ever felt from his end of the paladin bond. It served not only as a reminder of how closed off he was from the rest of them, but also as an indicator that he didn't seem to be quite himself at the moment.

"Keith?" It was Shiro who spoke first, keeping his tone steady. "You holding up over there?"

There was a long pause- or what _felt_ like a long pause anyways. There was a crackle of static from Keith's end, before he finally replied. "Keep telling you, I'm _fine_ , Shiro. We've got something more important to worry about right now."

And god help him, did he ever very much want to argue that point. Judging from the way the feeling of nausea withdrew from him, Shiro was going to guess that Keith had realized it had spilled over from him, and was now taking measures to reel it, and everything else, back in.

In order to do that, he had to be conscious of the fact that he very much was _not_ fine, no matter how stubbornly he insisted otherwise.

But unfortunately, he was also right. They couldn't afford to divide their focus right now- not with the arrival of another one of the Galra Empire's beasts.

"We'll just beat this thing like last time," and something slipped out from his end of the bond again, though it was so vague and ephemeral, that nobody could quite make out what it was, "...and get everything over with, okay? So quit worrying about me already."

Closed off as his end of the bond was, there was no doubt he could feel what was coming from their end- and yeah, that pretty much was worry. How could they _not_ be, after what they'd seen in the core of the Balmera? He'd never seen Keith like that- hell, he'd never seen Keith sick at all.

At least, not before the appearance of the strange gladiator beast back on Arus. Which...

Oh.

_Oh_.

Something clicked in Shiro's mind. Was Keith... was he _reacting_ to the beast? It sounded a bit out there, but then again, he had apparently felt the blue lion's energy back on Earth, so maybe there was something to that theory.

...which _still_ didn't fully explain his averse reaction to being on the Balmera. And it _had_ to be related to the Balmera, Shiro concluded. Because not only had they felt nothing from his end of the bond after forming Voltron before the beast's coffin had crash landed on it, but no matter how stubborn he was, there was _no way_ he would have been in the condition to pilot as he just had were he still as out of it as he had been back in the core.

Whatever was going on, he suspected that Keith knew more about it than he was telling them.

But he was right- right now, they needed to focus.

They'd bring this beast down, as quickly as possible- both for the sake of the Balmera, and for Keith. If it _was_ somehow the root of what was making him feel ill- at least, right now- then the best thing to do was to get rid of it as fast as they could. If it was the same kind of monster as back on Arus...

The coffin cracked open, and a new wave of nausea passed through them all. One that didn't feel like it was all just Keith.

It was _not_ the same kind of monster as the one back on Arus.

* * *

It was worse.

It was definitely worse.

They'd been left with no other option other than to split apart into lions, and then flee into the mining shafts. The beast, with its many eyes, each seemingly equipped with a laser of its own, couldn't follow them down there. More than anything, they needed the chance to regroup and think of a new plan.

In spite of what Shay had said, there was _definitely_ something on the Balmera that was setting Keith off. Lance had told him that when they had come down the first time, Keith had stumbled out of his speeder- and he did the same now, almost seeming to stagger out of his lion in a way that made Shiro's heart clench.

Hunk, being the closest, made haste in coming to Keith's aide.

"Oh man, buddy, hate to state the obvious, but you _do not_ look good." He noted, using one hand to brace him. "C'mon, you can lean on me."

In lieu of speaking, Keith just made a noise- one that Shiro had cause to be familiar with- a note of rejection, deep and low in his throat that he was damn sure he couldn't imitate if he tried. It didn't surprise him at all that he'd slip back into his use of verbal cues, given the state he was in, but... wow, it had.. it had been awhile since he'd heard him make one of the more ah, unique ones.

(That was the nice way of putting it. The not so nice way? _Primal_.)

It was enough to startle Hunk, wide eyes looking towards Shiro, clearly wondering if the deep throated sound that had just emitted from the red paladin was something to worry about or not.

"It's okay." Shiro told him, giving him something of a rueful smile. "He... Keith just kind of makes noises like that sometimes."

There was... basically no way to put that, that _didn't_ make it sound weird, he realized, so best to just let it out there as is. Keith had seemingly realized how weird it was himself, which was why he'd so painstakingly trained himself out of doing it while living in the Garrison.

His year alone in the desert must have _really_ set him back, Shiro thought.

"Oh, uh, okay." Hunk blinked, clearly not sure what to make of that piece of information. "That's... that's definitely new information."

For his part, Keith just made the noise again, just more insistent this time.

"Do... do you not want me touching you or something, Keith?" Hunk asked, seeming to hesitate. "Because like, I'd love to help you out there, but you do look like you kinda need some support right now. No offense, dude."

Keith seemed to resort to glowering at Hunk- but he made no move to pull away, and instead just fixed his gaze straight downwards. At least he seemed to be more responsive than he had been in the core of the Balmera- he'd have taken it as a good sign, were it not for the fact that he'd almost _immediately_ gone nonverbal again the moment he'd stepped foot on the Balmera.

That was... less of a good sign.

Right now, there was nothing more he'd like to do than to take Keith away from here, and maybe get him into a healing pod. But that wasn't an option at the moment- not with that monster still out there. They couldn't just leave it to wander the surface of the Balmera, not when they'd come here in order to free the Balmerans.

And he got the feeling that even if he tried, Keith wouldn't stand for it. Stubborn to a fault, that kid.

"Did you guys feel that over there?"

"It's that sound again. What _is_ that?"

How could anyone miss the way that the Balmera seemed to buckle underneath their feet? Casting a glance back towards Keith, Shiro's eyes narrowed, not missing the hurried way Hunk tightened his grip on his shoulder, as if the red paladin's legs were threatening to give out.

"That great noise comes from the Balmera itself." Drawing his attention away from his fellow paladins, Shiro forced himself to focus it on Rax. "Our home crumbles beneath our feet. The Balmera is dying."

It was as if everything clicked into place at once.

Or at least, Shiro thought it did. His theory was... well, it probably wasn't one that he would have thought of before he'd been abducted by aliens. It was _outlandish_ , to say the least. But here he was, in outer space, standing on a planet that was actually a petrified animal, so perhaps the time for the outlandish had come.

Could... could Keith _feel_ that? If he'd been able to feel the blue lion back on Earth... then it wasn't impossible.

He'd been fine back on the castle-ship- his normal self, in so far as he could tell. A little distracted, maybe, but certainly not _ill_.

If he could sense that the Balmera was dying, then couldn't that be what was effecting him? Back in the Balmera's core, he'd looked almost dead on his feet- the only thing to disprove it had been the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. If what Lance had said was true, then he'd been in a better condition- though still not a great one- when he'd been further away from it, but that, it seemed, was no longer the case.

The wave of nausea. The beast. The way he'd reacted to the one back on Arus.

It _had_ to be. Right now, that was the only thing that seemed to be making any sense- that it wasn't _just_ the dying Balmera that Keith was picking up on, but there must also be something from that beast that was setting him off too.

If that was the case, then the combination of those two factors...

There was no way that he could send Keith back into battle, if that was the case. With only four lions, they wouldn't be able to form Voltron- but Voltron hadn't seemed to be able to do all that much against that beast in the first place. Fighting against that thing might only exacerbate his condition, and he didn't want to take that chance.

Provided he was right, of course.

Maybe he wasn't. Maybe this whole train of thought was totally outlandish after all. Maybe his brain had been scrambled by the Galra more than he'd thought, for him to even _consider_ it as an option.

But maybe he wasn't.

He wasn't willing to take a chance on that maybe.

He was the oldest one here, and the only one with any (recent) experience with the Galra Empire. It was his job to look after the other four paladins, and sending one into battle while they could barely stand was the _exact opposite_ of looking after them.

But if all they needed to do was distract it long enough to evacuate the Balmerans... maybe they could manage, somehow.

"Alright," Shiro began, drawing in a long breath. They could do this. "...Hunk, Lance, Pidge, the four of us will head up onto the surface and try to distract the beast while Allura and Coran help evacuate the Balmerans. Keith's in... he's in no condition to fight right now, so he needs to stay here."

"We will watch over him for you." Shay offered, concern clear in her tone. "So that his condition does not worsen."

"I will see to him as well, once I arrive on the Balmera's surface." Allura's voice came in on the other end of the com line- calm, but with it's own underlying note of worry.

"Thank you, that would be-"

"No."

The voice that spoke was so raspy, that it was hard to make out the word at first. Letting out a grunt, Keith pushed himself away from Hunk, drawing on some yet untapped well of willpower to stand himself upright.

"No." He repeated, just in case there was any doubt.

"Keith, no." Turning on his heel, Shiro gripped his shoulders. "You ignored me before, and now your condition is even worse than it was. You can't put your own health aside just for the sake of the mission."

"No." Keith repeated again, jerking his head up, locking eyes with him. They were hazy below the visor of his helmet, but there was a marked determination in them that was impossible to miss.

" _Keith_ -"

"No, I'm-" Keith began, his mouth working to form words without actually saying them. Dimly, Shiro realized that he must have been trying to keep himself from slipping into his native language. "I'm fighting, Shiro."

With that, Keith pushed him away. There was no actual force behind the action, but it was enough to allow him to slip away from his grasp. Before either he or Hunk had the chance to react, he was already making his way back towards the red lion, which lowered itself to allow it's paladin to enter.

"Shiro, do we just-" Hunk began, glancing nervously over towards him. "We can't just let him do that, can we?"

Watching as Keith's back retreated into the red lion, Shiro could only narrow his eyes. Some part of him wanted to storm in there and drag him out by force, but he doubted it was an idea that would go over well- both with Keith, and with his lion.

"I don't think we have much of a choice."

* * *

Letting out a slow, shaky breath, Keith closed his eyes.

It... was it over?

He felt like he'd given everything he'd had left in that last blow. His hands were slack around the red lion's controls, shoulders still a knot of tension. His head still swam, as if he were in some kind of haze.

The fight with the beast was more muddled in his head than he wanted to admit, but he'd managed to force himself to stay alert and aware. A single shot from that beast's central eye had momentarily shorted out the yellow lion, which had the thickest armor out of them all, so he shuddered to think what it might do to his own. He couldn't afford to allow his concentration to lapse, not in the heat of battle.

Hunk had really pulled through for them, he thought to himself. Maybe the yellow lion had resonated with his strong desire to save the Balmerans- but he'd done well, whatever the case. Well enough that he decided he'd leave out the part in his report where he'd tried to form Voltron's weapon with his bayard, before they'd even _formed_ Voltron.

(Sorry Hunk, his thoughts weren't so muddled that he'd missed that.)

Allowing himself to slump back in his chair, Keith only dimly felt Voltron lapse. Taking in a long breath, he tried to steady himself, to pull his thoughts out from the haze. He was dimly aware that the others had landed their lions, and were hurrying to check on Allura. Landing his own, he remained slumped back in the pilot's seat, closing his eyes and drawing in another long breath.

It was over- right?

If it was over, why couldn't he relax?

It _had_ to be over- the beast wasn't moving anymore, down for the count. He couldn't... he couldn't really _feel_ it either, he thought, but then again, right now, all he could feel was the strange tingle of energy that had spread out over the Balmera, crashing over it like a wave. It had come from Allura, and it hadn't been... _unpleasant_ , not exactly, just... strange, unfamiliar.

Just another surge of energy to add to the other two. No wonder he was having trouble thinking straight- he'd never had this much input all at once before.

Opening his eyes, he watched as everyone clustered down below around Allura. She'd done something insane, from the sound of it- trying to revive an entire Balmera on her own- and people called _him_ reckless.

She looked alright, even from up here. Slumping over the controls now, Keith groaned, wondering why he still felt so drained. The Balmera had been brought back from the brink of death, yet he still felt like _he_ wanted to take a nice ten thousand year nap himself. Maybe he'd just used up too much energy- he'd been pretty exhausted after spending time on that other Balmera too.

(He'd also been _shot_ on the other Balmera, but, eh.)

Which didn't explain why he still felt so tense. Groaning again, Keith pushed himself up off the controls- Red was making it's displeasure of him slumping over them known. He should probably get out of his lion already, doubtless the others were going to start worrying about him soon.

Worrying, about _him_. Unable to help it, Keith let out a faint snort. He must have been exhausted, if the thought of them worrying so much about a _spy_ was so funny to him right now. But it was. Hilarious, even.

Ah. He didn't deserve it. He sure as hell did not deserve it.

"Okay Red," Keith muttered, half to himself, half to the sentient lion in question, "...guess I'd better go."

And then it came back with a jolt.

Breath hitching in his throat, Keith's eyes went wide, the haze of his thoughts breaking into pure static. As if it broke through the pulsing energy that lingered from the ceremony, there it was- the foul energy of the beast, twisted and corrupt, stinking of druid magic.

It _wasn't_ dead.

It wasn't dead, and everyone was down there, exposed. If that blast hit them...

He didn't even think about it, he just _moved_. Before he fully understood what he was doing, his lion was between them and it, readying itself for a direct hit he wasn't sure that it could fully withstand.

Knowledge or death.

* * *

Keith, Shiro thought, seemed dead set on turning the rest of his hair white.

If the Balmera hadn't encased the beast in crystal when it had, he didn't want to think what might have happened. The worst part of it was, he couldn't even claim that he'd made the wrong call- with all of them out of their lions, fully exposed on the ground, they didn't stand a chance in hell against that beam.

Regardless of whether or not he'd done the right thing, every fiber of Shiro's being wanted to chew him out right now. It took just as much restraint to keep himself from doing so- it could wait until they'd returned to the Castle of Lions.

Hunk had chosen to stay behind on the Balmera, to help Shay and her family. Pidge had opted to as well, hoping for a chance to go through any information that the Galra Empire had left behind, hoping that it might somehow lead her back to her family. Since this was only just a mining outpost to them, he sensed that she doubted it would get her anywhere, but that wasn't going to stop her from checking.

She didn't need his arm, he'd checked- she'd just borrow one of the sentries.

Everyone else was set to return to the Castle. Coran had gone ahead of them, taking Allura with him- after what she'd done today, she more than needed her rest.

Which left him and Lance.

"Thought you might need the help." Lance told him, when he'd expressed more surprise than he probably should have when he'd realized they'd both gotten the same idea, and both were currently en route to the red lion's hangar. "You know, to drag Keith to the infirmary."

Shiro pondered that for a moment- before he gave him a weak smile. "I might, yeah."

"I didn't think Keith even _could_ get sick." Lance admitted after a moment. "Remember that awful flu outbreak?"

Shiro made a face at that. How could he forget? The Galaxy Garrison Flu Outbreak had hit them _all_ hard- he'd gotten away with a slight cold, but a few cadets had to have been hospitalized. Matt had been confined to his bed for almost a week. It had gotten so bad that you could count on one hand the number of people who hadn't been impacted by it in some way.

Like Keith.

Who hadn't even so much as gotten a _runny nose_.

"I was out for like, _a week_." Lance supplied. "And Hunk was down for longer."

"I got away with a cold." Shiro recounted. "But I guess even Keith gets sick sometimes."

If this _was_ a real sickness- he didn't want to voice his theory just yet, not until he'd had the chance to talk it out with the person in question. If he was right... then he suspected that Keith knew about it.

Nose crinkling, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd been taken advantage of because of it. If he was right- and it still was an _if_ , Shiro wasn't quite ready to jump on his outlandish theory as being anything more than that- then it was possible that people might have seen it as something that they could make use of, something to exploit.

That... might explain some things, actually.

"Guess so." Lance said. "Speak of the devil."

Arching his brow at the turn of phrase, Shiro cast his gaze in the same direction as Lance's. There was Keith, making his way out of the red lion, helmet tucked underneath one arm. He still looked... not great, if he was going to be honest, but he seemed to be walking fine, at the very least.

"Keith!" Shiro called out to him, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders at how quickly his greeting was acknowledged.

"Shiro." His voice was still raspier than he would have liked- but the red paladin managed to give him a small smile.

"Wow, way to ignore the fact that I'm here too, mullet." Lance observed- but there was no real annoyance to his tone. "C'mon, we should get you to the infirmary. And don't give us any of that _I'm fine_ crap, because we know _damn well_ you're not fine."

"Don't need it." Keith muttered. "Just let me sleep."

"I think Lance is right, Keith." Shiro said.

Although the fact that he wanted to sleep and was heading _away_ from the red lion was... encouraging, he supposed. Or maybe Keith was just so exhausted that he was willing to trade the absolute safety of the red lion for the comfort of an actual _bed_ for once.

Which was less encouraging.

"Sleep first." Keith muttered. "Med bay later."

"How about we compromise, and you sleep in the infirmary?" Shiro suggested.

"What, in one of the pods?" Lance asked. "Cause I'm not sure they work that way."

"Coran told me they have some actual beds too." Shiro noted. "We could use one of those."

"Are they weird pod beds, or like-" Lance began.

"They're beds, Lance." Shiro cut him off. " _Bed_ beds."

The sound of something clattering to the floor broke off any further conversation- and bringing with it the realization that Keith had been suspiciously absent from it for awhile now.

They turned to face him just in time to watch Keith hit the ground.


	14. pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were almost an exceedingly large number of swears in Galran, nearly all of which he knew, but all of them seemed to fail to really bring home how he felt in the current moment. Thankfully, English had him covered.
> 
> Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, here it is, chapter thirteen! I did not mean to upload this chapter on Friday the 13th, but hey, sometimes life happens in strange fashions. This is a chapter that I've been looking forward to writing for a long time now, so hopefully it does not disappoint! As always, thanks for reading!

"He's only just sleeping. Nothing to worry about."

Coran's words brought them both a breath of relief- they hadn't known what to think after Keith had suddenly passed out in the red lion's hangar. Shiro had scooped him up into his arms without so much as a second thought, and wasted no time in making for the infirmary, while Lance hurried to locate Coran and bring him there.

It had been a frenzy of chaos and panic, one that they were still winding down from. And Keith, infamous for being a light sleeper, had slept through the whole thing, even when they had stripped him of the outer plates of his paladin armor, leaving him in the bodysuit underneath it.

"So what now?" Lance asked. "Do we like pop him in one of the pods, or?"

"No, no, that shouldn't be necessary." Coran told them. "If anything, I'd advise against it. It would seem that what our red paladin here has is a simple case of exhaustion. Best to let him sleep it off naturally."

Exhaustion. So Keith really _had_ pushed himself past his limits- why hadn't he tried harder to stop him?

"Yeah, he was looking pretty wiped." Lance observed. "You think maybe he hasn't been getting enough sleep?"

"He _definitely_ hasn't been getting enough sleep." Shiro said. "But that's not really anything new."

"Oh?" Coran perked up, glancing over towards Shiro with a slight frown. "Do tell, Number One. What do you mean by that?"

"Keith- he only sleeps maybe three hours a night." Shiro told him, a tight frown on his face. "I don't know how it works for Alteans, but humans usually need at least eight hours a night, or there's usually consequences. He's also _probably_ been sleeping in the red lion ever since we got here."

"Wait, _three hours_?" Lance asked, arching a brow. "Man, I'd heard rumors that he was a light sleeper, but that's just ridiculous."

"So poor sleeping habits then." Coran noted. "I'll add that to his medical log. And he's been this way for as long as you've known him?"

"Pretty much." Shiro told him. "Back at the Garrison, I tried getting him into the habit of sleeping longer, but he might have reverted back to old habits while I was..." his gaze shifted, "... _away_."

"Hm." Coran seemed to frown, typing something into his data pad. "Now what can you tell me about the symptoms he was experiencing on the Balmera?"

"Oh man, Coran, you should have seen it- it was _super_ freaky." Lance was quick to speak up. "He got all zoned out, like he was in some kind of weird trance or something. Barely talked."

"I think I might know why." Shiro spoke up. "The not talking part, at least. English- that is, the Earth language that all five of us speak, isn't Keith's native language. I think he was probably having difficulty parsing his thoughts in it."

He'd... save the _other_ part of his theory for when he'd actually spoken to Keith about it.

"Huh." Lance blinked. "So what _is_ mullet's first language, then? Chinese? Korean? Can't be Japanese, because _you're_ Japanese."

"I... don't know, actually." Shiro admitted. "You'd have to ask him."

"So, possible communication issues when ill. Got it." Coran said. "Well, I'll give Number Four here a bit of a look over, but I do think that with some rest, he'll be just fine."

"Thanks, Coran." Shiro told him. "And sorry to draw you away from Allura."

He knew how important the princess was to him- and that she was still very weak from the Balmera's rejuvenation ceremony. To draw him away from her side at this critical time... he couldn't help but feel a little bad about it, however much they did need his help.

"Oh no, think nothing of it!" Coran told him. "Much like Number Four here, she'll be just fine with some good rest!"

"Well _that's_ good to hear." Lance noted. "Should we transport mullet here back to his room? Or," he paused, making a face, "...to the red lion, I guess, since that's _apparently_ where he does all of his sleeping? Man, that _cannot_ be comfortable."

"It's... probably better we don't move him around too much." Shiro said.

"Oh right. Knife boy, gotcha." Lance said- and Shiro had to arch a brow at that. "What? You _had_ to have heard the rumors at some point, Shiro."

"That he sleeps with a knife underneath his pillow?" Shiro ventured, wondering which one of his former roommates had let _that_ piece of information get out. "That's not a rumor."

Lance visibly paled at that. "...right, well, good to know."

"He'll be just fine here in the med bay. I'll keep an eye on him, make sure his condition doesn't get any worse." Coran reassured them. "And you two can go and relax a little. You've both had a very long day, and you did good work, so you deserve a little time to yourselves."

"Thanks, Coran." Shiro said again, a fond smile on his face. "Let me know when he wakes up."

"Can do, Number One." Coran promised him.

Casting a lingering glance back towards the still sleeping form of Keith, Shiro knew that he would have to have a discussion with him soon. If Keith had some kind of unique ability that had gotten him into trouble in the past, then he could understand why he didn't want to talk about it. Still, if it was something that could put him at risk, like it clearly had back on the Balmera... it was better that they know about it.

They were a team now, and teams needed to trust each other.

* * *

Alone, in the med bay, with Number Four.

Don't get him wrong- his first priority was seeing to the health and well being of the red paladin. He'd given them all quite the scare back there, and though his vitals were holding steady, there was still a chance that there might be some kind of underlying root issue that he'd missed on his preliminary inspection.

They still didn't know what had caused his averse reaction to being on the Balmera, which was a concern. His brainwave patterns seemed to be fine at the moment, but from the way the paladins had described it at the time, it was quite clear to him that something abnormal had happened.

Abnormal for a _human_ , at any rate.

Which Number Four likely wasn't.

There were two points of interest in what Number One had told him- the boy's poor sleeping habits, and the fact that the tongue they all shared was not Number Four's natural one. The latter was perhaps not too strange- from the sound of it, Earth had a vast number of different languages.

No, what really got to him were his sleeping habits. From the way he'd spoken about it, it would seem that sleeping only three hours a night, every night, was something that would eventually cause serious problems for a human being- yet up until this point, he'd never noticed that Number Four had ever seemed particularly tired.

In that case, he likely came from a race in which sleep cycles were naturally short. The Galra, he knew, were almost infamous for their own short sleep cycles- just two hours a night, and they were good to go. There were a few others besides them, but none, Coran thought, were anywhere _near_ humanoid enough to well, pass for a human.

Which rounded back to what he had long since suspected- that this was _not_ Number Four's natural form.

There were certainly other races aside from Alteans who could change their form- though he'd yet to hear of one that managed to hold onto said form after losing consciousness. And yet, though he'd done just that, Number Four's appearance hadn't changed in the slightest.

Curious, _very_ curious.

Rummaging around the med bay, Coran took a bit to find what he was looking for. It was quite unfortunate that Lance had been required to spend time in one of the healing pods, but thanks to that, he now had human biological data to use as a comparison.

Perhaps this was all a bit underhanded of him, he knew. Number Four had done nothing but _gain_ his trust on this recent mission- to fighting past his limits, to his willingness to sacrifice everything for the team (though he really ought not to do that again anytime soon).

But he needed to know.

For health reasons, if nothing else. Whatever was going on with the red paladin, Coran suspected that it had to do with whatever it was that he was hiding. If this was something that was going to become a repeat issue, then he at least needed to have some idea of how to treat it- or even what _it_ was.

Number Four would likely be asleep for quite some yet. Enough time for a few basic tests- he'd deign to go any further than that.

The scanner picked up nothing too unusual, not at first. In fact, if he hadn't been actively looking for anything that was out of place, he doubted he would have even noticed.

At first, it appeared to be nothing more than an odd bit of bone, at the very base of his spine. Out of place, to be sure, but nothing _too_ strange.

Except it _wasn't_ bone, his scanner informed him, when he endeavored to take a closer look. In fact, it appeared to be nothing natural at all- a chip, of some kind. Stroking his mustache with one hand, Coran leaned back, trying to decide what to make of it. He'd never seen anything quite like it, and without having the actual chip in hand, it wasn't likely he could determine its purpose.

Which clearly, not an option.

Hesitating for the span of a second, Coran set aside the handheld scanner, tucking it back away where he had found it. Reaching out, he deftly plucked a strand of Number Four's hair from his head, only letting out his held breath once it was clear he was going to do nothing more than flinch in his sleep.

Pulled from the rest of his body, the single strand of hair seemed to change color. Though it was hard to make it out too clearly with the naked eye, it had become much lighter in color, moving away from the stark black that he'd become accustomed to- and in fact, he'd dare say it was now _two_ colors, as opposed to simply one.

But both shades seemed to be of the same general color.

Purple.

* * *

"You're worried about him."

Antok's mask was up, but Kolivan did not need to see his face to know what sort of expression he wore. He had known him far too long for that.

"His mission report is late." Kolivan replied, keeping his tone curt. "He should have made contact by now."

"Kyix has never been one for timely reports." Antok observed. "What concerns you is the Balmera."

"He is older now than he was the last time, more experienced." Kolivan responded. "He will be fine."

"Ah, so then you admit that you are worried." Antok noted- and underneath the mask, he was for certain wearing a leering grin. "It cannot be any worse than the time we raided the temples on Elzat. He was speaking in tongues for weeks after."

Yes, he remembered that venture quite well. Kyix had spent the ensuing weeks babbling in long dead tongues, frantically scribbling on anything that he could get his hands on. He'd barely been aware that time had passed when he'd come back to himself, and from that point on, they had decided as a whole to err on the side of caution when taking the youngling to any such places as that.

(Krolia had threatened to make a pelt out of him if her son didn't come back to himself. He wholeheartedly believed her.)

"Quite." Kolivan noted. "But Kyix is no longer a child. He is a Blade, and should be treated just as any other."

"And yet, you indulge his antics far more than you would the rest of us." Antok observed. "Though he's outdone himself this time. A paladin of Voltron." He snorted, the sound of it almost fond. "Who would have thought?"

"You know better than to speak of that openly, I hope." Kolivan remarked, narrowing his eyes. "We cannot risk having that information get out, least it compromise him."

"You know me better than that, Kolivan." Antok told him. "I'm sure he'll be fine. He's as stubborn as he is tiny, that one."

"Besides," Antok began, his tail swishing in lazy circles behind him, "...we both know that if he doesn't come back to see her young one, Ilun will have your head herself."

Ah yes. He believed that too.

* * *

He woke with a jolt.

Gasping for breath, Keith felt a surge of panic rise in his chest, all too keenly aware that he did not know where he was. Eyes frantic, he cast them around the room, trying to determine exactly what had happened.

Right. He'd blacked out.

Drawing in a long breath, he slowly became aware of his surroundings. Swearing underneath his breath, he realized with a start that he was in the med bay- exactly where he didn't want to be.

He didn't seem to be in a pod, at least, and a quick check of his hands showed that they were still very much that same shade of peach. Someone had removed the outer layers of his paladin armor- which was a thought that had made his skin crawl. He'd not only passed out, but he'd left himself so vulnerable that he could be stripped of his protective gear.

If this was an enemy ship, he'd be dead.

Or _worse_. He knew what they did to the runts they didn't kill.

(How could he be a paladin of Voltron when he hadn't even been able to save them.)

Seeing as he wasn't chained up or confined in any way, it was clear that his secret hadn't come out. Still, he didn't like the idea of staying here any longer. Pushing himself out of bed, he ignored the slight haze that came upon him when he moved- it didn't seem like he was fully recovered from what he'd experienced on the Balmera.

What a pathetic side he'd shown of himself, he couldn't help but think. He was supposed to be _better_ than that.

(At least it didn't seem to be like that time after Elzat. He didn't think the paladins would take kindly to him speaking in tongues and trying to draw arcane symbols on himself- and them.)

He'd have to come up with some kind of an excuse to explain everything, he knew. He didn't know how well they'd take the idea of him being sensitive to energies. It probably wouldn't be enough to give him away, but it would be enough for them to warrant keeping an extra eye on him- and the less scrutiny he was under, the better.

Right now, though... he just wanted to get back to the red lion and- ugh, that's right. Kolivan was probably waiting for his mission report.

Groaning, Keith pinched the bridge of his nose, drawing in a long breath. He didn't know what time it was, but judging from how dim the castle-ship's lights were, it was probably rather late. Kolivan was likely getting quite impatient with him.

Right. Mission report first, then another nap. Somewhere that wasn't here.

"Leaving so soon, Number Four?"

Jolting at the sound of the voice, Keith felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest. Whirling around, he came face to face with Coran, swearing under his breath at his unexpected appearance. How long had he been there?

Coran's brows seemed to furrow at his half muttered curse, and Keith felt his blood freeze. Suddenly, he found himself unable to recall what language he'd just spoken, a grip of cold panic clutching at his heart. If it had been Galran...

What felt like the longest second passed, and Coran merely gave him a smile. "You've not yet fully recovered, my boy. You really shouldn't be moving around so much."

Exhaling, Keith felt his shoulders relax. Not Galran, then. There was no way Coran wouldn't be able to recognize it for what it was. It hadn't changed _that_ much in the past ten thousand years.

(It had changed some, he knew- it was harsh now, all rough edges and sharp sounds. Once, it had been much softer.)

"I'm fine, Coran." Keith told him, taking extra care to not fall back into his native tongue. "Sorry for the scare."

"You said you were fine back on the Balmera too, and look how that turned out." Coran pointed out. "Now have yourself a seat, let me take a look at you."

Grumbling, Keith nevertheless complied. He didn't have much of a choice.

The lights in the med bay flickered on, and Keith had to blink for a moment, letting his eyes adjust. It would have been worse with his real eyes, one of the few things about this human form that he actually found mildly convenient.

Allowing Coran to fuss with him was perhaps the most stressful few minutes of his life- the Altean man's low _hms_ and _ahs_ not really helping matters much. It felt like he was back sitting on the examination table at the main base, the doctor on hand checking him out to see if he was really mission ready, without letting him be the first one to know the results.

(They always reported them to Kolivan, since they knew full well that if they left it up to him, he'd just lie and say he was, no matter what they turned out to be.)

"Well, you don't seem to have a fever, and all your vital signs appear to be normal." Coran noted.

"So I can go?" Keith asked, trying and failing not to sound too overeager.

"Oh, I didn't say that." Coran told him. " _Hop down for me, Number Four_."

Without thinking, Keith did exactly that- it was only once his feet hit the floor, that he realized something was wrong.

That- that had been Galran. The enunciation had been complete _shit_ , but it had unmistakably been Galran.

He'd spoken to him in Galran, and he'd done _exactly_ what he'd told him.

There were almost an _exceedingly_ large number of swears in Galran, nearly all of which he knew, but all of them seemed to fail to really bring home how he felt in the current moment. Thankfully, English had him covered.

_Fuck_.

"So you _do_ speak it." Coran observed- in Common, this time. Keith had to fight the urge to wince.

"I don't know-" Keith began, only to find himself quickly cut off.

"Oh come now, my lad, there's no shame in it." Coran told him- and for as easy as his tone was, his gaze was very much assessing him, a quiet contemplation to him. "The Galra Empire has dominated most of the known universe by now, there's no shame in knowing their tongue. Call it a survival strategy, if you will."

"I'm not-" Keith began, only to find himself cut off, once again.

"Ah, but you _are_ , Number Four." Coran told him, a hand staying up to pluck thoughtfully at his mustache. "Your human disguise is impeccable, I must say, but far from perfect. The results from your physical exam indicate as much."

And Keith actually _did_ wince at that. He'd thought he'd hid the differences pretty well, since no one had said anything. Apparently not.

And now he was alone, in the med bay, with an _Altean_ , who he couldn't tell if he knew for sure if he was Galra or not yet.

Had Coran already told everyone else? Were they just outside, waiting to see how this all played out? There were already escape routes playing out in the back of his mind- which would be better, making for the red lion, or heading to the general hangar bay? Ugh, but before he even did that, he needed to retrieve his blade- Kolivan would never forgive him if he left it behind.

Who knew if it was even still in his room. Maybe Allura was holding onto it now, or Shiro. Maybe they'd unwrapped it's hilt, recognized the mark as being that of the Galra Empire, only cut in half. He doubted they'd know the significance of it, which only made it worse. He could claim he was a Galra rebel- which was the honest truth- but he didn't know if they'd believe it.

They only thought of the Galra as an evil, monolithic race. Why wouldn't they? Nearly everyone else believed it. It would be easier to believe he was a spy for the empire, rather than a spy for the rebellion.

(Either way, still a spy.)

"...what do you want from me?" Keith asked, not masking the suspicion and mistrust in his tone. If he already knew, what was even the point?

"I believe that's my question, Number Four." Coran said, his expression and tone both unreadable. "What is it that you want from _us_?"

"I don't know what you mean." Keith fought the urge to hiss, grateful that the texture of his hair had changed with his transformation- it would have raised, like the proper fur it was, had it not. "I don't- I don't want anything from you."

He could overpower Coran and get out of here, make a break for it. Kolivan would be furious that he'd blown his cover, but it would be better than staying here. They could find a new paladin for the red lion, one that they could actually trust.

Silence, and then at long last, Coran let out a long sigh. "There's no need to be so cautious, Number Four. I've not yet shared any of my suspicions with anyone else."

And that... _did_ make him drop his guard, a little, visible confusion manifesting on his face. "...why not?"

"I wanted to give you a chance to explain yourself." Coran told him simply, arching a brow.

That answer only confused him all the more. "... _why_?"

"Because thus far, the only thing you've done that's untrustworthy is to lie about your whereabouts." Coran told him. "Today's mission more than proves that whatever your origins, you are nothing if not a loyal paladin."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith searched the Altean's face, trying to glean some tidbit of information from it. Was he being honest? Had he _really_ not told anyone yet? Was there still a chance that he might be able to lie his way out of this?

"But I'd much rather you didn't lie." Coran chimed in, as if he had been reading his thoughts.

He knew the click of his tongue gave his thoughts away, but he found himself strangely unable to care. There were two options before him- stay silent, and hope that Coran decided to stay silent as well, which was unlikely. Or speak the truth, and suffer the consequences.

Either option would eventually lead to him needing to leave, it was simply just a matter of _when_. At least with the latter, he'd know the answer to that.

"What do you want me to say?" Keith finally asked, drawing himself up as much as he could, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"We could start with your real name, if you like." Coran ventured.

His real name. His unmistakably Galran name.

"You already know, don't you?" Keith asked, watching him through narrowed eyes. "What I am."

"I have a strong suspicion." Coran observed. "But I'd much rather hear it from you."

"If you know that much, I'm surprised you didn't just shoot me out of the airlock while I was still unconscious." Keith snorted.

"You've done nothing thus far to warrant that kind of treatment." Coran told him, lightly tugging on his mustache. "Quite the opposite, in fact."

"Could be a trick." Keith pointed out.

"It's possible." Coran noted with a nod of his head. "You could fool us for sure. But the red lion? I find myself quite doubtful of that."

"For all you know, the empire could have tampered with it." Keith told him.

"It's possible." Coran acknowledged once again. "But I quite doubt it."

Keith held his stare for a moment longer- before he let out a long sigh, allowing his shoulders to slump. He'd expected... he didn't know, revulsion? Betrayal? _Apprehension_ , if nothing else. Not this... this strange feeling of patient _acceptance_.

It put him off.

"Kyix." He finally said. "That's my name."

"Ah, a fine name." Coran observed. "I believe it translates roughly into _pride_ , does it not? The parent who named you must cherish you quite a bit."

"...my mother." Keith muttered, averting his eyes from him. That was not the comment that he'd expected, which seemed like it was going to be a running trend with Coran.

"Hm, your mother, yes." Coran said, nodding his head. "I must say, you're doing quite well without her. Most Galra children around your age are-"

"Coran." Keith cut him off, his tone flat. "I'm _eighteen_."

Now that caught him off guard. If it weren't for the fact that Coran had mistaken him for a youngling, he'd almost feel a little smug about it.

"I could have sworn that you were-" Coran began.

Nope. No way. Did _not_ want to hear how old Coran thought he was. "Well, I'm not."

"Ah." Coran blinked. " _Ahlet_ , then, I take it?"

A soft word. Old Galran. _Little one_.

" _Aket_." Keith corrected. Harsher, New Galran, spat out with disdain. _Runt_.

It was not a difference that was lost on the Altean man, whose expression seemed to falter, as if only now, was the fact that the Galra Empire was not as it once was hitting him. "Oh," he said simply, "...I see."

"Look, for what it's worth, it _wasn't_ my intention to come here." Keith stated plainly. "My mission was to track down the blue lion so that it could be transported somewhere Zarkon couldn't get to it. That's all. Finding a ten thousand year old Altean castle-ship and becoming a paladin of Voltron was _not_ part of the plan."

_And_ he'd just said too much. Great.

"Mission, was it?" Coran asked, thoughtfully stroking his mustache. "Mission for who, Number Four?"

Maybe he really _should_ just knock him out and make a break for it. It would just be so much easier.

"I can't-" Keith began, before stopping short. "...I can't tell you."

"The rebellion?" Coran ventured.

Narrowing his eyes, Keith decided that maybe that much, he could share. "...yes."

Another faint _hm_ , that really made Keith reconsider the option of just knocking him out and getting things over with again. "So? What now? There's a _Galra_ on your ship. Are you going to shoot me out of the airlock or what?"

"No, of course not, Number Four." Coran said. "Regardless of who you are, and where you come from, you're a paladin of Voltron now. We need you here."

Biting down a comment that he could not guarantee one hundred percent loyalty to the paladin cause, Keith instead let out a faint grunt. "I'm _Galra_."

"And the Galra were once our allies." Coran noted.

"Yeah, look how _that_ turned out." Keith said, arching a brow. "Not to mention the _last_ time a Galra was a paladin-"

"And yet, the red lion chose you, knowing that." Coran remarked. "I choose to trust its judgement."

All Keith could do for a long moment was hold his gaze- before he broke that, grumbling to himself. There was no way it could be this _easy_ , there _had_ to be some kind of trick to all this.

"...so? You going to tell everyone else?" Keith finally asked.

"No." Coran told him. "That's not my task."

Letting out a faint snort, Keith rolled his eyes. "Well if you're expecting _me_ to tell them, then you'll be waiting a long time."

"I won't argue against it." Coran said simply. "I can imagine that you have your reasons for wanting to keep your true identity a secret, Number Four. But the paladin bond-"

"-is built on trust. _I know_." Keith said. "But they're sure as hell not going to trust a fucking _Galra_."

Coran remained silent for a long moment, almost looking as if he wanted to say something- before he merely let out another faint _hm_ , causing Keith's eye to twitch. "If that's your choice, I won't argue against it. Only know that if you ever find yourself in a spot of trouble, you can always feel free to call on old Coran here."

"Now," Coran began again, before he got a chance to say anything else, "...you've had a very long day, Number Four! And you're still recovering from that scare you gave us all back on the Balmera. I suggest you return to your room and get yourself a bit more rest."

"So what, that's it?" Keith asked, staring at him, dumbfounded.

"Was there something more you needed to tell me?" Coran asked.

_I'm_ _ **spying**_ _on you_ , Keith couldn't help but think- before he narrowed his eyes.

"No."


	15. soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The words _child solider_ came to mind, unprompted, sending a chill up his spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, it's the latest chapter! We should be heading into Crystal Venom territory soonish, like maybe in the next two chapters or so. The ideal would be to finish up the first season within twenty chapters, but knowing me, I'm not going to hold myself to that too much. Also, an advance apology to Hunk, darling sunshine boy who has done no wrong.
> 
> Until next time!

Groaning, Keith dragged himself to his quarters, just wanting to get out of the rest of his paladin armor before he did anything else. Literally all he wanted to do was sleep- sleep and try and forget that he had managed to blow his cover.

Pressing his hand up against the sensor, he all but dragged his feet into his room. Not even bothering to turn on the lights, he stripped out of his under armor, tossing it aside in a heap before moving on to putting on his clothes.

Good news- he didn't feel like he was dying anymore.

Bad news- he had never been this exhausted in his life.

He was certain that this would all pass with a good rest- but he didn't have _time_ for that right now. No, what he needed to do right now was get into contact with Kolivan- ugh, Kolivan.

What was he going to tell him? That he'd blown his cover? That one of the Alteans knew he was Galra?

No, no, if he did that, Kolivan would just order him back to the main base. Having your identity compromised meant the end of your mission, he knew that much by heart. And sure, maybe the stakes here weren't as dire as say, Thace's, but this was _still_ a deep cover operation, and it still played by those rules.

Lie. He could just lie to him! What Kolivan didn't know couldn't kill him. As long as Coran kept his word, then he didn't have anything to worry about.

Unless he'd just said that to get his guard down, and he was telling everyone now, in which case, he should probably be prepping to _leave_ , not for a nap. Maybe right now, the paladins were heading towards his quarters, intent on apprehending the Galra that had slipped onto their ship so that they could demand answers from it.

Ugh. Maybe he was, but honestly, Keith was too tired to care. Flopping face first onto his bed, the one he hadn't touched once since coming here, he was filled with the overwhelming urge to just give in, and go the fuck to sleep.

But no. No, he still had to report to Kolivan. He'd already kept him waiting, and he was probably...

But maybe he could just shut his eyes, just for a little bit.

* * *

Hunk did not generally consider himself an early riser.

He wouldn't exactly say that he was the type to sleep in late, either- he woke up right when he needed to, and not a minute too soon. But today was different. Today, he had a mission.

Breakfast in bed.

Not just _any_ breakfast, oh no. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it _right_. Or well, as right as he could get it when he was as far away from Earth as you could get, just about. But he'd make do- it was actually kind of fun, in a way, trying to figure out how to recreate familiar flavors and tastes while using ingredients that were otherwise totally foreign to him.

Today's objective- a rough approximation of bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast. Which is how he found himself in the kitchen, bright and early, cooking up a storm.

He'd go light on the flavoring, much as it pained him- this was for Keith, after all.

Because man- how could he _not_ be worried about Keith? Not only had he looked like hell back on the Balmera, but according to Lance, he'd collapsed in the red lion's hangar after they got back. And while Coran had told him that it was a simple case of exhaustion, this wasn't something he could just leave alone.

He was worried about Allura too- god, of course he was. But Coran had her handled, and would probably know what a weary Altean would need better than he would. So his priority then, was Keith.

He didn't know a lot about Keith. In fact, he was pretty sure that what he _did_ know about Keith, he could count on one hand. But Keith had literally thrown his lion in front of them to try and save them from that robeast's blast- he hadn't even _hesitated_!

So look, all he was saying was that the least he could do for the guy was make him some breakfast in bed.

It did occur to him, as he lingered outside of Keith's room, that he'd never been in his quarters before. Keith usually sought _them_ out- not the other way around. And sure, maybe he could have just kept his breakfast warm in the kitchen, and waited for him to wake up and come there, but that defeated the whole purpose of breakfast in bed.

Balancing the tray on one hand, Hunk pressed his hand up against the sensor. He'd kind of expected to maybe find Keith already awake, but judging from the lump he could pick out on the bed, it seemed like he was still sleeping.

Which... aw man, he didn't want to wake him up if he was sleeping. Maybe he could just leave the tray there, leave a little note? Keith had a good nose, the smell would probably wake him up after awhile. But it wasn't like there was a desk or anything to put it on, so...

"Keith?" Hunk called out, stepping into his bedroom. It was dark in the room, with only the lights from the hall to illuminate it. He could just barely make out a mop of dark hair peeking out from underneath the blanket- and the sole of a booted foot sticking out from the opposite end.

Aw man, Keith. Don't wear your boots to bed.

"Keith?" Hunk called out again- only this time, he thought he heard something stir. "Hey, sorry to wake you buddy, but I thought you might be hungry, so I brought you some-"

Everything happened so fast.

One minute, he was reaching out a hand, hoping to give the red paladin a light shake to rouse him. The next?

The next, he was pinned to the ground, shoved face down on the floor, a knee pressed up against his back, and a hand gripping his wrists, pinning them to his back with more strength than someone Keith's size should have. Oh, and the knife. There was currently a knife pressed to his throat, that too.

He could barely even process the fact that he'd dropped his tray, too fixed on the fact that Keith currently had a knife pressed to his throat, and was... was he _growling_?

Oh man. _Oh man_ , the rumors were true.

And then the knife slid away, and he could feel the grip on his wrists lessen. "...Hunk?"

"Uh, yeah, it's me." Hunk told him, still feeling more than a little terrified. "I just- I just thought I'd bring you some food, you know, cause you're kind of feeling under the weather and all, and I thought hey, maybe Keith doesn't want to have to get out of bed this morning, so why not bring his breakfast to him and-"

Oh thank god, the knee was off him now. That was _definitely_ going to leave a bruise. Faintly, he could make out the sound of Keith's knife slipping back into its sheath, and only then did he allow himself to breathe.

Because for the span of a moment, he was pretty sure that Keith was going to _kill him_.

"Can- can I get up now?" Hunk asked, sounding just as uncertain as he felt.

"I- sorry." Keith's voice was slight, almost whispered. "I don't like people waking me up."

"Yeah, yeah, I can see that now." Hunk told him, pushing himself up into a sitting position, one hand hovering over his throat where the knife had been pressed. There didn't seem to be any blood, thank god, but he was definitely going to be _bruised_ , if nothing else.

"Here, let me help." Coming around to his front, Keith crouched down in front of him- and god, was it hard not to flinch when he entered his personal space again. There was a flash of guilt in those purple eyes, the red paladin awkwardly biting down on his lip. "I didn't- sorry, Hunk, you were trying to do something nice, and I just-"

Call him a softie if you want, but Hunk couldn't just let that go. Even if he _had_ basically just tried to kill him. Or well... it didn't seem like he was actually trying to kill _him_ , not really- it wasn't like he knew that _Hunk_ was the one intruding in his quarters, just that someone had been, and- okay Hunk, you're rambling there, back on topic, back on topic...

"Aw Keith, don't say that." Hunk told him. "I mean... did that freak me out, like, a lot? Uh, yeah, kind of totally, if I have to be honest dude, you had a knife pressed to my throat. That's like, super scary. But like... I'm honestly more worried about _you_."

"I had a knife pressed to your throat, and you're worried about _me_." Keith repeated, the expression of guilt giving way to a blank look. "That doesn't even make any sense."

"I mean, it does? Kind of?" Hunk said, letting the red paladin haul him to his feet, once more in awe at just how strong he was. "Because like, no offense dude, but no part of that reaction is _normal_."

"Maybe not where you're from." Keith told him, giving him such a rueful smile that Hunk nearly felt like his heart was going to shatter into a million pieces.

Even as pieces in his head began to click.

His uncle had given him that knife.

It wasn't wolves. Oh god, it wasn't wolves.

_"I don't really know that much about saving people. Just-"_

War. It was _war_.

The words _child solider_ came to mind, unprompted, sending a chill up his spine. It was a thought that made his gut wrench, made him want to cry- but it explained so much. Keith Kogane hadn't been raised by wolves- he'd been raised in the _middle of a war zone_.

And now he was back in one.

"Hey, look, uh-" Hunk began, shifting awkwardly on his feet. What did he even say to that? Was he even right? Maybe... maybe he was just jumping the gun there, maybe it was something else, god he hoped it was something, _anything_ else. "You know you can talk to me, about stuff. I mean, like, if you want, no pressure or anything, but like... my door's open."

Keith merely tilted his head, an expression of marked confusion on his face. "...okay?"

Yeah, he kinda didn't think it would be that easy.

"Okay, good." Hunk said with a nod. "And uh, oh right- how are you feeling? I mean, you seem pretty okay, but I just thought I should ask, seeing as you _kind of_ collapsed yesterday and everything."

"I'm fine." Keith told him, his tone suddenly becoming curt. "Feel better after having slept."

"Good to hear." Hunk told him- before finally taking stock of the tray he'd dropped, its contents now spilled all over the floor. "Aw man, the _food_. Don't worry Keith, I'll make you a fresh batch. We can just-"

The red paladin only seemed to give him a noncommittal shrug, crouching down next to the dropped tray, plucking one of the fallen pieces of toast and taking a bite from it. "It's still good."

Oh no. Oh god, Keith _no_.

"Keith!" Hunk gasped, his eyes going wide. "We _do not_ eat food off the floor!"

Keith's suspicious squint made him want to cry in a whole different way. But listen- no amount of tragic war zone orphan back story was going to make him okay with eating food off the floor. No sir.

Gathering up the tray and it's fallen contents, he snatched the piece of toast right from Keith's hand, ignoring the faint growl it earned him. " _We_ ," and he put the emphasis on _we_ , "...are going to the kitchen. I'm not letting you eat food that's covered in space germs."

He'd half thought Keith would say no- but instead he merely made a faint sound, indicating a forward motion with his arms in the most sarcastic way possible. "After you."

* * *

Probably the last place he had expected to find Keith was in the kitchen.

He knew that he must _go_ to the kitchen, because the few times he had gone by his quarters to see if he was actually there for a change, he hadn't failed to notice what were clearly rations that Keith had squirreled away in there. He could only imagine that there were even more stored somewhere within the red lion, and for all he knew, he'd gone and stocked one or even _all_ of the pods with them too.

He'd done the same thing back at his room in the Garrison, too, so it didn't come as much of a surprise. What _did_ come as a surprise was finding him in the kitchen, bright and early, with Hunk, of all people.

At least he seemed to be looking better- the haze had lifted from his eyes. He'd gone to check on him in the infirmary first thing in the morning, only to find him gone. He'd nearly feared the worst for the moment, until Coran told him that Keith had woken up sometime during the night, and had decided to finish resting elsewhere.

He wanted to be upset with the Altean man for not coming to get him as he promised, but he'd let it slide. The rest had clearly done Keith good, and if he hadn't seen it for himself, he never would have guessed that he'd been on the verge of collapsing yesterday.

Well, not on the _verge_ \- he had _actually_ collapsed.

"Good to see you up, Keith." Shiro told him, the smile on his face not the least bit forced. "Hunk feeding you well?"

Keith let out a faint grunt, swallowing his current bite of food. "Morning, Shiro."

"Morning." Shiro returned the greeting, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. "You feeling okay?"

"Like I said, all I needed was some sleep." Keith told him. "Nothing to worry about."

"No offense Keith, but I'm pretty sure getting into some kind of weird trance is definitely something to worry about." Hunk supplied from his station at the Altean equivalent of a stove. "And hey, Shiro. Want the closest approximation I can get to scrambled eggs?"

"I would _love_ some, thanks." Shiro told him. "And Hunk's right, Keith."

"S'not a big deal." Keith said simply, a tight frown on his face.

"Keith, you blacked out." Shiro told him. "That's what I would call a big deal."

"And I'm fine now, aren't I?" Jerking his head up, Keith's eyes narrowed, fixing a sharp gaze on him. "It won't happen again."

"It's not a matter of it happening again or not." Shiro said, unable to help but frown at his reaction. He suspected that this would be a touchy subject for Keith, but he was putting up more resistance to it than he'd anticipated. "It's a matter of it having happened at all."

"Look, I'm sorry for bringing the team down-" Keith began.

Bringing the team down? Wait, was _that_ what he thought this was about?

"Keith, you didn't bring the team down." Shiro told him. "That's not what this is about. This is about you, about your health. We were all worried about you."

"Yeah man." Hunk chimed in, sliding a plate of eggs across to Shiro. "When I came back from the Balmera and heard from Lance that you'd passed out, it seriously gave me a bad scare. You gotta take better care of yourself."

Keith seemed to shrink back into his seat, chewing on one corner of his lip. "Sorry."

"Listen, Keith," Shiro began, "...I know there's parts of your past that you aren't ready to talk about yet," and out of the corner of his eye, he almost thought he saw Hunk flinch, "...but if this is something that might cause you harm in the future, then we need to know about it."

"Why?" Keith asked, folding his arms in front of him. "So you know when I might be a burden to Voltron?"

"Keith, you're _not_ a burden, trust me." Shiro reassured him. "We just don't want you to put yourself unnecessarily at risk. You're a part of this team, and none of us want to see you get hurt."

"This is _war_ , Shiro." Keith told him, his tone almost cold. "We don't have time to tiptoe around my _vulnerabilities_."

"Look," before anyone got a chance to speak, Keith got to his feet, pushing his chair away from the table, "...If I caused you to worry about me, then I'm sorry. But this is something that I've got handled."

He was lying, and Shiro knew it.

"Keith, Shiro is just trying to help." Hunk told him, his tone soft, worried. "And gotta be honest dude- whatever's going on, I don't really think you've got it _that_ handled. You kinda passed out."

"Not until _after_ the battle." Keith pointed out, narrowing his eyes. "If you're worried that I might compromise the mission, then you don't have to. I won't."

"Keith-" Shiro began.

"Look, I said it's fine, okay?" Keith cut him off. " _I'm_ fine. So quit babying me already."

"Keith, I'm not trying to-" Shiro began again, only to heave a long sigh as Keith didn't even give him the chance, leaving the room before he could even finish. Part of him wanted to go after him, but the other part knew that he needed his space.

"I... should we maybe go after him, do you think?" Hunk asked, sounding a bit nervous.

"No." Shiro told him, shaking his head. "Going after him tends to be counterproductive."

"Wise words from the Keith tamer." Hunk said, glancing at Keith's own half finished breakfast with a deep frown. "...do you think maybe _I_ could talk to you, Shiro? About Keith?"

Shiro blinked, glancing up at the yellow paladin with a slight frown. He didn't need to be told that Hunk was the worrying type, that much was as plain as day- but there almost seemed to be a vague hint of apprehension to his voice that caught his attention. "Of course, Hunk."

"I, uh, kind of went to Keith's room this morning." Hunk began.

"Is this about him sleeping in the red lion?" Shiro ventured.

"Wait, he does _what_ now?" Hunk asked, jerking his head up, acting for all the world like this was the first time he'd heard of this. He would have thought for sure that Lance would have passed that tidbit of information on, but it seemed like that wasn't the case.

"You didn't know?" Shiro asked, frowning- before he started to realize with a sinking feeling what this might be about. "...Keith was in his quarters this morning, wasn't he."

"Yeah, yeah. Sleeping with his boots on, too." Hunk told him.

"You woke him up, didn't you?" Shiro asked, unable to keep the grimace off his face, suddenly understanding why he was so nervous. "That... tends to be a bad choice."

"Wait, so he's done that to you too, Shiro?" Hunk asked, blinking in visible surprise. "Because I would have thought that like, you at least-"

"Oh, he's done it to me, alright." Shiro told him. "Once right before I left for Kerberos."

"I mean, I heard the rumors, and all, but-" Hunk shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his brow furrowing. "I mean... that's not _normal_ , right? But like, Keith told me it's normal where _he's_ from. And I- Shiro, my mom works as a volunteer medic sometimes, she's been to all these terrible places, and just- do you know where Keith's from?"

It was a question that made him blink, and for a moment, he had trouble processing it. When it sunk in, he found himself wondering how he hadn't considered it before.

"Are you- Hunk, are you asking if Keith was raised in some kind of _war zone_?" Shiro ventured, almost sounding uncertain of himself.

"...kind of?" Hunk told him. "I mean, it's just... I've heard stories, you know."

Leaning back in his chair, Shiro drew in a long breath. It wasn't an option that he'd considered before- he'd been set on the idea of Keith being a runaway. But it... made sense, almost.

"I don't know, Hunk." Shiro admitted. "I don't know where Keith is from, or even that much about him. And I've never- I thought he was a runaway. An abused kid or something, I never thought that..."

Tapping a metal finger against the surface of the kitchen counter, Shiro's brows knit together. He did not like the idea, nor what it meant- but the longer he thought on it, the more it seemed to make _sense_. It wasn't like Earth didn't have it's fair share of conflicts, so it was entirely within the realm of possibility, but...

If he went by that logic, then not only had Keith been _raised_ in a war, but now, just when he'd managed to get away from it, he'd found himself back _in_ one.

And that was... _Christ_.

No wonder Keith never wanted to open up.

* * *

He had to tell him.

Dammit, he had to tell him.

The minute Kolivan's face came onscreen, any thoughts of lying to him about Coran flew out of his head. It had sounded good, when it was still a thought, but now that he was staring down his leader, he knew that he didn't stand a damn chance at keeping it a secret from him.

At least he wouldn't have to worry about Shiro keeping him from missions now, not when it was obvious that Kolivan was going to call him back to base.

"Kyix-" Kolivan began.

Cutting him off, he decided to just get it over with. "I've been compromised."

There was a pause, one that went on for a moment too long for him to be entirely comfortable with. "Explain."

"The older Altean, Coran- he knows I'm Galra." Keith told him, fighting the urge to slump back in his seat, burying himself in the pilot's chair. "He hasn't informed anyone else of this yet, but I can't tell if he intends to keep his word or not. He doesn't seem to believe that I'm part of the empire."

"Did you tell him-"

" _No_." Keith hissed, narrowing his eyes. "I would _never_ tell him about the Blade of Marmora, Kolivan, you know that."

And then it was his turn to pause.

"But he does seem to be aware that I'm affiliated with rebels." He admitted after a moment, dropping his head. "I might have... _elaborated_ a bit as to what I was doing on Earth in the first place."

"How would you gauge his reaction?" It was a strange question, and one that he couldn't help but perk up at.

"Don't know." Keith admitted. "He seems sincere, but he's _Altean_. He has every right to not believe me."

"And what do your instincts tell you, Kyix?" Kolivan asked.

And that _really_ caught him off guard. Kolivan, telling him that he should listen to his instincts? Had he stepped into one of those alternate realties that Slav always kept going on about?

"...that he means what he says." Keith told him, after some thought. His gut instinct was that in spite of what he'd said, he was likely to go back on his word at the first sign of trouble, but when he thought about it some more... "I don't know _why_ , but I don't think Coran plans on telling anyone that I'm Galra."

Kolivan's expression was one of deep thought- one that he'd cause to know well. "How much did you tell him?"

"Only that I was sent to Earth to keep the blue lion out of Zarkon's hands." Keith said, furrowing his brow. "I thought you'd be telling me to pull back by now, Koli- _leader_."

"It's under consideration." Kolivan told him. "Do any of the others suspect?"

"No." Keith said- before he paused, slumping back in his chair. "But they might- they might have some kind of idea I'm keeping _something_ from them. I- on the Balmera, it was... it was bad."

He hadn't meant to tell him that either- but though it had been subtle, he hadn't missed the faint edge of relief that had washed over Kolivan's face when he'd finally made contact. He'd been there when he'd come back from that mission, had visited him in the med bay while he had been recovering from the injury he'd sustained during it. He knew the risks of sending him back to one.

The Blade of Marmora's creed might be knowledge or death, the mission before the individual- but once the mission was over, it was different. The fallen were mourned, the injured taken care of, and those who were not able to return to the front lines were found new roles within the order.

To an outsider, it might seem a strange dichotomy- given how easily they could abandon their own for the sake of the mission. But if they were going to survive this war, if they had _any_ hope of coming out on top, then they had no choice. They _all_ understood that, had all pledged themselves to that.

Emotions were a luxury- on _missions_ , yes- but to deny the whole of them would make them no better than the empire. To toss away those who were weak, those who could no longer fight- that was the empire's way of doing things, _Zarkon's_ way of doing things.

It was _not_ their way.

"It was _dying_ , Kolivan." And he didn't correct himself this time. "The one from before, it was... it was bad, yeah, but it wasn't dying. If the princess hadn't been able to save it, forget trying to _liberate_ it, the entire populace would have been crushed to death by its collapse."

"Are you still ill?" Kolivan asked- and there was unmasked concern in his tone.

"No, I'm- I slept it off." Keith told him, not fighting the faint edges of a smile that touched his lips- one that didn't last, his expression faltering. "Do you... do you think it would be different, if grandmother was around to teach me?"

"Likely it would." Kolivan told him. "I am sorry that she is not."

"Yeah." Dropping his gaze, Keith chewed on the edge of his lip. "Me too."

A moment of silence, and then Keith broke it, drawing in a breath. He was in the middle of a report here, he couldn't afford to be sentimental. "Another beast, like the one on Arus, was sent out. I'll transmit to you the data the red lion collected during out battle."

"Voltron was unable to fully defeat it, but the battle was not a loss." Keith reported. "The yellow paladin was able to connect with his lion, and the resulting bond seems to have created a new weapon. I will transmit the data that I have on it as well."

"See that you do." Kolivan told him, giving him a curt nod. "But if the beast was not defeated...?"

"The Balmera ate it." Keith told him flatly.

"The Balmera ate it." Kolivan repeated, his tone just as flat.

"That's... that's the best way I can put it, okay?" Keith told him. "It encased the beast in crystal, so I'm _pretty sure_ it's dead now. I can't feel it's energy any longer, at least, but it could be just because it's being drowned out by the energy of the Balmera's crystals."

"We will send a team down to examine it once you are gone." Kolivan told him. "But you say that the princess was able to rejuvenate the dying Balmera on her own?"

"The process seems to have taken a heavy toll on her, but with rest, she should recover." Keith reported, before letting out a faint snort. "And you call _me_ reckless."

"Only because you are." Kolivan noted. "The reckless behavior of the Altean princess does nothing to change that."

Grumbling to himself, Keith couldn't help but sulk. "And? What are your orders, leader? Return to base? Continue with the mission?"

"For the time being, continue with the mission." Kolivan instructed him. "Voltron requires its red paladin."

"Understood." Giving him a curt nod, Keith narrowed his eyes. "We will remain at our current location for at least one day cycle, before we take leave of the Balmera. The Castle's defenses were damaged during the assault, and they need time to recover. I will report to you if there are any further developments."

"See that you do. Take caution, Kyix."

The moment Kolivan signed off, Keith let out a long breath, leaning his head back against the pilot's seat. Closing his eyes, he rested one hand over his knee, running what to do next through his head. He'd honestly thought that Kolivan was going to tell him to pull out- so now he needed to consider his options.

He couldn't avoid Coran forever. It was likely that the Altean was going to have more questions for him at some point, and he'd have to decide how much he could tell him without fully blowing his cover. As long as his impression of him continued to be that of a Galran rebel who got caught up with a bunch of humans, he could manage somehow.

He just had to make sure that he didn't discover he was actively _spying_ on them.

And as for Shiro... he couldn't avoid Shiro forever either.

Switching off his transmitter, Keith tucked it back in his pouch, getting to his feet. Humans were not without their own concept of _reazit_ (Galran, unchanged, gift, gifted, spoken with a hush of wonder and dread in the same breath, for _reazit_ children were taken and never came home again.) but in their case, they did not seem to have any proof that such things were real. From what he could tell, in their culture, he would like be considered a _psychic_ \- an esper, of some kind.

If he were to tell them... it would be a risk. It was possible that Allura might make a connection, or that the knowledge that he possessed an ability that none of them did would have them all watching him with more caution. But in this scenario... he couldn't think of any way out of it other than to tell the truth.

Or well, sort of the truth.

He wasn't about to tell them that what he could sense was _quintessence_ \- humans seemed to have no real concept of it. It would serve as a huge red flag for Allura, so best to avoid that.

Besides, if it was at least a little bit honest with them, wouldn't that mean they'd trust him more? That would be a good thing, right?

And if he was doing it for dishonest reasons... well, who was to know?


	16. gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So what, you're saying that not only are you some kind of ace prodigy pilot," and it looked as if it pained him to admit that, "-but you're also some kind of freaky psychic too?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, here's chapter fifteen! We wrap up the Balmera arc in this chapter and will be moving on to Crystal Venom in the next, so stay tuned for that! I don't have too much else to say this time around, so I'll let you all get straight to it! Please enjoy!

"What are you doing?"

Stars above, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He'd never thought of the Galra as being a particularly quiet race, but perhaps over the past ten thousand years, things had changed. It certainly wasn't just because his hearing was getting worse with age, oh no, he was not nearly so old yet that he would be suffering from _that_ particular ailment, no matter _what_ Allura said.

No, no, it was simply because Number Four's footsteps were nearly noiseless, that was all.

Also because he'd been fully expecting the red paladin to be _avoiding_ him right now. Given how they had parted ways, he would have thought that he would be doing everything in his power to stay out of his way, so that he would seek him out... well, it ran contrary to his expectations, to say the least.

Not in a bad way, he might add.

"Well, after all the damage we took on the Balmera, not to mention the infection from that Galra crystal, the old Castle of Lions needs a bit of care." Coran told him, giving the still clearly wary paladin a smile. "So I'm taking this downtime to help clear up and restore the system as much as possible. Starting of course, with the life support systems."

"Good choice." Keith- no, no, it was _Kyix_ , wasn't it?- observed, still not moving from the doorway. His arms were folded in front of him, and his face was a mask of nonchalance, but it was clear that the lad was watching him with no small amount of caution, almost as if he were anticipating some kind of an attack.

Which was silly, really. He'd no doubt that Number Four could overpower him in the blink of an eye, should he wish.

"Yes well, hate for the systems responsible for keeping us all alive to fail on us." Coran replied. "Once I get them clear, I'll move on to... well, just about everything else, really."

"Sounds tough." Keith- _Kyix_ , he reminded himself again- remarked- and in spite of himself, Coran couldn't help but frown. Surely he hadn't come all this way just to make small talk.

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence, only the occasional beep from the command module filling the room. It was only when the door slid shut fully behind him, did it seem that Kyix had decided to say his piece.

"I can tell you about the empire."

Pausing for a moment in his work, Coran turned around to face the red paladin. His features were downcast, difficult to read- but there was hesitation in those purple eyes. Likely not his real eye color, he found some part of himself supplying, wondering if Number Four's true appearance featured pupils or not.

"I won't- I _can't_ \- tell you about who I'm working for, but I can tell you what I know about the empire." He spoke again, finally looking up, hesitation giving way to resolve. "In exchange, you keep quiet about what you know about me."

An offer. Number Four was making him an offer.

His first instinct was to brush it aside, tell him he didn't need any such thing. He was going to stay quiet about it, whether or not Number Four decided to be open about his origins and affiliations or not. Oh yes, to be sure, this was something that should probably be out in the open- but it was not his business to do so.

Only Number Four could do that.

But this wasn't so much for him, Coran sensed, as it was for Kyix- he _needed_ this deal, to provide him some measure of comfort. It wasn't that he didn't understand it. He was Galra, on a ship full of people with infinite reasons to hate them. Even if he wasn't with the empire, that likely didn't matter to him- not when it seemed that the idea that there might be Galra who were not loyal to Zarkon hadn't so much as entered anyone's mind.

In their minds, the Galra were the enemy. Thus in his own mind, _he_ was the enemy.

And yet he remained.

"Sounds like a fair deal to me." Coran agreed, watching the tension almost seem to wash out of Kyix's shoulders. "There is one thing- or well, two things- I do wish to know first, however, if you don't mind, Number Four?"

And the suspicion was back, as if it had never left. "Depends."

"Ah, don't look at me that way, my boy. It's as much for your sake as anything. Might need to know it in the future, should something like this happen again!" Coran told him. "Your appearance- this human form of yours- it's not your natural appearance, is it?"

There was a moment of hesitation before he answered. "...no."

"Yes, I thought not." Coran mused. "I was not aware that there were Galra capable of changing their form."

"There aren't." Kyix answered frankly. "It's a..." and he paused here, his hand straying towards the base of his spine, seeming to linger over it as he mulled over how much to tell him, "...a device. It channels and alters quintessence. My grandmother designed it."

"Oh, your grandmother?" Coran asked, almost delighted at this more personal tidbit. So it would seem information about his organization was out, but he was willing to venture a bit more into personal territory. "Would she be... I believe the word in my day was _reazit_ , but I don't know if that's changed since then."

"It hasn't." Kyix told him, his hand dropping away from the base of his spine. "Or well. It hasn't, but..."

" _Druikkcd_." It was a harsh, grating word, which only seemed to be made more so by the fact that he couldn't quite pronounce it the way he wished to, if the wrinkle of his brow was to be understood. "I- the humans might call them _druids_."

"Druids?" Coran inquired, not even daring to try and repeat the Galran word for himself, lest he make more of a mockery of it than Number Four's apparently currently human vocal chords had. "I've never heard of such a thing before."

"That's because they didn't exist until after the empire started." Kyix told him. "They're... we're not sure exactly _how_ it happens, but when a _reazit_ child is born into the empire, they're taken away to become druids. After that, they're not much more than puppets of Zarkon's witch, only possessing an illusion of free will."

That was... deeply troubling, Coran had to admit. In the past, _reazit_ children were valued highly in Galran society- sometimes a bit _too_ much, if Coran had to be honest, for it seemed sometimes they did not get the chance to actually _be_ a child. But though valued for whatever gift they might possess, it was clear that there was care for the person who possessed it, and even if they could sometimes be put onto pedestals he thought damaging to a child's development, they were _never_ taken away from their own parents.

But the Galra Empire was different than it had once been, that he was slowly coming to understand.

"Then your grandmother, was she...?"

" _No_." Kyix's eyes narrowed, almost seeming to bristle at the implication. "I wouldn't even _be_ here if she was."

Right then, so not a druid. Got it.

"You're going to ask me about mine, aren't you?" He spoke again, watching him with wary eyes.

"I was planning on it, yes." Coran told him. "My second question for you, actually."

"I don't... specifically know what mine is." Kyix admitted after a moment, almost seeming to deflate. "My grandmother was the only _reazit_ we had, and she died before I was born. I can... I can sense energies- quintessence, _maybe_ \- but it's not like I've ever had any real training with it. It's not really all that useful."

"It led you to the blue lion though, from what I've heard." Coran remarked.

"Yeah, but we only found it after Hunk and Pidge built that scanner." Kyix admitted, a hint of a smile on his face, for the span of a moment, almost seeming _fond_. "I might have never been able to narrow it down without the two of them. Like I said, untrained."

"Yes, I did notice that you don't seem to have much of a filter for it." Coran noted. As much as he would like to help the lad with that, he was afraid that there was simply too much of a difference between their cultures for anything Altean to be useful. "Well that's all the questions from me, Number Four. It's only fair I let you ask a few now."

The offer caught him off guard. "I don't-" he began, before thinking better of it, "...why?"

"I believe you already asked that one, but fair enough." Coran noted. "Because as I said before, you've shown no reason for me to distrust you. And that will be my answer, regardless of how many times you ask."

"You should hate the Galra. You should hate _me_." Kyix observed, the wariness in his gaze returning. "I lied my way into becoming a paladin of Voltron. What part of that is trustworthy?"

"Oh, I don't think you told the red lion any lies." Coran observed. "It's true, the Galra have taken much from me. But I can still remember a time when we used to be allies- when King Alfor considered Zarkon a valued friend. Had things not turned out the way they had... perhaps things would still be that way. We can never know for sure."

Kyix seemed to consider those words for a long moment- before he let out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping. "So we have a deal, right? I tell you what I know about the empire, and you... you don't tell them about me."

"Yes," thoughtfully stroking his mustache, Coran gave him a smile, "-we have a deal indeed. Now, why don't you keep me company while I work on this, and you can fill me in on the current state of affairs, as it were."

For a moment, the red paladin merely watched him- before he gave him a shrug of his shoulders, finally approaching him. "Where do you want me to start?"

"You can start by telling me what the blazes the empire does to their crystals to make their energy so blasted hard to get out of our systems."

Kyix almost seemed to crack a smile. "I _might_ have slept through that lesson."

* * *

Listen, there was one thing that he just wanted to get straight here, just for the record.

He did _not_ hate Keith Kogane.

Okay, maybe once he sort of had- but once he actually gave himself the chance to get to know him, he started to realize that _maybe_ Keith wasn't the stuck up jerk he had thought he was. Oh sure, he was still a _jerk_ , totally- but what he had regarded as elitism turned out to largely just be the end result of the actual truth- that Keith Kogane was a very awkward human being.

And listen- even if he did still think he was a stuck up, elitist jerk, he _still_ would have worried about the guy. He wasn't heartless! He had never in his life seen someone faint dead on their feet before, and frankly, he hoped that it was an experience that he wouldn't have to repeat soon, because it was _not_ fun.

So when Coran had told him that it was a simple case of exhaustion, he'd been relieved. There were still like... _a lot_ of things that diagnosis didn't explain, sure, but from the sound of it, all he needed was some rest, and he'd be fine.

So if he had to be honest... he kind of didn't expect for Keith to show up in the lounge at any point today, looking for all the world like he hadn't been a dead man walking just yesterday. Coran had confined Allura to bed rest, where she would be for the next few days, recovering from the toll that rejuvenating the Balmera had taken on her- so he kind of expected that while maybe Keith wouldn't be down quite so long, that at the very least, the same would hold true for him, at least for today.

And yet, here he was.

"Dude, shouldn't you be resting?" Lance asked.

"I slept." Keith told him with a shrug. "Where's Hunk and Shiro?"

"On the Balmera." Pidge supplied. "Lance is right though, you probably _should_ still be resting. I heard what happened after you got back from the Balmera- are you _sure_ you're feeling alright? Because I trust Coran, but it's not like he has much experience with humans, so-"

"I'm fine, Pidge." Keith cut her off. "Really."

"If you say so." Lance frowned, knowing better than to fight the point. He _did_ look better- he wasn't nearly as pale as he had been, his eyes not hollow, sunken pits in the middle of his face. "You gonna tell us what the hell that was back on the Balmera? Because dude, no offense, but that was like _super freaky_."

Keith stiffened at his question, and for a moment, he almost expected him to snap- before something in him seemed to deflate, and he just let out a sigh instead. "I mean, I- I was kind of hoping to maybe talk to everyone about it."

Whoa. Now that caught him by surprise. _Keith_? Talk about _himself_? Maybe _he_ was the one dreaming.

Because if there was one thing Keith Kogane did not do, it was talk about himself.

"What, like everyone at once, or like, just everyone in general?" Pidge asked. "Because we'd need more than just Hunk and Shiro for that."

"I- not Allura." Keith said after a moment. "I mean, I've already told Coran, but-"

"Wait, you already told _Coran_?" Lance piped up, before frowning. "...and uh, why not Allura?"

"Allura's resting?" Keith told him, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I can tell her later, when she's feeling better."

Okay, that sounded reasonable enough, but somehow it _still_ sounded like some kind of excuse. But this was obviously a parallel universe where Keith talked about his feelings, so hey, all bets were off!

"Okay, but why Coran?" Lance asked.

"Medical reasons." Keith flatly stated- and that... that kind of sounded like an excuse too. _Weird_.

"Fair enough." Pidge noted. "Do you want me to get Hunk and Shiro?"

"No, I can- I can get them myself." Keith told her.

"...On the Balmera?" Lance asked, arching his brows. "You know, the Balmera that made you act like an extra on the set of _The Walking Dead_?"

"What's _The Walking Dead_?" Keith asked, tilting his head.

"I-" Lance began, before closing his mouth. "You know what? Just go."

Keith seemed to hold his gaze for a moment longer- before he frowned, turning on his heel without so much as another word. It was only once he was certain he'd left, that he turned over towards Pidge. Normally, he'd have picked Hunk for this kind of discussion, but Hunk wasn't here right now, so Pidge'd just have to do.

"Okay so, what do you think- secret Garrison experiment?"

Arching a brow, Pidge turned her gaze on him. "...are you talking about Keith?"

"No, I'm talking about Santa Claus." Lance told her, rolling his eyes. " _Yes_ , I'm talking about Keith."

"Look, I know Keith's weird, but do you really think the Garrison would have let him out of their sights if he really _was_ some kind of weird test tube baby?" Pidge asked. "Cause I don't know if you remember this or not, but we _did_ kind of find him living in a shack in the middle of the desert."

"I never said _anything_ about him being a test tube baby." Lance pointed out- and he did not miss the way Pidge flinched at that. "Oh-ho. I get it, I get it. Glad to know we're on the same page here, Pidge, my bud, my main ma-" oh wait, that was Hunk, "... _girl_."

Smooth, Lance. _Smooth_.

"Okay, first off, _never_ call me that again." Pidge told him, crinkling her nose. "It makes it sound like you want to date me, which, sorry Lance, not my type. And second of all," she pressed forward, totally ignoring Lance's _stellar_ job of pretending to be heartbroken, "-I don't think Keith's _actually_ some kind of weird test tube baby, I just... might have considered it once, briefly, that's all."

Briefly, huh. He couldn't help but wonder _how_ brief.

"Ah, but you admit to considering it." Lance said, able, but not willing to wipe the smug grin off his face. "So anyways, listen- I know there's the whole weird desert hermit thing he had going on when we found him, but look- I'm telling you, he's _gotta_ be some kind of super top secret Garrison experiment."

"You want to tell Keith that theory to his face?" Pidge asked, raising her brows.

"Uh, no?" Lance told her. "I'm not stupid?"

"Stupid enough to actually consider the idea that one of our friends is a top secret government experiment." She pointed out.

"You thought he was a _test tube baby_!" Lance retorted.

" _Briefly_!" Pidge shot back. "What do you think anyways, that he's some kind of genetically modified super pilot?"

Oh damn, that was what he thought, like... _exactly_. But it sounded so _stupid_ when she said it like that!

Averting his eyes from her, Lance's lips twisted into a frown. "No! My theory's way cooler and much more well thought out than that!"

"That _is_ what you think, isn't it?" Pidge asked, it now her turn to look smug. "Seriously, Lance? There's no way we have the kind of tech for that."

"You never know." Lance told her, suddenly feeling defensive. "I mean, the Garrison was hiding the truth about the Kerberos mission, so who _knows_ what other kinds of crazy things they could be hiding."

Hah, he had her there, he knew.

"Alright, fine- say Keith really _is_ some kind of top secret Garrison experiment." Pidge said, holding up her hands in defeat. "Why would they let him go?"

"Maybe they didn't?" Lance ventured. "Maybe he just ran away? I mean like... the desert is probably the last place they're going to look for him, they'd have probably assumed he'd run far away."

"...I hate that that's actually plausible." Pidge admitted, narrowing her eyes. "But I'm still not buying it. Where would _Shiro_ fit in all of this?"

"I don't know, some kind of observer?" Lance asked. "Look, it's not a perfect theory, but _come on_ \- he just told us he wants to announce something. Being some kind of top secret government experiment sounds like something you'd announce!"

"It really doesn't." Pidge told him.

"Mark my words Pidge." Lance told her. "Secret Garrison experiment. I'm telling you."

* * *

The Balmera seemed to hum underneath his feet.

It was... different, far different, than it had been before. It had never really occurred to him that he'd never been on a _thriving_ Balmera before this, but the stark difference between how it felt now, and how it had felt only just a day ago was nothing short of a marvel. No wonder Kolivan had seemed so in awe of the Altean princess' power- for this surely must have been no easy feat.

He... he liked this feeling, actually. It was vibrant and warm, and it felt like he could understand what the Balmeran- _Shay_ \- had meant when she'd said that the Balmera welcomed all. It was almost like his first experience being planetside, but all the more so, the hum of life everywhere that he went.

Were he not raised on the main base, in the shadow of two massive black holes, perhaps he would be indifferent to this kind of energy. But he'd never stepped foot on an actual _planet_ until he was ten cycles old, when he'd accompanied his mother and Antok on a routine supply run, and had nearly been overwhelmed by the vibrancy of _life_.

(He'd also wandered off and had gotten lost for two hours. Whoops.)

"Keith?"

He'd been so distracted by the hum, that he hadn't even noticed Shiro coming towards him. He could read the clear concern in his voice, and took a wild guess that maybe he looked pretty dazed.

"Keith, what are you doing here?" Shiro asked. "I would have thought that with everything that happened yesterday, you'd want to avoid the Balmera."

"It's fine, Shiro." Keith reassured him, actually meaning it this time. "I'm fine. Really. I need to talk to you, actually. Uh, and Hunk, if he's around."

"I-" Shiro blinked, almost seeming to frown, before he shook it off. "Sure, he's around. I'll get him in just a second. What is it that you want to talk about?"

"I- you were right, earlier." Keith said. "I shouldn't have blown up at you like that."

And now Shiro just seemed to smile, reaching out with his human hand, resting it on his shoulder. "Glad to hear that, Keith. If you're willing to talk, then I'm always willing to listen."

"Just give me a second to find Hunk, okay? You... you're sure you're going to be fine if I leave you alone for a minute, right?" Shiro asked.

"I'm using full sentences, aren't I?" Keith asked, arching a brow- which earned him a laugh from the black paladin.

"That's true. I'll be back in just a second."

Watching as he made his way down into one of the caverns, Keith shifted on his feet when he disappeared down into it. He briefly wondered what the hum was like down in the core of the Balmera, but decided against going to figure out that much for himself. He couldn't say for sure _what_ would happen, and the last thing he needed was to lose himself again, like he had back on the temples of Elzat.

(He still couldn't recall much of those ensuing weeks, but the symbols he'd drawn were still all over the walls in the quarters he shared with his mother. And on _Antok_ , who he'd drawn on with a tool that had turned out to be tragically permanent. Thankfully, he didn't seem to mind.)

So instead he simply tried his best not to lose himself in the hum, and... well, honestly, did a pretty bad job of it. Dimly, he registered the fact that he was swaying a bit on his feet, and forced himself to stop- no wonder Shiro had sounded so worried when he'd first caught sight of him.

"Keith!" Shiro must have gotten Hunk, because that was his voice. He didn't understand why he'd gotten over the knife thing so easily- or why _Shiro_ had, for that matter- but hey, it wasn't like he was going to exactly complain about it. "What are you doing here, buddy? You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Keith repeated again, briefly wondering how many times he was going to be asked that question today alone. "Lance and Pidge are waiting in the lounge."

"So you meant it when you said you were going to tell everyone, then." Shiro observed. "I'm proud of you, Keith."

...and he was right back to feeling bad again.

He was only opening up about this part of himself because Shiro had a point- it might become a problem during future missions. And that... wasn't the only reason either. He just figured that if he opened up about at least one aspect of himself, it would make the other paladins trust him more- and be perhaps a little more liable to overlook any ensuing oddities.

Essentially, he was telling them the truth so that he could lie to them more, and now Shiro was _thanking_ him for that. That... that stung a little, more than he thought it would.

Maybe it was just because _Shiro_ was the one saying it, that's all. And maybe he'd been spending a little more time lately with the other paladins than he had originally planned to, but that didn't meant that he was getting _attached_ to them. Oh no. No way. Shiro was the one rare human, and that was it.

...right?

* * *

"So, uh, you know how back on Earth, when I said that I could sense some kind of crazy energy in the desert?"

A fantastic opening line, Keith dryly thought to himself, but where the hell else was he going to start. Might as well just dive in and get it over with. "That was... pretty literal, actually."

"I can..." and maybe he really should have put more thought into how he was actually going to put this, but that was a bit hard when even he didn't know exactly what his own _reazit_ consisted of, "...kind of pick up on energies and stuff? Back on the Balmera, I-"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up, just back up."

He should have known _Lance_ would be the one to interrupt him.

(If he ever started developing anything resembling fondness for _this_ particular Earthling, Keith knew he'd be well and truly off the deep end.)

"So what, you're saying that not only are you some kind of ace prodigy pilot," and it looked as if it pained him to admit that, "-but you're also some kind of freaky psychic too?"

"...that's not how I would put it, but sure." Keith told him. "I guess?"

"Man, that is so unfair!" Lance yelled, throwing up his arms in the air. "Why do you get all the cool things!?"

"It's not cool." Keith told him, folding his arms in front of him. "It's not even _useful_. Mostly it's just a pain in the ass."

"I mean, it's kind of cool." Pidge piped up- and Keith almost jumped, having not fully realized she'd drawn so close to him. "You're like, living proof that psychic abilities _actually exist_! Humanity has been trying to prove their existence for _centuries_! Do you think maybe I could run a few quick tests, maybe do a few brain scans?"

The sight of him viscerally backing away from the only person on the ship that was actually _smaller_ than him was probably not his most dignified moment yet, but yeah- like hell Keith was going to let _that_ happen. "I- no!"

Nope! No, no way! Nobody on this ship was going anywhere near his brain, not if he had any say in it!

"Pidge, please don't treat Keith like he's some kind of science experiment." Shiro chided her, and Keith made the mistake of turning in his direction. There was glowing pride on his face, visible as the day, and it just made the knot in Keith's stomach tighten all the more. "I know this information might be... _unusual_ , but it couldn't have been easy for him to tell us all this."

Okay, weird. There almost seemed to be something underlying in his tone, but damned if he wasn't skilled enough at picking up human nuance to make out what it was.

"But _he's_ -!" Pidge seemed to sputter, before she slumped her shoulders, seeming almost to resign to it- before making one last plea. "I'm just saying, we might be able to unlock _all kinds_ of mysteries about the human brain if we just took a bit of a-"

" _Pidge_." Shiro warned, leveling his gaze on her.

She held it for a long moment, before she finally did give up, grumbling to herself. " _Fine_."

"Aw, I feel like we're all really bonding now." Hunk chimed in, almost seeming to glow. "This is nice, I could get used to this."

"Hunk's right." Shiro said, getting to his feet, closing the distance between himself and Keith- and if he hadn't been feeling guilty before, he sure as hell was now. "I said it before, but I really am proud of you for telling us this, Keith. I know it couldn't have been easy, but I think this will bring us closer together as a team."

"I-" Keith began, before closing his mouth, instead giving Shiro a curt nod, not trusting his own words.

He couldn't tell them. He _wouldn't_ tell them.

If this allowed them some sense of unity with him, then good- that was what he wanted. He couldn't allow himself to feel guilty about carrying out his mission. He would not compromise himself.

Before he was a paladin of Voltron, he would always be a Blade.


	17. venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biting back the kind of Galran swear that would have Kolivan boxing his ears, Keith deflected its blow with his bayard sword. No level three gladiator had any business shoving him off balance as it did with the force of its blow, so yeah- no way was this bot level three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Crystal Venom time! Wow, we're so close to the end of the first season that I can almost taste it. Isn't that a thing!
> 
> Well then, until next time!

Cracking one eye open, Keith let out a loud yawn.

After his mistake the other day, he had taken a great degree of care not to repeat it. Allowing himself to fall asleep in a place that was so exposed... exhausted or not, he should have put a little more effort into securing the area before he let himself give in to slumber.

Sleeping in the red lion felt _secure_ , peaceful even. While the first time had been a mistake itself, by now it had become habit. He didn't so much mind the stiffness in his back upon waking up, not when he was able to fall asleep with the peace of mind that nobody would intrude upon him.

Which they might- he _still_ wasn't one hundred percent sure Pidge had really given up on the whole brain scan idea.

Getting to his feet, Keith took a moment to stretch. They had left the Balmera, but didn't currently have a destination in mind. Maybe he should try passing some information on to Coran, and see if the Altean man couldn't find a way to work it into their plan of attack. There were some strategic locations in this quadrant that would make good targets.

But the princess was also still recovering, and would be for the next few days. He'd only gone to visit her once, with the others- and she definitely looked exhausted.

He could kind of sympathize.

There was a faint rumble in the back of his head, the red lion speaking to him, the color black flashing through his mind. Tilting his head with a frown, Keith glanced out of its cockpit, a curious expression on his face. Sure enough, just as it had said, there was Shiro.

He wondered when Shiro had come to realize that he slept here. It wasn't like he had mentioned it to anyone, but during the early morning hours, whenever he sought him out, it would seem that he'd first come here.

Not that he could get inside, even if he knew where he slept. Muttering a soft reassurance to the red lion, he watched as the particle barrier dropped, and Shiro perked up, seeming to take it as a sign that the person he was waiting for was awake.

...come to think of it, when did _Shiro_ sleep? Humans were supposed to sleep a lot longer than he did, he knew, but for some reason, it felt like Shiro was always awake before he was.

He knew from his research that humans could dream. It was a concept that was beyond his own understanding- for Galra did not dream. But he _had_ witnessed a fair number of sleeping humans in his time on Earth- for some reason his roommates back at the Galaxy Garrison had seemed to be on an almost constant rotation- and he thought he understood it, a little bit.

(He also learned that humans did not appreciate being watched while they slept.)

Dreams could just as easily turn into nightmares. He knew this, because one of his past roommates seemed to have nightmares about _him_. He still didn't get that.

He wondered if Shiro had nightmares.

It was easy to imagine why he would. The gladiator pits seemed the stuff of them.

Should he... should he talk to him about it? What would he even say? He didn't know the first thing about dreams, much less nightmares- not what it was to _have_ them, anyways. What if he just made it transparently obvious he'd never had one in his life?

Putting the thought out of his mind for the moment, Keith grabbed his jacket, tugging it on. Heading down the ramp, he cast a slight smile over towards the black paladin, wondering what it was that he wanted.

Maybe he just wanted to make sure that he hadn't attacked anyone in his sleep again. Which was... fair, he guessed. He still felt bad about doing it to Hunk, as relatively well as he had handled the matter. Better than any of his roommates back at the Garrison had, at any rate.

(...wait. Was _that_ why his roommates had rotated so often?)

Though he _had_ been kind of acting weird around him ever since then. Which made sense, he guessed- except that he didn't seem _wary_ , so much as... he didn't know _what_ , exactly. Whatever it was, it wasn't something he'd had cause to have experience with.

"Morning, Keith." Shiro greeted him. "Rest well?"

"Yeah." Nodding his head, Keith gave him a small frown. "What are you doing here?"

"Rounding everyone up." Shiro told him. "We're all gathering in the detainment room. Coran and I have been talking about a way to extract information from Sendak."

Now that caught his attention.

"We're not going to let him out, are we?" Keith asked, wary. Sendak was dangerous, just having him on the ship was a huge risk, even if he _was_ currently unconscious. Waking him up would be...

Besides, he couldn't say for sure if other Galra would be able to smell the Galra on him or not. _He_ couldn't, but then again, he wouldn't be attacking people in his sleep if his sense of smell was as it should be.

"No, we're not doing that." Shiro reassured him. "Don't worry. Granted, I'm... not sure if it will actually work or not, but it's at least worth a try."

Well that was curious, Keith thought to himself, tilting his head. "You just going to keep me in suspense?"

"Don't worry, Coran will explain it all once we get there. Probably better than I can." Shiro told him. "Just... just be sure to let me know if you start feeling uncomfortable, Keith."

It took him a moment longer than he'd like to admit to determine what he meant by that- and when he did, he merely shot Shiro an exasperated look. Ever since he'd told them, he had been almost overly cautious around him, and it was starting to get on his nerves.

Listen, the Balmera had been bad, he'd give them that, but it wasn't like he was _fragile_.

At least he seemed to have the good sense to realize it, giving him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry Keith, I know this is exactly what you wanted to avoid but... I worry about you, you know that, right?"

He did, and he frankly did not understand it.

Come to think of it, _Shiro_ had been acting kind of weird ever since their argument in the kitchen. He'd figured Hunk had told them about the whole _held at knife point thing_ then, but he'd never really asked. Had they maybe talked about something?

About him?

Great, another reason to worry.

Still, none of it felt like they suspected that he was _Galra_ , so he tried not to let it get to him. And maybe he'd find out soon enough on his own anyways- he'd spent a fair bit of yesterday bugging all the common rooms, the kitchen included.

"I know, Shiro." Keith told him. "And I promise, if I feel off, you'll be the first to know."

He paused then, giving him a slight frown.

"...why would I feel off to begin with?"

* * *

Oh, so that was why.

He could kind of understand how Shiro had made that leap of logic- and even though he was off base in the end, he wasn't wrong about him feeling uncomfortable with this. It just had nothing to do with any ability to sense energies.

The concept of extracting memories... it was not something that sat well with him. Maybe it was just because his people had been ruled over by a tyrant for the past ten thousand years, one that _should_ have died long ago, but the continued existence of a being past its natural life span...

When one died, they returned to the void, and that was the end of things. His culture was _not_ one that believed in things such as souls, or any kind of afterlife- you existed, and then you did not, and nothing should happen to deter that cycle.

For obvious reasons, that was not a belief widely held amongst the Galra today- but among the Blade of Marmora, the old beliefs still held sway. He could not for the life of him understand how a culture that _did_ believe in an afterlife, that _did_ believe in souls, could possibly ever be so at ease with the idea of creating a digital ghost of those departed.

The knowledge that there was such a ghost on the castle-ship probably brought him as much apprehension as it did the princess joy.

The idea that the humans, who _also_ believed in souls, who _also_ believed in an afterlife, were so readily at ease with the idea of extracting the memories of the dead only managed to befuddle him. Lance had even _joked_ about it.

( _The amount of information in your brain could fit in a paper airplane_ , he'd sniped in response, in part to mask his own discomfort, and in part because well... it was true, he'd stand by that.)

Sendak not actually being dead did _nothing_ to offset the feeling. All he could do was stand as stiff as he could, so as to not betray anything that he was thinking.

Fine. He could deal with this. This wasn't his call, and he was clearly outnumbered here. At least _Coran_ had the decency to seem uncomfortable about using the technique on an unwilling participant- _Pidge_ on the other hand just seemed endlessly fascinated by the whole affair.

Figures the girl who wanted to scan his brain would disregard the autonomy of the enemy. And okay, _maybe_ he shouldn't talk- it wasn't like the Blade of Marmora was above torture if it got them the information that they needed, and he couldn't exactly claim that _he'd_ never been part and parcel to said interrogation methods, but as far as he was concerned, there was a clear difference between that and _this_.

Though to be fair, the humans and Alteans alike would probably be appalled by his own standpoint there, so... fairs fair, he guessed.

Even if it didn't work, at least maybe Coran could use it as a good excuse to put to use some of the information that he had given him. Granted, anything that he could tell him was nearly two Earth years out of date- Kolivan had not been keeping him up to tabs with the current state of the war while he had been on Earth. But still, it was _way_ more recent than anything anyone else on this castle-ship had.

Save for maybe Shiro, but it would seem that his memories of being Zarkon's captive were still in patches. If they were truly giving him nightmares, then maybe that was for the best.

Leaning against one of the unused detainment pods, Keith frowned. Nearly half an hour had passed with no results, and from the sound of it, _something_ should have happened by now.

So as far as he could tell, it hadn't worked.

Stretching out his shoulders, he pushed himself upright. If nothing was going to happen, then he shouldn't be wasting any more time on this. Better to make up for lost time on the training deck, than sit around and wait.

Shiro didn't even budge when he announced he was leaving- and although that kind of bothered him, he mostly put it out of his mind.

* * *

The weight and feel of the bayard in his hand was still something he was getting used to.

The urge to simply toss it aside and unsheathe his blade was strong, giving up the unfamiliar for the familiar, but he put it aside. He needed to get used to using his bayard- it was the weapon of a paladin, and against all common sense, that was him.

_Someone_ had locked him out of the training deck for the past two days- he suspected Coran, at the behest of Shiro. For the sake of his recovery, or something like that. He'd been half ready to use a workaround to get in if it didn't open up for him today, but it would seem that there had been no need for that.

He'd also taken the chance to finally bug the training deck. Now he'd be able to monitor the paladins' progress and adjust his own battle plans accordingly. If he could make up for their weak spots, it would make them more effective as a team- or something like that, he thought. He was still new to this whole _protect your teammates_ thing, but damned if he wasn't going to at least _try_.

(The irony that he was gathering the means with which to do so by _spying_ on them was not lost to him.)

Going through his forms in the red lion's hangar was not the same as having an opponent to duke it out with. The gladiators on the castle-ship were impressive, he was more than willing to admit that, even if it did make him miss having actual living opponents to fight against.

He missed sparring with Antok and Regris, missed having the occasional bout with Kolivan- even if the latter _did_ usually end with him getting his ass handed to him on a platter, as the humans would say. He'd missed it back on Earth too, but now that he was here in space, he found himself missing it all the more.

(He missed sparring with his mother most of all, but he'd enough time to get used to not being able to do so.)

There was no one on the castle-ship he could ask to spar with him. It wasn't about _skill_ \- Allura would likely be able to keep up with him, and Shiro too, in all likelihood. It was more about _him_ \- what if he lost himself to the itch of a good fight, allowed himself to do things that no human had any business doing? He did not fully understand where human limits began and ended, so he wouldn't be able to catch himself until it was too late.

So gladiators it was.

As much as he was itching for a good fight, he had decided to take it gradual today. Start from level one, and work his way back up from there. He'd just dispatched a level two training bot without much difficulty, so he was moving along at a nice clip.

"Start training sequence, level three."

Maybe if he'd been here longer, fought more training bots, he would have noticed something was off a bit quicker. But as it was, he hadn't, so it wasn't until a level three gladiator sent him flying halfway across the room with a suspiciously well placed kick, did he realize that something was wrong.

That was _not_ a level three gladiator.

A malfunction? Coran did say that the Castle was having issues. Maybe it would be for the best to scrap his plans with the training deck today, until he got a chance to go over the systems.

"End training sequence." Keith called out, pausing for a moment, not at all missing the way the gladiator definitely did _not_ vanish. Grip tightening on his bayard, Keith narrowed his eyes, wondering if this was just another bug.

" _End training sequence_." He repeated- and once more, the only result his words got was the steady approach of the gladiator- before it surged forward in a burst of speed.

Biting back the kind of Galran swear that would have Kolivan boxing his ears, Keith deflected its blow with his bayard sword. No level three gladiator had _any_ business shoving him off balance as it did with the force of its blow, so yeah- no way was this bot level three.

Something was definitely wrong here. If he didn't know any better, he'd say this bot was trying to _kill_ him.

Panic surged through his mind for the span of a moment- enough for the gladiator to send him flying again, his bayard flying from his hand, sliding towards the other side of the room. Bereft of his weapon and acting on pure instinct, he reached behind him, drawing his knife. As the gladiator surged towards him with a burst of speed that he didn't know the bot was capable of, he didn't so much think as he just went with his gut.

It was only when the gladiator vanished that he realized that he had extended his blade.

Drawing in a long breath, Keith straightened, one hand still tightly gripping the hilt of his sword. Turning on his heel, he cast a suspicious glance to where the gladiator had just been, as if half expecting to still find it there. But he'd struck true, and it would seem that whatever malfunction had caused its strange behavior, didn't seem as if it would be able to simply summon another one out of the blue.

Shifting his sword back into a knife, he wasted no time shoving it back into its sheath. That... probably had not been the world's best decision, he thought, hurriedly gathering his bayard and fixing it to his belt.

So, two things. He had to do two things.

First- erase the camera footage.

Second- find Coran and tell him about the _homicidal training bot_. Maybe the infection from Sendak's Galra crystal was worse than he'd thought.

* * *

"Oh man, Keith. I never thought I would say this, but I sure am glad to see you, buddy."

Out of all the people on the castle-ship to show up in his hour of need, Keith was probably dead last on his list. But hey, it had stopped him from being sucked out into space via the airlock, so he wasn't exactly _complaining_.

What had he even done, sensed his imminent panic at his approaching death with those freaky psychic powers of his and come running? Look, he _still_ didn't know how the whole psychic deal worked, and Keith's description of it had been far from enlightening, so far all he knew, that totally could have been what had happened.

Well, whatever the case, he was honest to god glad to see him and his ugly mullet.

"Nice to see you too, Lance." Ugh, did his tone have to be so _dry_? "What were you even _doing_ in the airlock?"

"I was in the airlock because apparently, the Castle is trying to _kill me_ today!" Lance told him, rubbing his arms, half swearing that he could still feel the chill from the cryopod. "First it locked me in a cryopod and tried to freeze me, and then it lured me into the airlock using Coran's voice!"

Keith somehow... did not seem half as surprised by this information as he'd thought he would be. "Okay, I'm going to take a stab in the dark here- judging from your _total_ lack of reaction, I'd say the Castle's tried to kill you too."

"One of the gladiator bots tried to murder me." Keith said, with all the nonchalance in the world, as if that was somehow _not_ an intensely frightening experience in and of itself. "Took care of it."

Man, top secret Garrison experiment or not, sometimes he still didn't understand why Keith was like this. "Okay, but just to confirm- it _did_ try to kill you, right? Like, you didn't ask it to."

"...why would I ask the training bot to try and kill me?" Keith asked, his expression taking a turn for the incredulous.

"I- no reason, just checking." Lance told him. Hey, he'd heard from Pidge that Keith was fighting those things on stupid hard levels, so it was possible. "Anyways, we've got to find Coran and tell him that no matter what he says, this Castle is _definitely_ haunted."

"Haunted." Keith repeated, arching a brow.

"Uh, how else would you explain it trying to kill the both of us?" Lance asked.

"Infection." Keith told him. "From Sendak's crystal."

Narrowing his eyes, Lance couldn't help but frown. Okay, when he put it that way, it made sense but- you know what, he was going to stick with haunted. Because he was damn sure he'd seen a ghost, and he didn't think Sendak's stupid Galra crystal could explain _that_.

...also wait, Keith was a _psychic_ , and he was acting _this_ incredulous about a haunting? What the heck was up with _that_?

* * *

_Shiro!_

How had he not put two and two together before now? He knew that Sendak's Galra crystal had to be what was infecting the ship, causing all of these murderous malfunctions- and yet he hadn't stopped once to think about Shiro. Shiro, who was currently alone with Sendak- a _frozen_ Sendak, but Sendak nonetheless.

He knew he should have killed him when he had the chance.

When they arrived at the detainment room, it didn't take him long to notice that something was wrong. Shiro was leaning back against the containment pod for Sendak's memories, his breath coming in rapid, shallow bursts.

And Sendak's pod was gone.

He barely heard him, as he went on, a frantic note to his voice telling them how he had been hearing his voice, how he had to get him out of here.

How he couldn't be trusted on this ship.

He- he wasn't wrong, they should have _never_ have left Sendak alive. No amount of information was worth letting such a dangerous member of the Galran military live, but for Shiro to have... he'd _shot him into space_! He'd been frozen in a pod, _defenseless_ , and he'd... he'd gotten rid of him, just like that.

It would have been one thing for him to do it- when they were the defenseless was the best time to strike at the enemy- but this was _Shiro_. He'd been... he'd been trained to do that, but Shiro- Shiro had grown up on Earth, at peace, he should have never...

It was enough to make Keith's blood run cold.

If... If Shiro knew, would he do the same to him? Would he even let him have the chance to explain himself? Suddenly, his earlier belief that he might actually _understand_ , from when they'd still been back on Arus, desperately trying to form Voltron again, seemed so _naive_.

No, no, he could never tell Shiro. He could never tell _any_ of them.

He must have been wearing his abject terror on his face, because it caught Coran's eye. For a moment, the Altean man looked as if he was going to say something to him- but he never got the chance.

It looked like they had bigger things to worry about.

The ship was starting a wormhole jump.

* * *

They were headed straight for a star.

A star that was _about to explode_.

See? He _knew_ digital ghosts- artificial intelligence, _AI_ , whatever they wanted to call it- were a bad idea. If they didn't have one on the ship, they wouldn't be hurtling to their deaths right now.

And Allura wouldn't have to watch her father die a second time.

* * *

In all honesty, she hadn't been expecting Keith.

He had been avoiding her ever since he'd first boarded the castle-ship. The last time she had been alone with him, it was back when they had still been on Arus, searching for the red lion's whereabouts.

It was strange, really. To think that the red paladin of Voltron had gone from being someone that she understood so well- and her heart ached anew as she thought of her father- to one that she understood so very little.

She knew next to nothing about Keith, and she suspected that she was not alone in this. While it would seem that he did not go out of his way to avoid the paladins, as he did with her, he never quite seemed to seek them out either. What time he didn't spend isolated on the training deck was spent isolated inside of the red lion's hangar, as if he had no intention of interacting with any of them more than he absolutely had to.

So suffice to say, out of all the possible paladins she would have suspected would find her crying her eyes out on the observation deck, it was _not_ Keith.

And crying her eyes out she was, she was not so proud that she could not admit it for what it was. How could she not? She had just lost her father a second time, only this time, it had not been Zarkon who had so cruelly stolen his life away- it had been her.

It had been _her_ , and even though she knew that it had to be done, that her father _wanted_ it that way, that it was not _truly_ him, she did not think she could ever forgive herself.

So yes, she was crying.

"What do you want?" She asked, knowing that her tone came off far more cold than she wished.

She could not imagine that he had come here to comfort her- he'd not said a word back on the bridge, not when all the others had. And it was not that she was so desperate for it, or that she thought the paladins were in any way duty bound to give it to her- for she was not, and they were not.

Every attempt she had made to reach out to the new red paladin thus far had failed. He had little to no interest in her, so if he had come here to seek her out, she could not even begin to imagine what it was that he'd come to say. Perhaps to rush her back to bed, as if she were some kind of delicate flower, ready to wilt at the faintest touch.

She was _not_ \- this was a dark hour, but she would emerge from this, stronger than she had been before.

"I'm... sorry your father tried to kill you?"

And though she sensed that was not entirely what he had wanted to say, she could not help but snap at it, jerking her head up in anger. "That was _not_ my father."

And he flinched- Keith visibly flinched, almost seeming to recoil at her anger. It was enough to make her draw back, allowing her shoulders to slump. Perhaps he _had_ , actually, been attempting to comfort her, she realized, but simply did not know how to go about it.

"And it was not only _me_ who it tried to kill."

There was a long pause there, before Keith's gaze dropped away. "Guess not."

The silence that touched the room was not so much awkward as it was strained- making it all too clear that the two of them truly did not understand the other. But perhaps Keith was trying to reach out to her- and if that was the case, she could not, would not, reject him.

"What was _your_ father like?" She asked, wanting, if only for a moment, to take her thoughts away from her own.

Except that was clearly the wrong thing to ask, because Keith only grew cold. "I don't know. He was killed when I was a few months old."

_Killed_. An unmistakable choice of words. Whatever had taken Keith's father from this world, it had _not_ been natural causes.

"I am... sorry to hear that." Allura told him- and truly, she was.

"Don't be." Keith told her, only seeming to grow more cold. "It's good that he's dead."

She did not need any further words to understand that though her own father had been wondrous, the same did _not_ hold true for Keith's own. Not if his own son thought the world was better off when it was rid of him, more of a testament to the man's character than anything else could possibly be.

"I am sorry about your father though, princess." Keith told her- and she sensed that was what he had been trying to say, when he'd first spoken to her.

So he actually _was_ trying to comfort her then. Who would have thought?

"Thank you." She told him. "But I will be alright. Just having him around, even if only for a short while, being able to say goodbye... it is more than I thought I would have."

And for the span of a moment, she thought she saw it- _guilt_ , plain as day in those violet eyes of his. But for the life of her, she could not place why it was there, and before she could truly question it, it was gone, as if she had merely just imagined it.

Part of her wanted to ask after it, the same way part of her wanted to ask after why he had been avoiding her so. But she thought better of it.

Keith was... strange, but perhaps not as cold as she had first thought.

"I should be asking if you are feeling alright." Allura said, giving him a faint smile. "Coran told me that you fainted after you returned from the Balmera."

Ah, that was a grimace, there was no mistaking it. "Yeah, well, I'm fine now."

"Glad to hear it, then." Allura told him, giving him a firm nod. "We were all worried about you. Though I suppose," she said, a faint smile twitching at the corner of her lips,"-that I am in not much of a position to chide you for pushing yourself."

To that, he gave her something of a smirk, arching a brow. "Probably not."

"Yes, probably not." She agreed. "Would you care to join me?"

Hesitation, his gaze once more averting from her. "I- no. Sorry."

Well, it wasn't as if she had been expecting him to, though that was more frank an admission of it than she had been fully anticipating. Still, she wouldn't force him.

"No need to apologize." She told him, turning her gaze back to the stars. "I will not keep you here any longer, then."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could just make out the curt nod of his head. And like that, without so much as another word, the red paladin was gone.

Her heart, she thought, though still heavy with grief, was not so heavy as it had been before.


	18. quintessence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The burst of energy that forced him backwards sent him slamming into one of the massive containers that lined the room, shattering it. Grunting, he drew in a sharp intake of breath, his right hand throbbing in pain. He must have taken a direct hit, because the armor on his hand was burned away, and his skin was-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter seventeen, also known was the chapter where Keith spends half of it internally screaming and the other half of it making very bad life choices of his own. And with this, we're literally one episode away until the end! The final episode of season one might be covered in two chapters, depending on how things go- I can't be sure until I actually start writing!
> 
> Until next time!

" _Boring_. I want the big _kaboom_."

Fighting the urge to growl, Keith stared blankly over towards Lance. He would have thought that getting blown up would have been enough for him to realize that this was serious, that he couldn't keep treating this war like it was some kind of game, but apparently, he'd overestimated the blue paladin.

At least Shiro was quick to reprimand him- even if he did grumble at being referred to as an _inexperienced pilot_. Maybe he hadn't been flying for as long as Thace had- or even been alive for that long- but _inexperienced_? He'd flown more combat missions than _Shiro_ had.

At least the memory probing had gotten them something useful. Fighting the urge to confirm that it was, in fact, _galactic hub_ \- and not _space base_ , or whatever ridiculous thing Lance had suggested, he frowned at the coordinates that Coran pulled up.

As far as he knew, there was nothing out there- nevermind any of the empire's bases. But for something like this to be stored in Sendak's memory... his brows furrowed together, wondering if they hadn't just stumbled onto something important.

When Coran looked back towards them, the Altean man briefly caught his eye. Sensing his silent question, Keith merely gave him a small shrug of his shoulders. He couldn't help him here.

If there was something out here, then the Blade of Marmora didn't know about it. Which in and of itself, was already something worth noting.

The only thing left to do was go and check it out themselves.

With some time still before they arrived, Keith excused himself from the bridge. Making first sure that nobody had followed him, he made his way quickly down to the red lion's hangar, taking the shortest route to it from the bridge that wasn't the direct route. He needed to check with Kolivan about this- maybe he knew something.

"Hey, Red." Glancing up at the red lion, Keith gave it something of a small smile. It hadn't even been that long, and it had already become a familiar, reassuring presence in his life. "Open up."

The red lion complied, lowering the ramp and allowing Keith to board. Once inside, he pulled out his transmitter, switching it on and putting out a call to Kolivan.

He had briefed Kolivan about the situation with Sendak, so he was likely expecting a call at some point. He'd sent out a pair of agents to investigate the coordinates from which Sendak had been ejected, but they hadn't been able to turn up anything conclusive, much less any sign of the Galra commander or his pod.

It left him with a feeling of unease, like a loose end that would come back to haunt them later.

"I've got some coordinates that I need you to check." He told him, getting straight to the point.

He had time, but not a lot of it. He didn't want to be away from the bridge for so long that people started questioning where he went.

"Send them over." Kolivan merely told him, sensing the urgency of the transmission without needing to be told. Bringing up a separate screen and doing just that, he watched as Kolivan looked them over, his brow seeming to furrow.

"According to the information they managed to extract from Sendak's memories," he told him, his nose crinkling, _still_ not fond of the idea, "-there's supposed to be some kind of galactic hub somewhere in this area. The castle-ship's long range scanners were unable to detect anything, so we're on our way there now to check it out ourselves."

"Any chance you know anything, leader?"

"There's nothing in our database at this location." Kolivan told him. "Can this information be trusted?"

"They pulled it straight from Sendak's brain, so," giving him a shrug, Keith frowned, "- _probably_?"

Kolivan seemed to mull over this information- but only for the span of a moment. "Go and check it out, Kyix. Report back what you find."

"Understood." Switching off his transmitter, he tucked it back away in his pouch, springing to his feet. Normally, he'd be leaping at the chance to run a mission like this, but under his current circumstances?

Scouting an unidentified, possibly top secret base with the paladins of Voltron... that just sounded like trouble.

* * *

"I'm sorry princess, but did you say _we_?"

Scratch that- this was going to be _a lot_ of trouble.

Between the two of them, he had cause to know Galran transportation hubs better. Sure, she had traveled through them before, he believed that- but that had been _ten thousand years ago_. The last time he had infiltrated one had been just a little over two years ago, right before he had left for Earth.

He couldn't believe Shiro _agreed_ to it.

Could the Altean princess handle herself? Oh sure, no doubt about it.

Was her coming on this mission with them a good idea? Probably not.

Hell, he could have run this mission by himself. Get in, get out, get the information that they needed. He was literally trained to do _exactly that_ \- had done exactly that, countless times! What was the point of having to undergo all that training if he couldn't even put it to good use when it was needed?

But he wasn't here as an agent of the Blade of Marmora, but as a paladin of Voltron. And that meant doing things their way- even when their way was full of holes.

Blowing out a breath, Keith merely folded his arms in front of him. He could deal with this. He could.

* * *

Get in, get out. That was all they had to do.

The _getting in_ part had been easy- though they really should have just stabbed the officer on duty and been done with it.

For all that, even with the princess in tow, things seemed to be going smoothly. Even the minor hiccup of a ship arriving while they were there had proved to be just that- a minor hiccup. Even if the data that they had gathered didn't seem to be useful at first glance, just knowing that this base was here was important in and of itself.

Now that the Blade of Marmora had this information, they could infiltrate the base, pry out any hidden secrets that it might contain. There was no need for the paladins of Voltron to do anything more here.

Except that didn't seem to satisfy the Altean princess.

Why did the damn ship have to be heading to _Central Command_ , of all places? If it had been heading literally anywhere else, she probably would have dropped the idea entirely, but no- it was heading to Central Command, and that meant that it likely had the information that they needed.

She wasn't wrong, but a time limited infiltration mission with such high stakes? That wasn't a mission for an amateur. Mess up, and she'd be basically hand delivering herself straight to Zarkon.

Kolivan would have never let him run a mission like this.

And okay, sure- he'd... done some pretty similar things in the past, worming his way into missions that he had no reason to be on. But he'd been _trained_ \- and the fact that they hadn't killed the officer on duty made it explicitly clear to him that none of the paladins- or the Altean princess- had been trained to pull off any kind of infiltration mission.

Much less one like this.

Because again- _Central Command_.

...although the fact that the princess could apparently shapeshift was... news, to be sure. Did... did Kolivan know that fact about Alteans? Because _he_ didn't know that fact about Alteans.

And sure, okay, with that, she could strip the officer ( _still_ should have killed him) and sneak aboard the ship in disguise using his uniform, but everything on a cruiser like that would be biolocked. Just changing the color of her skin and getting a little taller wouldn't make her Galra, she wouldn't be able to access the information on her own.

Except Shiro was going _with_ her now.

To his credit, he managed not to flinch when Pidge brought up the fact that Shiro's hand was- supposedly- their only key to unlock Galra tech. Holding his breath, he let his gaze briefly flicker towards Lance- who didn't so much as blink at the statement.

He'd _seen_ him use Galra tech, but judging from his total non-reaction, it didn't seem as if he remembered. Maybe he'd just forgotten all about it.

...and now that he thought about it, he hadn't mentioned _that_ particular slip up to Kolivan either. He'd just have to hope it didn't come back around to bite him in the ass.

* * *

Quintessence.

Two, huge containers of the stuff.

They caught his eye at once, drawing his attention away from Allura and Shiro. He only barely noticed that they had been allowed to pass through once the containers were off the ship.

Why were they bringing quintessence here? _Raw_ quintessence at that.

(Not sporks, sorry Hunk.)

That was when he felt it, like a prickle at the back of his neck. Swallowing, he gripped the console a little tighter, hoping that he didn't give too much away on his face.

A druid.

There was a druid here.

_Why_ was there a druid here? As far as they had been able to gather, this place was nothing more than a glorified shipping and receiving center. Given how well hidden the transportation hub was, he suspected that there was something more to it.

The presence of a druid all but confirmed that.

Drawing in a long breath, for the span of a moment, he half feared he'd blow their cover by virtue of being what he was- but at no point did the druid look up, or turn their way. It seemed focused on the task at hand- receiving the two containers of raw quintessence.

He let out his breath, feeling his shoulders slump. Good. The last thing he wanted was for the druid to come here, where the paladins were. The three would be an ill match for one, and he didn't know if he'd be able to protect them and his secret at the same time.

(Something would have to give. He knew which one. Replacing a paladin was not so easy, but one paladin would be easier to replace than three.)

When it moved, he knew that he couldn't leave this alone. He had to find out why there was a druid here, and what, exactly, they were doing with that raw quintessence.

"I'm going to go check it out."

He barely even listened to Lance's protests, already on his way out the door. So maybe he was doing the same exact thing that he'd just gotten on Allura's case for doing- but again, he was actually trained for this.

...granted, not while wearing this clunky, eye catching armor, and not while in human form, but still- _trained_.

Following the druid didn't prove to be too much of a problem- though he made sure to keep his distance, just in case. He didn't know if it would be able to sense him or not, but he wasn't about to take that chance.

He'd get in, find out what it was doing here, then get out.

Dispatching the sentries that it had left behind- presumably to guard it while it did whatever it was doing, Keith quietly crept down the hall, careful to render his footfalls as silent as possible. It was harder than he wished in his paladin armor, but he'd already established that it wasn't exactly built for stealth.

Hovering just out of view, he narrowed his eyes. Looked like they weren't just dealing with a mere two containers of raw quintessence- but _hundreds_.

Now he understood why the base had been hidden. This was a conversion facility.

"Coran," he whispered, linking his visor to the castle-ship's communications, "...you need to see this."

He would save the footage to send to Kolivan later. There was no doubt he would be very interested in what was going on here. Taking down a conversion facility would put a good dent into the Galra Empire's ability to refuel its ships.

There was something to the Altean's sharp gasp that gave him pause- and mentally, he kicked himself. They had been asleep for ten thousand years, and to their knowledge, the only way to obtain quintessence- the rift- had been closed off.

They didn't know that the Galra Empire had found other methods with which to obtain it since then. They didn't just strip planets for crystals, or for ore, like the paladins had already seen with the Balmera, and with the planet that the yellow lion had been found on. They also stripped them of their quintessence.

If they ever managed to get the _komar_ working... he almost didn't want to think about it.

He'd only heard whispers of it before he'd left for Earth, but he knew that Kolivan was troubled over the experiment's mere existence. He could understand why.

That they had learned how to mine quintessence was bad enough, but if the Galra Empire ever obtained the ability to strip an entire planet of it in the blink of an eye... even Kolivan would rather risk running a suicide mission to destroy it, rather than leave that kind of power in their hands.

Shaking that thought off, he fixed his attention back to the situation at hand. He'd need to get a sample.

That was standard procedure upon discovering a conversion facility, since every so often, the empire managed to change the formula, creating something new. Even if he wouldn't be able to send it to the Blade of Marmora, they could still analyze it back on the castle-ship, and he could send that data back to Kolivan.

"I'm going to steal some of this," and Keith paused for the span of a second, "... _quint-whatever_."

If he said it like that, maybe nobody would notice that he actually knew what this stuff was.

(Except Coran, who already knew, who he could almost _feel_ was judging him for his choice of words over the com link.)

Stealing the refined quintessence hadn't been a problem. The path it took went right by his hiding place, all he needed was one smooth maneuver to grab it, and the job was done. Now all he had to do was return to the control room and regroup with the others, and-

Then he felt it.

That foul presence was no longer a comfortable distance away from him, but rather- _shit_!

The druid had noticed him!

He barely had time to pivot on his heel, leaping backwards to put some distance between the two of them, the druid all but manifesting where he had just been, mere seconds before. He hadn't lost his grip on the small container of refined quintessence, but he tossed it aside, in favor of summoning his bayard.

Now wasn't the time to steal, now was the time to _fight_.

He'd never fought a druid before- Kolivan had always been cautious to keep him as far away from them as possible- but there was a first time for everything. He'd gotten himself into this situation, so he'd just have to get himself back out of it.

Easy. He'd done the same thing countless times before.

The druid stilled for a moment, and though he knew that beyond the mask, there was merely a formless void, he could sense its eyes lock onto him. It was a sensation that made his skin crawl, the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

It said nothing to him, though he knew that they were capable of words.

Even so, he knew.

_It_ knew.

Suddenly, he could understand why it was that Kolivan kept him away from druids. It sensed it- maybe not what he was, but what he could _do_ , even under his human skin, even past the constant hum of the device that filtered his quintessence, altering his appearance.

Biting back a swear, knowing that if it came out now, it would be in Galran, he gripped his bayard all the tighter, summoning his sword in a flash. It only took the druid a span of a second to mark him as hostile. but that was more than enough time for it to shoot out an arc of lightning, crackling and foul.

It moved fast, but he was just a slight bit faster, and whatever advantage he could gain here, he would put to good use. Biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, he forced himself to focus his thoughts, trying not to fixate on the twisted, foul energy of the druid. He couldn't afford to.

At least he was alone- he'd stand a better chance against this thing if he didn't have worry about something as bothersome as human limits.

The fight was more one sided than he'd like to admit. He'd been trained to fight against _soldiers_ , not druids. His speed and agility were his greatest strengths, but they were next to nothing when faced up against an enemy who could teleport. The element of surprise, his biggest ally, could not have been more lost to him.

At least he had the advantage of being able to tell where it would pop out from next- but even that was only by seconds, enough to evade, but not enough to counterattack. If he was going to gain any ground in this fight, then he needed to think of _something_.

For once, he almost found himself grateful for the paladin armor- its bulk, which normally made it too clunky for his tastes, was just the defense boost that he needed. It would do nothing to protect him if he took one of the druid's blasts head on, but it kept him safe from the residual energy that crackled out from the bolts in threw.

-and to come to think of it, his paladin armor also had-!

Gripping his bayard tighter, Keith went with the plan as soon as he thought of it. Using smoke as cover, he used his armor's jet pack, coming around from behind the druid. Lashing out with his sword, it struck against the druid's barrier, causing him to grit his teeth, using all the force he had to try and power through it.

If he could take out a druid-!

But something had to give, and that something was him.

The burst of energy that forced him backwards sent him slamming into one of the massive containers that lined the room, shattering it. Grunting, he drew in a sharp intake of breath, his right hand throbbing in pain. He must have taken a direct hit, because the armor on his hand was burned away, and his skin was-

Against his better judgement, he froze.

His skin was _purple_.

Not the whole of it- the color mottled his hand, almost like a burn. But it was enough.

The druid's blast had done this, Keith thought- and jerking up his head, he searched for it, just barely able to scramble to his feet to avoid another blast of lightning. He couldn't afford to take another one of those- he didn't know what it had done to him, or if it could even be reversed.

Would it spread? Had it damaged the device? Was this how he was going to be exposed?

In the back of his mind, he marveled at the surge of panic the thought of becoming _himself_ again sent through him. In any other situation, he would have welcomed it. Hell, back on Earth, he'd outright _longed_ for it, missed seeing his usual shade of lavender whenever he caught sight of himself.

But now? Now was the worst time.

Switching hands, Keith gripped his bayard in his left, facing down the druid. Behind its mask, he could sense its formless eyes on him, and he had to fight back the urge to vomit. If this thing thought it was going to get the better of him, then it had another thing coming.

It wasn't like he had any other choice- he doubted the druid would simply let him walk away. If he didn't take it out, it would be his head on the floor- or _worse_. The armor he wore alone probably already had him marked for capture.

Like he'd let it.

Readying to throw himself back into battle, the sound of something crumbling caught his ears instead. The ceiling all but seemed to be caving in on itself, and for a moment, he couldn't understand what was happening- before the green lion came crashing in through the hole it had made.

He blinked.

Then blinked again.

What... what was the green lion- what was _Pidge_ \- doing here?

"Get in!" Pidge's voice barked. "We've got to get Shiro and Allura!"

It took him a long second to process that- and when it finally clicked, when he finally realized that she had come for him, he didn't know what to make of it. Casting a frantic glance back towards the druid's direction, he found that it had vanished.

" _Keith!_ " Pidge's voice seemed to hiss, and he jerked up at the sound of it. Glancing towards the open mouth of the green lion, he frowned, hesitating for only the span of a moment, before he scrambled inside.

"Keith!" Hunk piped up almost as soon as he showed his face in the cockpit. "Aw man, buddy, you cannot do something like that again!"

"I-" Keith began, his brows furrowing. "You came for me?"

He knew, in theory, that the paladins of Voltron did not leave people behind. He just hadn't expected it to apply to _him_.

"Uh, yeah?" Lance spoke up, staring at him as if he'd asked the dumbest possible question. "Why _wouldn't_ we come to get you?"

The question hit him with a weight that the one asking it probably didn't expect it to. He said it like it was such a simple thing, so obvious, but he knew- he knew that going back for people could get people killed.

"Because something could have happened to you." Keith told him, his voice devoid of emotion. "Then two men would be down, instead of just one."

Or in this case, _four_.

The hushed silence his words earned him was nothing short of baffling. He'd only stated the obvious, so why the hell were they all looking at him like that?

Especially Hunk, who almost seemed to be... was he... was he _crying_? Tearing up, at the very least.

(He honestly did not understand the evolutionary advantage to leaking saltwater from ones eyes.)

And now he was embracing him? What was going on? All he'd done was stated the facts.

"Uh, Hunk?" Keith blinked, wondering what he should be doing with himself. Was this a scenario in which he should return the embrace? Outside of parent and child, this sort of thing just wasn't done in Galra culture.

At least Hunk seemed to realize that he was making him uncomfortable, and pulled away. "You don't have to think like that, Keith. _Of course_ we'd come get you."

Opening and closing his mouth, Keith realized that there was nothing he could say in this situation that wouldn't further peg him as the odd man out. Wisely, he just close to shut his mouth instead, folding his arms in front of him.

It was only then, that he remembered the mottled purple color of his right hand. Quickly casting a glance down towards it, he noted the way it hadn't faded- and moved to bury it underneath his arm before any of the others could notice.

Thankfully, none of them had. Once they got back to the castle-ship, he could take a closer look at it, maybe consult Kolivan about the matter.

Maybe he could pass it off as some kind of weird burn.

"There's Shiro and Allura's pod." Pidge observed, sparing them a glance. "Once we retrieve it, we can head back to the castle-ship. Hopefully they managed to get some data we can use."

"So you manage to actually steal any of that quint-whatever?" Lance asked.

"No." Furrowing his brow, Keith shook his head. "Got caught before I got the chance."

Not one of his better moments, in hindsight.

"So what do you think that scary dude was, anyways?" Lance asked. "Because it didn't look like any of the Galra we've faced so far. I mean, from what we could see at least, what with the whole mask and cloak thing it had going on and all."

A druid, Keith wanted to supply, but he bit it back. "Maybe Coran knows."

"Maybe." Pidge remarked. "Okay, escape pod has docked. I'll set a course for our return back to the Castle."

Content with that, Keith leaned back against the wall of the green lion, closing his eyes and feeling its quiet hum. He could feel its energy almost prod at him, curious, and he fought the urge to snort, unable to help but think what a perfect fit for Pidge it was.

The red lion was still the best, but compared to the druid's energy... this was much better.

When the doors to the green lion's cockpit opened, he peeked one eye open, a slight frown gracing his features as Shiro entered.

And _only_ Shiro.

"Where's the princess?"


	19. odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hand that clasped her arm, guiding her down the labyrinth-like hallways of Central Command, was tight, claws digging into the material of her spacesuit. Its pace was too quick, and she had to hurry along to keep up, least she wind up being dragged- and she was not about to show them a display such as that.
> 
> No, she would walk with her head held high. Her kingdom might be long gone, but she would not give up her pride as its princess, least of all to its destroyers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter eighteen, the calm before the storm, you could say! I didn't want to shove all of the first season's finale into one chapter, so it's been split into at least two. Keith being the only one to object to saving Allura in canon takes on a whole new context here, something which I've been anticipating ever since I first started writing this story.
> 
> So as always, thanks for reading! We're near the end of burgundy, but not quite there yet! Season two will be featured in its own, separate story.

He'd known that it would come to a head at some point.

He just hadn't expected it to be so soon.

The hush that fell over the room after he'd said his piece was similar to the hush that had fallen over the green lion just before- but he didn't need to be able to sense energies to know that the energy of it was different.

He had said nothing wrong. He would stand by every word of it. This wasn't a mission they should go on- Allura had made her choice, and she knew the weight of it when she made it. Voltron did not abandon their own, but when Allura had chosen to value Shiro's freedom over that of her own, she had made the choice to live with the consequences of that decision.

Even if it meant losing her own.

He could respect that. Shiro was the black paladin, the leader of Voltron- in that regard, he was invaluable. If he had been in the same situation, he likely would have made the same choice.

Seemed like he had more in common with the Altean princess than he could have ever imagined.

His words, however, did _not_ go over well with the paladins. Not that he suspected they would.

"That's cold Keith, even for you."

Fixing his gaze on Hunk, he watched the yellow paladin flinch a little underneath it. There were no tears now, no embraces.

He had isolated himself as the odd man out here, but he knew what he had said was right. They couldn't just bring Voltron straight to Zarkon- Hunk had been right earlier, when he'd said that attacking Central Command would be the stupidest possible move they could make. Hell, it was probably what Zarkon _wanted_!

"What if it was one of us?" Hunk asked, placing a hand over his heart, almost seeming to look pained. "What if it was me? You wouldn't abandon _me_ , would you?"

He had asked himself that same thing, before the Balmera. He didn't know then.

"...would you?"

He still didn't know now.

"I'm not saying I like the idea."

It wasn't that he didn't care about the paladins- he... _fine_ , he was willing to admit that he cared about them all, at least a little. He didn't know how they'd done it, but the humans had wormed their way into his heart, and intended to stick there, like some kind of parasite.

But this wasn't about how much he cared about them, or how little. This was about _war_. He knew the sting of losing people he cared about already.

Blades who had helped raise him, that he had known since he was a child... gone now. He had been the one to leave them to die, in more than one instance. Even Asnik, who had told him stories as a child, when he was still too weak to leave the med bay, he had left behind.

He already had the blood of people he cared about on his hands. What was one more?

Really, what was one more, when it came to the best chance they had to dismantle a ten thousand year old empire? It wasn't like he wanted Allura to _die_ \- sure, he wasn't exactly close to the Altean princess, but smashing in with Voltron wasn't their only option, just their _worst_ option.

"I'm just thinking like a paladin." He finished, not breaking his gaze from any of them.

It turned into a glower, however, at Lance's words. _Scared_? What the hell did _he_ even understand about this war? This entire time, he'd been treating the whole thing like it was some kind of game, as if the simple act of being able to form Voltron would somehow overturn ten thousand years of conquest in an instant.

If it was that simple, then what the hell did his comrades' sacrifices mean?

If it hadn't been for Pidge cutting in, he would have said as much. Instead, he withdrew, lips set in a tight frown.

He'd said his piece, he couldn't insist upon it further, not without his own motives being called into question. He wasn't about to compromise his own mission, not if he could help it.

Listening with only half an ear, Keith tried not to betray too much on his own face. They were actually serious about this- about going to rescue Allura.

At least they didn't seem intent on rushing in without a plan, so well- there was that.

Gritting his teeth, he had to actively fight the urge to interject at multiple points. The data that they had managed to get from the Galra ship covered a fair bit about what the Blade of Marmora already knew about Zarkon's Central Command- but not all. They didn't, for example, know the most likely locations where a prisoner of Allura's status would be stored.

_He_ did.

He just couldn't _tell_ them.

And that was... that was more frustrating than he would have thought. If he could just pull Coran away for awhile, he could tell him in private- but he wasn't sure how hot the Altean man would be on having a private chat with the Galra who had just said he was okay with abandoning his princess.

At least he didn't expose him right then and there. In hindsight, saying his piece had been a pretty risky move.

But he couldn't not do it! What was he _supposed_ to do, just sit here and nod in agreement as they decided to hand deliver Voltron straight to Zarkon?

Gaze flickering down to his right hand, he could just make out a bit of purple peeking out from where he had hidden it underneath the crock of his arm. If he couldn't do anything to help here, at least he could take care of this.

Slipping off of the bridge without anyone noticing, he made his way to where the paladin armor had been stored. He didn't know about the damaged gauntlet, but he could probably replace the undersuit easily enough. The mottled purple color on his hand showed no signs of expanding, but it showed no signs of _fading_ either.

He had to try and get in touch with Kolivan somehow. He doubted that he had time to get down to the red lion, someone would notice if he was gone that long- but he had to let him know. Sending a transmission from within the castle-ship itself, without the red lion to protect him would be a risk, but it might very well be one he'd have to take.

He was right about the gauntlets, but thankfully, right about the undersuit as well. Replacing it had been a simple matter- Altean clothing was designed to fit any form, a question of his which the princess had answered by her little shapeshifting display.

Tugging it on, he clenched and unclenched his right hand. It must have avoided a direct hit, because he didn't seem to be having any problems with it. As far as he was concerned, that was a good thing.

They were about to head into a dangerous situation, he didn't want to do it handicapped.

Pulling on the rest of his paladin armor, fixing the damaged gauntlet back into place, Keith drew in a long breath. He was sort of getting used to it by now.

Right, Kolivan.

He still had to contact Kolivan.

Peering out of the armory, Keith narrowed his eyes, glancing both ways down the hall. A tight frown on his lips, he ducked his head back in, grabbing one of the consoles to bring up a visual on the bridge, double checking to make sure that all of the paladins were still there.

Making contact with Kolivan out in the open like this was a risk, but one he would have to take. There was an emergency back channel that he could use, one that the castle-ship wouldn't be able to detect, but if anyone checked went back and checked the logs, there'd be trouble.

Confident that no one was coming down from the bridge, keeping a close eye on the screen, he dug out his transmitter from where he'd hidden it in his armor. Switching it on, he contacted Kolivan using the back channel, knowing right away it would trigger a red flag for his leader.

Which was fair. If any situation qualified as an emergency, it was probably this.

As expected, the man's face, when it appeared, was tense. He almost never used this channel- and so he didn't fail to catch the gravity of the situation right away.

He didn't miss the way Kolivan took stock of the fact that he was not sending the transmission from the red lion- and likewise, taking stock of the fact that he was currently in full paladin armor, to boot. He could see the gears working in his head, putting the pieces together and coming to the conclusion that something had gone very wrong in between now, and the time he had last sent him a transmission.

"Report."

He perked up at the sound- an archaic, obscure dialect of Galran. It had all but died out with the destruction of their home world, but it had lived on through the Blades.

It worked well enough as a verbal code. The only Galra who would have any cause to recognize it was Zarkon, but it was an old tongue from the servant's class, so it was unlikely the emperor had ever bothered to learn it in the first place.

"Zarkon has the princess." Keith told him, struggling to form the words the way he wanted to. He was both out of practice, and using a tongue on which they would be unfamiliar on.

(Cantor would lecture him, were she not dead.)

"This is grave news." Kolivan told him. "What of Voltron?"

"Voltron is safe." He said, narrowing his eyes. "For now."

There was understanding in those eyes. He had read all of the reports that he sent, knew as well as he did that humans were a _soft_ species, because he had told him as much. Knew the paladin code, because he had told it to him. These things, he put together.

"The paladins intend to rescue her."

It was not a question, it was a conclusion.

"Yes." Keith told him. "I tried to talk them out of it, but they didn't listen."

That too, did not seem so unexpected.

"The Blade of Marmora cannot provide you with support." Kolivan told him- and he didn't miss the way his expression grew strained. "You are on your own, Kyix."

Closing his eyes, Keith drew in a long breath. "I know."

His words barely came out as a whisper, because while he had been sent on dangerous missions in the past, this was of an entirely different scale.

_Knowledge or death._

Opening his eyes, he steadied himself. He did not fear death. No Blade did.

"Be on your guard." Kolivan warned him. "It's possible that Zarkon may still possess a connection to the black lion. Be mindful of that."

He winced- that was another thing he didn't know how to tell the paladins. Allura had yet to mention it- in fact, she had very much danced around the topic, back when she had been giving out their bayards.

He didn't understand what good _hiding_ it would do. Maybe she was just ashamed that her father had once allowed such a monster to be the head of Voltron, given her overall disdain for the Galra as a whole.

(She truly would abhor to learn that one had taken command of her father's lion, wouldn't she?)

"I will do everything I can to get the paladins out alive, and to ensure the black lion- and Voltron- stay out of Zarkon's hands." Keith told him- and only then, did he allow his expression to somewhat falter. "If we- if _I_ survive, I will make contact. If I don't..."

There was a very real chance that he might not come back from this mission.

"I will give your mother your final words."

There was a deep, solemn tone to Kolivan's words.

Giving him a curt nod, Keith bit down on his lip, for a moment, unable to say anything else. Because while he didn't fear death, there was still some small part of him that feared never being able to see his mother again.

Guess he was still a bit of youngling after all.

"Go with the stars, Kyix." Kolivan told him- his tone, for once, soft, the old Galran blessing ill suited to his stoic features. "And come back, if you can."

"I'll try." Lips twitching into a forced grin, he couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh. "Much rather die with my own face anyways."

* * *

Calculate the odds.

Before even considering undertaking a mission, the first thing he always did was calculate the odds. Weighing the risks against the rewards, determining which of his order's members was best suited to the task ahead, and which weren't.

So Kolivan calculated the odds.

They were not good.

If he were able to get into contact with Thace, they would go up, but only by the smallest margin. But contacting Thace now would likely prove impossible- Zarkon likely expected that Voltron would come, and was very likely closely monitoring any communications coming in or going out of the base. By contacting him, he risked exposing their only agent within Central Command's ranks.

But the odds were higher with Thace there, rather than there being no Blade within the ranks of Central Command at all.

The paladins should not be attempting this mission at all. It was foolish, reckless, playing straight into the emperor's hands.

Extractions within the Blade of Marmora were precious few. The last time one had occurred, it was seventy five cycles ago, and had been due to an unanticipated natural disaster that resulted in the planet the agent was on being torn asunder, not capture by the empire.

(Incidentally, it had been Krolia. The son and the mother, cut from the same cloth.)

He had a standing order amongst the Blades that in the event that he should be captured, no attempts at extraction were to be made. Leadership of the Blade of Marmora was to fall onto Antok.

All understood this.

He did not think, from what Kyix had told him about the Altean princess, that she was so different. She deeply understood the value of Voltron- not just as a weapon, but as a beacon of hope, a rallying point. Bringing it straight to Zarkon was likely the last thing that she wanted.

But the paladins of Voltron were a different story.

The matter, however, was out of his hands. There was nothing that the Blade of Marmora could do, not at the moment. Given time, they could compose an extraction plan of their own- Zarkon was unlikely to simply kill a prisoner of the Altean princess' importance, and she was a key enough figure to gamble the risk on. If Thace chose to act, he would be doing so of his own consequence- but he could not say that he would discourage any choices he might make.

He had calculated the odds, were Voltron to fall into Zarkon's hands.

They were not good.

"Antok."

His tone curt, clipped, Kolivan stood with his back straight, betraying nothing.

"Summon all communications personnel on the base." He told him. "We must monitor every imperial channel for chatter. Send a message to Ulaz and all other communications bases in the area."

Antok watched him for a long moment, silently gauging his expression- before he gave him a curt nod. "It shall be done."

Expression hard, Kolivan tried not to dwell too long on the one odd that he could not properly account for, for it had proved far too erratic for him to truly gauge.

Kyix.

Because he didn't doubt that he meant what he said- that he would do everything he could to ensure the paladins made it out of there alive, to ensure that Zarkon did not get what he desired most. Once he set his mind to something, no matter how much he might have not wanted to do it at the outset, then he would give everything he had to accomplish his goal. It was just what he _meant_ that Kolivan could only begin to grasp at.

Knowing Kyix, it could mean anything.

* * *

Gritting her teeth, it was all she could to maintain her composure.

One would argue that there was not much point to it. It was clear that the Galra did not care for decorum in the least, not from the way they had stripped her of her stolen armor, nor from the harsh way they treated her.

The hand that clasped her arm, guiding her down the labyrinth-like hallways of Central Command, was tight, claws digging into the material of her spacesuit. Its pace was too quick, and she had to hurry along to keep up, least she wind up being dragged- and she was _not_ about to show them a display such as that.

No, she would walk with her head held high. Her kingdom might be long gone, but she would _not_ give up her pride as its princess, least of all to its destroyers.

She had suspected it ever since she'd seen Sendak, but it would seem that the Galra had fallen a long way from what they once were, those solid yellow eyes many now possessed simply being the tip. It did not surprise her in the least.

Flanking her on either side were robed figures, their features obscured by masks. There was something about them that she found deeply disturbing, and the fact that they remained just outside of the edge of her vision did nothing to abate said feeling.

But the most disturbing one of all was the _witch_.

She made her skin crawl.

"In here." She spoke, her words like needles on her skin.

She was being lead to a cell, she knew that much. Zarkon fully intended to use her as bait for the paladins, in hopes that he might seize Voltron from them when they came.

She could only pray that they would not.

The universe did not need the princess of Altea- but it _needed_ Voltron. She could only hope that they would be able to see that, to know that her life was not as important as the grand mission that lay before them.

_Zarkon_.

She had let herself doubt it, that he could still truly live. The Galra lived only a fraction of the Altean life span, so that he could still be alive after ten thousand years was simply out of the question. That perhaps his name had merely become a mantle, taken up by emperor after emperor, keeping his reign alive.

But no- the moment she had heard him speak, she _knew_.

This was the same monster that had killed her father, destroyed her planet and its people. The same monster that she would never forgive, _never_.

She did not understand how this could be, but she suspected that the answer lay somewhere in the witch. Casting a glance back in her direction even as the cell door slid open, she narrowed her eyes, trying and failing to place just what it was about her that made her skin crawl so.

For the span of a moment, the witch- _Haggar_ \- returned her gaze.

Then she was thrust into the cell, the door sliding shut behind her. Pushing herself to her feet with a grunt, she thrust her body against the door, not in the least surprised that it did not budge. The doors were made out of a thick material, not even she, with all of her Altean strength, could make it give.

So instead, she drew in a long breath. It was better to conserve her energy, rather than struggle pointlessly.

She could make out faint voices, just outside the door. Straining her ears, she could only just barely make out was being said, her Galran rustier than she would have liked to admit.

They were discussing... the transportation hub, she thought.

Something about... _quintessence_ , quintessence and...

"-the red paladin-"

She was not too proud to admit that in that instant, a bolt of panic surged through her chest. Had Keith been captured as well?

She found herself squinting, as if this would somehow enable her to hear better. No, surely not. He'd have been brought with her to the bridge of the ship should he have.

Just barely, she could make out the sound of Haggar's voice- and she nearly wished she hadn't, for it made her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach.

"Once Voltron is ours, bring him to me."

It was only once she made out the faint sound of footsteps moving away from the door, that she drew back from it, allowing herself to breathe again. What did Zarkon's witch want with _Keith_?

Narrowing her eyes, she turned the question over in her head, before her thoughts settled on one thing- Keith's strange behavior back on the Balmera. She had only caught a glimpse, on the other side of a screen, but there had been a strange haze to his eyes that she had _not_ liked.

Hunk had described it as a trance, and she could not say that she disagreed. If Haggar wanted something from Keith, it likely had something to do with that.

And that she could _not_ allow. Her capture was one thing, but they could not afford to lose one of the paladins. Least of all the red paladin, whose lion was notoriously picky.

Least of all to _Haggar_ , who no doubt, had all manner of foul things in store.

If she made it out of here, she would be sure to warn him. If she did not... well, she could only pray for the best.

At least she could remain satisfied with the knowledge that out of all the paladins, that Keith would not be so easily captured. She was not quite sure what gave her that confidence- perhaps simply something in his demeanor, more like a solider at times than the rest.

Exhaling, Allura let herself sink to her feet.

She would hold out hope that Voltron would not come for her- but she was not about to sit around here and do nothing either. She would think- if there was a way out of here, she would find it.

If not...

...she would remain, with her head held high, to the very end. Her pride was Altea's pride, and she would _not_ let it fall to the Galra.

* * *

He had barely noticed it when Keith had left the bridge.

He doubted anyone had- Keith could move rather quietly at times. He had marked it as a survival skill, and likely, it was. His gaze flickered over towards Hunk for a moment, his lips curling in a tight frown. Ever since he had heard him out after the Balmera, the idea had haunted his mind.

_Child solider_ answered questions about Keith that runaway didn't.

He wished it didn't.

God, he really, _really_ wished it didn't.

The blank on his enlistment form where his ethnicity should have been. His skills at combat, his _familiarity_ with combat. The scars. The _knife_.

His complete willingness to sacrifice himself.

His complete willingness to abandon Allura.

_"This is_ _**war** _ _, Shiro. We don't have time to tiptoe around my vulnerabilities."_

Shiro had been around soldiers. The Galaxy Garrison was _filled_ with soldiers- the title of Commander wasn't just for show. Keith, he recognized now, was a soldier.

A reckless, impulsive soldier, but a soldier nonetheless.

Each of the paladins, thrust into this war, were finding their own way to cope. Pidge tinkered, Hunk cooked, Lance... Lance pretended like it wasn't serious. He'd... yet to find one for himself, but after a year of living in Zarkon's cells, fighting in the arena, he felt confident he could take anything this war threw at him.

Keith _thrived_.

Glancing behind him during a lull in his conversation with Coran, he frowned, a familiar crop of black hair catching the corner of his eye. Just as he hadn't noticed him leave, he hadn't noticed Keith return either.

Keith caught his gaze, giving him a strained smile. Shiro returned it, far more naturally, giving the red paladin a slight nod of his head.

Turning away, Shiro fixed his gaze on the screen before him. He didn't need to question if he could count on Keith- he might have made his objections clear, but when it came down to it, he knew that he would follow through for them.

He wanted nothing more than to have a good talk with Keith, but there was no time for that now. Should they pull through this... then he'd speak with him. He knew he couldn't force the answers out of Keith, and he didn't intend to, but there was clearly a dialogue that needed to be opened up between them.

But right now, they had a mission.

Exchanging a nod with Coran, Shiro turned on his heel, straightening his back as he faced the other paladins.

"Everyone, eyes front. We've got a plan to get Allura."


	20. finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He felt the spike of energy before it actually hit them, for the span of a moment too intense for him to even process. Then the wave of nausea hit, and he felt his skin crawl, and he knew at once that this energy was that of a druid's, and more than one, penetrating Voltron's bond and trying to tear it apart at its core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the first season wraps up, and I am a terrible person.
> 
> This story might be finished, but please stick around for the upcoming sequel, _maroon_! Secrets will be revealed, a certain character will be introduced much sooner than in canon, and much more! So stay tuned!

All he could think about, making his way to the red lion, was how annoying Slav would be if he were here.

The last thing he wanted to hear as they flew into almost certain death, was just how _certain_ their death was. He'd be doubtlessly prattling off all kinds of atrociously low odds, giving him, and everyone around him, a headache.

And yeah... he basically had no illusion that this would go at all as planned. Their plan was dependent on so many factors- chief among them a factor that the rest of the paladins didn't even _know_ was a factor- whether or not Zarkon still possessed a bond with the black lion or not.

He'd tried asking Red, but she didn't seem to know.

Or she knew, and she just wasn't telling him. Which, nice, he thought they had bonded and all that. Apparently she'd help him send secret transmissions and spy on the team, but informing him as to whether or not their greatest enemy still held a connection with Voltron's most vital part?

Nah.

So yeah, there was basically every chance that they could die doing this, but it wasn't certain. He did say _almost_ \- and if there was anything he could do to up their odds of survival, even minimally, then he would pull out all the stops and do just that.

Even if it meant blowing his cover.

Because honestly? Getting the paladins out alive, with Voltron intact, was way more important than them learning that he was a lying Galra.

Drawing in a long breath, he allowed himself, for a moment, to give into his most base sensation- the rising tide of bloodlust at the challenge ahead. Even before the rise of the empire in its current form, the Galra had always been a warrior race, even those in the servant class- and the more impossible the challenge, the more intense the drive to overcome it became.

But he didn't allow it to stay for long. Burying it deep inside of himself, he knew that he couldn't trust it not to leak out over the paladin bond. Keeping it in check had been a constant issue, but he'd managed thus far.

Humans apparently considered bloodlust a _bad_ thing (weird), so... best to keep that hidden.

It might not have even mattered- the moment they formed Voltron, he was nearly overcome by what he was picking up from _their_ end of the paladin bond. Fear, anxiety, worry... but also determination and hope.

In spite of himself, he caught himself smiling.

Every so often, he caught himself wondering if maybe the universe hadn't made a mistake after all. With him? Oh yeah, sure, almost definitely, he was a _huge_ mistake, but the others? Maybe they weren't ideal paladins _yet_ , but after spending time with them, he was starting to understand that they had the makings of them.

Except for maybe Lance.

(Okay, fine, _even_ Lance.)

Maybe with time, they really could become the true defenders of the universe, do what the Blade of Marmora had been unable to do for centuries.

(Though probably not with his lying Galra ass dragging the team down.)

_Speaking_ of lies...

"What is _that_?" He heard Hunk's voice come across the com link, felt the spike of worry that came across the paladin bond- and not just from him, but all of them- even Shiro let out a flicker of it, before burying it deep down.

The solar barrier, Keith wanted to supply, but instead he bit his lip, gripping his controls tighter. He had been afraid of this. Maybe with Voltron's power- and that was a _big_ maybe, he'd read the reports about Central Command- they'd be able to break through, but as long as it remained operational, they were all basically trapped here.

No point in thinking about how fucked they all were now. Might as well just try and do everything he could to _unfuck_ them.

(That probably wasn't a word, but English was a stupid language anyways.)

Throwing himself into the heat of battle, he focused only on their goal- rescuing Allura. They would need the sword for this- and consequently, the red paladin, so he couldn't afford to give the mission anything but his full, undivided attention.

It was easy. Again- _warrior race_.

Until it wasn't.

He _felt_ the spike of energy before it actually hit them, for the span of a moment too intense for him to even process. Then the wave of nausea hit, and he felt his skin crawl, and he knew at once that this energy was that of a druid's, and more than one, penetrating Voltron's bond and trying to tear it apart at its core.

Its core.

The black lion.

_Shiro!_

Biting down to keep himself from screaming as the energy tore them apart, he felt a shudder run through his spine. Heart pounding wildly in his chest, he tried to get a grip on his thoughts, fractured and wild that they were, like there were suddenly too many voices speaking at once, their pitch increasing until they were frantic, _distorted_ , yet somehow still whispering, always whispering, until he couldn't tell which was his _own_ anymore-

-and then he was back.

Drawing in a long breath, he gripped the controls of the red lion with everything he had, using it to ground him. Dimly, he realized that it had been her roar that had dragged him back, muttering a silent thanks in his mother tongue.

The red lion let out a soft rumble, then one much deeper- warning.

Fighters. Tons of them. More than he'd ever seen deployed at once in his life, and that was saying something.

They were serious about wiping them out.

Shaking- quite literally- the last vestiges of the druids' nauseating energy away, he drew in a long breath, letting himself feel the reassuring thrum of energy from the red lion in its place.

Alright, so this wasn't working out as planned- _no shit_ \- but he could handle a few fighters.

The red lion let out a low rumble at the understatement.

Making a mental check of the other lions, he counted them off- there was Pidge in the green lion, tearing away at the hull of a Galra cruiser with her lion's laser. Lance, in the blue lion, freezing a trio of fighters, and Hunk, in the yellow lion, using the bulk of its armor to smash them into pieces.

Hell, there was Coran, getting into the action in the most dramatic way possible, as if he'd planned it that way.

(From what little he understood about the Altean man, he probably had.)

But where was...?

_...Shiro!_

Grunting, he turned his lion around, narrowing his eyes. His thoughts must have gotten more scrambled than he'd anticipated, if he'd so easily forgotten about something so important. Where was Shiro?

Eyes scanning the battlefield, it was with a knot of dread that they fell back on Zarkon's ship, and it dawned on him that the reason Shiro wasn't with them was because the black lion had never moved from where it had been when Voltron burst apart.

No- that wasn't true either.

It was being drawn in.

Zarkon was making a play for the black lion, and this _entire battle_ had been a cover for that.

"Shiro?" Trying to connect with him through the com line, Keith narrowed his eyes. "Are you okay?"

For a moment, nothing- and then he made out the sound of a groan, like he was caught in a struggle. "Something is overriding the controls!" Shiro forced out, and it sounded like it was an effort just to speak. "My lion is not responding!"

The pained groan his words were followed by did nothing to abate the surge of panic that bolted through him. Because all he could hear was that Zarkon's connection with the black lion _still existed_ , and that they had basically just hand delivered it to him.

If he took the black lion, here and now... gritting his teeth, Keith drowned out all other noise. He couldn't let that happen. Letting Zarkon get his hands on the black lion would mean undoing everything that the Blade of Marmora had worked for- that _he_ had worked for- would render the sacrifices of his comrades, his _grandmother_ , meaningless.

He would _not_ let that happen.

He barely registered anything else- not the fact that the black lion had ejected Shiro, or the fact that Coran had managed to locate Allura's exact coordinates. He could dimly make out the sound of Lance saying something to him, but right now, his entire focus was on one thing- preventing Zarkon from getting what he wanted.

Was this a good idea?

Probably not.

Was it his only option at the moment?

Basically, yeah.

Building up as much speed as he could, Keith drew in a breath. Forcing back the tide of nausea that drawing closer to the druid's energy caused him, pushing their chattering voices out of his head, he did the one thing he could think of to break their hold on the black lion.

_Ram it._

It was a tactic that probably would have been _way_ more effective with the yellow lion, but it worked. The purple glow that had ensnared the black lion faded the further it got away from the druids, and thankfully, so did his nausea.

Because he wasn't the only one who chose to follow the black lion.

He had been born into this rebellion, had dedicated himself to its cause from a young age. He knew the stakes, he knew just what- and _who_ \- they were fighting against.

He never expected to actually _see_ him.

But he knew at once who the man standing before the black lion was, unfazed and unaffected by the vacuum of space.

_Zarkon._

His vision went red.

The red lion _roared_.

* * *

Oh no, no, no, this was not good, this was not good at all.

_None_ of this was good actually. It had stopped being good since the moment the paladins returned to the castle-ship sans Allura, with the dreadful news that she had been captured, and was now on her way to _Central Command_ , of all places.

Allura. His princess. The only remnant of his people- of his _family_ \- that he had left. He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't.

He knew the odds were against them- but he couldn't not take the risk. Perhaps it might not be what she would want, but without Allura... he didn't know how he could go on, if he was going to be quite honest.

But things had very quickly gone from bad to worse- with Voltron broken apart, and Zarkon attempting to reclaim the black lion. He had hesitated to tell the paladins the truth- that Zarkon had once been the black lion's paladin, long in the past, but he had decided against it. He'd wanted them to focus their all on the battle ahead, not dwell on the past.

Perhaps that had been a mistake.

He didn't know how the knowledge would have prevented this, but if there was a slim chance it could have, he should have taken it.

He never should have allowed Allura to go on that mission at all.

And now? Now Voltron was split apart, Shiro forced out of the black lion, and of all things... of all things, Keith- _Kyix_ \- was currently engaging Zarkon in a head on battle.

The _same_ Kyix who had been against going on this mission at all.

Part of him held it against the young Galra, to say such an awful thing, to treat Allura's life as if it were worth nothing- but part of him knew that there was some truth to what he said. His words had been cold, but no more so than those of someone who knew the stakes better than any of them- and had been consequently hardened by them.

So that he would throw himself at Zarkon, was...

...no, actually, to be fair, it _did_ line up pretty consistently with the behavior that Kyix had displayed in the past.

Still, even if he was in the red lion, the match up was ill advised. He knew firsthand the power that Zarkon now possessed- and with the black lion's bayard still in his possession, he knew that his combat abilities were practically limitless.

And blast him, Kyix must know that as well.

Probably _better_ than him, even. No doubt Zarkon's power had grown in the past ten thousand years, now with an empire that spanned nearly the entire known universe at his command.

He must, because he'd turned off his com link the moment he had gunned for Zarkon, as if anticipating his protests. He could work around it, but he didn't have _time_ for that, not engaged in battle with a whole fleet of cruisers as he was. Someone had to keep them all occupied while the paladins rescued Allura- and that someone was apparently him.

He just had to hope that the other paladins located Allura in time- and that Shiro was able to return to the black lion and seize control before the window of opportunity that Kyix was giving him closed. Because if not...

...well, he failed to see how this scenario ended without the loss of the red paladin.

_Victory or death_ , it seemed, had become the motto of the Galra Empire- and as he watched the clash between lion and former paladin, he was beginning to understand how deeply that thread ran.

* * *

He wasn't going to fool himself by thinking he could take Zarkon out.

If it were that easy to kill him, the Blade of Marmora could have done him in eons ago, back when they had been nothing more than a tiny group of assassins. He would have been born into a free world, never having to know his tyranny.

(He couldn't even imagine what that would be like.)

But like _hell_ was he going to let him get his hands on the black lion.

He would give Shiro a chance. That much, he could do.

And if there was a chance... even the _slightest_ chance, that he could pay Zarkon back some of the pain that he had caused him, then he was going to take it for everything that it was worth. It didn't matter if it was as small as a single scratch- anything would be fine.

As long as it sent a message.

_We are here._

_Someday you will not._

He didn't know if the _we_ he referred to in that moment meant the Blade of Marmora or the paladins of Voltron- or both.

Probably didn't even matter.

The red lion roared, and he roared with it, the sound pitiful coming from human vocal chords. The pain of losing its former paladin was still raw, running like a deep thread, the wound dug deeper by the time it had spent as a captive of the Galra Empire in its own right. The Galra empire took, and it took, and continued to take from it- and he knew now why it had responded to him, back on the cruiser.

It had taken things from him too.

It knew.

For the span of a moment, it felt almost as if their energies were in sync- connected, deeper than before. He called out, and the red lion responded.

It had been so instinctive, that he didn't realize what had happened until it actually did- and the remnants of the beam were fading. Drawing in a long, shaking breath, he heard his blood pound in his ears, before he grinned, for a moment, unable to help but marvel at this new weapon.

Just what he needed.

Because he did, sort of, realize that he was at the end of his rope here. He didn't think he could take another hit. The red lion was fast, but it had the weakest armor out of all the lions, so just keeping it up for this long was nothing short of an accomplishment.

So he'd best just make this next attack count.

It was a railgun, some part of him realized, and as much satisfaction as he took from the sight of Zarkon running from its blast, it turned to dread in the next instant, as he realized that he had lost him. Desperately trying to track him, he felt his blood freeze in his veins as the emperor's voice came from above him.

The red lion was fast, but not fast enough.

"You fight like a Galra solider."

His voice, deep and gravely, sent a shudder through his spine- and it was only in that instant that he realized that he could sense absolutely _nothing_ from him.

"But not for long."

The world seemed to spin, and it took him longer than he'd like to admit to register that it was from the impact. Grunting, he shook it off, ready to throw himself back into the fight-

-when he realized that the red lion's controls were no longer responding.

Gritting his teeth, he moved them up and down, trying to garner some kind of response, but no- nothing. The red lion's energy, which had hummed all around him before, was now gone, almost as if it had never been there.

It was in that instant, that he realized he was probably about to die.

Drawing in a long breath, he held his grip tight on the red lion's now useless controls. Closing his eyes, he braced himself for the inevitable impact, and the silence that would come with it.

It never came.

Instead, his eyes snapped open to a bright light, blue and clear, cutting through the void of space. It took him a moment to place that color, but once he did, he felt relief washing through his system.

"I got you, buddy."

_Shiro_.

The black lion scooped his own up like it were nothing- and the thought that someone had come for him was no less strange the second time around than it was the first time. This was just the way the paladins did things, some part of him dimly thought- even now, armed with the knowledge that he might not do the same for them.

Humans, he thought, were strange.

All but slumping back in his chair, he closed his eyes, letting out a long breath. He'd done it. He'd bought enough time, and now Shiro was here, safe, and back in the black lion.

And from the sound of it, the princess was safe too. Which meant the mission, for all its poor odds, had been a success.

With her here, they could wormhole out, and-

Eyes snapping open, Keith lurched forward. Swearing underneath his breath, he cursed himself for forgetting the most important fact.

The solar barrier.

_The solar barrier!_

As long as that was still up, they were vulnerable, trapped. He barely even needed Hunk's confused, borderline panicked exclamation to know that creating a wormhole hadn't worked- the solar barrier was casting too much interference.

And now they were down one lion.

_His_ lion.

Drawing in a long breath, he swore again, this time more viciously than the first. If they wanted to get out of here, there were only two options- form Voltron, and try to break free, which they couldn't do, not with the red lion unresponsive.

Chewing on his lip, Keith leaned back in chair. To the paladins, that was their _only_ option.

He knew of one more.

Kolivan might not have been able to contact Thace, but the man wasn't _blind_. Even without direct orders, he'd come through for them in the clutch. He _knew_ him, knew he would.

But it would be kind of nice if he _hurried up_.

* * *

He swore he could almost _sense_ Kyix's impatience from here.

Letting out a faint snort at the idea, he quickly dismissed it. While he might not be _reazit_ , it didn't take any kind of gift to guess what was going on in the child's mind right now.

He had received no word from Kolivan about this- but he doubted it was because their little spy had declined to inform their leader. Likely, he had, with all the frustration that he could muster- he could not imagine that this was a rescue effort that Kyix would consent to of his own free will.

That it had gone as well as it had was nothing short of a miracle.

Using, of course, a certain definition of _well_.

No, he suspected that he had fought against the idea- but though he did not have access to the same regular reports on the Voltron paladins as Kolivan did, what he _did_ have was reports of their activities from this side- and they were telling enough, for him to learn just what kind of people these new paladins of Voltron were.

When Kolivan had informed him that Kyix had been chosen as a paladin, his heart had swelled with pride- but also confusion. The last he knew of the little one, he was on a backwater planet the likes Thace had never heard of- one quite literally named after _dirt_. How he had gone from there, to becoming a _paladin_ , was something that he could not quite figure out.

Although it _did_ sound like something he would do.

Of course, Kolivan had not told him in so many words that it was Kyix- he had merely told him that they had an agent working within Voltron's ranks, but he'd known that tone he'd spoken with. It was that same exasperated one he used whenever the child was involved with _anything_ , the one he used to mask the underlying sense of pride he carried for the young one.

(He was well named, Kyix was. Though sometimes he felt _yzix_ , chaos, would be more apt.)

It was not hard to piece two and two together from that.

Nor was it hard to pinpoint which lion the smallest Blade flew- he had been the one who'd taught him to fly, after all. Two years on a backwater planet had done nothing to deteriorate his skills, and the fact that he had been chosen by the red lion, of all the Voltron lions, gave him the strangest urge to preen.

He'd taught him well. In a few years, he might very well lose his title as the best pilot in the Blade to him- and he was rather alright with that.

... _if_ he didn't get himself killed before then.

Which he might, if he kept pulling off stunts like the one he had today- between ramming the black lion full speed in order to keep it away from the druids, to challenging Zarkon to a one on one match...

...sometimes it was like he was actively _trying_ to kill him with worry.

(He didn't know how Krolia laughed most of his antics off, until he remembered she was much the same way in every regard.)

It had taken all of his training- literally _all_ of it- to not give himself away the moment Kyix had decided to engage the emperor. And while he had done it within the confines of the red lion, it would not be nearly enough to protect him.

Zarkon was powerful- it was something every member of the Blade of Marmora was taught, had drilled into them. Know thy enemy- and their enemy was mighty indeed. Challenging him directly was merely a fast way to get oneself killed.

So of course Kyix would do just that. Of course he would.

If he thought he would not inform Kolivan of this, then he was _sorely_ mistaken.

And then perhaps he would wish that Zarkon _had_ killed him, for he knew that in his stead, Kolivan _would_.

But first, he needed to allow Kyix- and the paladins of Voltron- to escape from here. Gaining access to the solar barrier was not at all difficult- if there was one fault within the empire, it was that Zarkon was so certain that his grip on his people was so absolute, that he did not question the allegiances of those around him. He, and the rest of the Blade of Marmora, had been exploiting this flaw for centuries.

With this action, he knew, that would change.

But it was worth the risk.

* * *

"What just happened!?"

"Who cares? _Wormhole!_ "

A faint grin on his lips, Keith slumped back in his chair. Maybe they couldn't figure out what had just happened, but he could- he'd have to remember to thank Thace the next time he saw him.

"About time." He muttered, tension washing out of his shoulders. With the battle over, the pulse of blood pounding in his ears fading, he felt an exhaustion take him, but he didn't give himself over to it- not yet.

Not until they'd-

The feeling of something dark and twisted reaching _through_ him caused him to jolt up in his chair, his breath hitching in his throat. For the span of a moment, he forgot how to breathe, fear seizing every fiber of his being as he desperately tried to process just what he was feeling.

But he couldn't.

He couldn't think, because the voices were back, this time surging, _screaming_ , no longer a whisper, he _begged_ for the whispers. He was almost certain that he screamed with them, the voices of the paladins blending in with the voices in his head, making a horrible, twisted harmony.

Nails digging into his undersuit, on some level, he was aware that he was trembling, gasping for breath. He felt as if he was being torn apart, as if his very being was becoming distorted, unable to grasp as he had on the Balmera that this was not happening to _him_ , but rather, to the wormhole itself.

If he had not been screaming before, he was now.

It did not last long- but he did not know if the darkness that claimed him was a mercy or not.


End file.
